Title: Slipping Away
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Giacomo Casanova
Fandom: Doctor Who/Casanova (Masterpiece Theater)
Rating: PG-13
Table: Amnesty in January, 5_prompts
Prompt: From the Connect Three Challenge, Graph 2 -- Grains of sand
Author's Note: The character of Giacomo Casanova is based on the BBC version of Casanova starring David Tennant.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Giacomo Casanova. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor knelt on the sand that he and Giac were walking across, looking out over the water that sparkled and rippled only a few feet away from him. He'd always found the beach therapeutic, but today, it only served to make him feel melancholy.

He would only have a few more days here with Giac before he'd have to leave again; it always tore his hearts out to say goodbye to the man he loved, but he had no choice in the matter. He couldn't stay here; Giac was a figure from history, and the Doctor wasn't part of his world.

He'd had other friends who were part of the history books. There was Will Shakespeare, and other people who he'd met over the centuries from traveling back into Earth's history. They all meant a great deal to him; he cared for all of them in special ways.

But none of the others had been his lovers; none of them had captured his hearts and soul in the way that Giac had. He was more than just a lover; he was part of the Doctor, and it hurt terribly to know that he would eventually be forced to let Giac go.

In some ways, maybe he already had, the Time Lord told himself with a sigh. He had accepted the fact that he couldn't stay here -- and that Giac couldn't come out into the stars with him. That was really all that he wanted -- and it was what he couldn't have.

He wanted to show Giac his world; he wanted to introduce his lover to the wonders of the universe. He wanted to show Giac the future, to let him marvel over what would come ahead of him, far beyond his own time; he wanted to let his love know what the would would be like.

That was something that Giac had refused each time that he'd brought it up. When the Doctor had finally asked his lover why he kept turning down the invitation to come out into the stars and see the future. the other man had answered with a smile and soft words.

"This is the time that I belong in, my sweet," he had told the Doctor, leaning over the Time Lord and stroking his hair while they were lounging in bed. "I am not a part of your world, alas. We must be content with what stolen moments we can take with each other."

The Doctor had started to protest, but Giac had only shaken his head and smiled, pressing a single finger against the Doctor's lips before bowing his head for a sweet, heady kiss that had taken his breath away. After that, there had seemed to be no more need for words.

Giac was right, the Time Lord thought sadly, picking up another handful of sand. He wasn't a part of the future world that the Doctor lived in, the world that he called his own. Even though he could travel in time, not everyone could adjust to doing so.

It was better if Giac stayed here, in his own time, if he never saw the wonders that the universe had to offer. But the knowledge that he could never show the man he loved what his world was like, that he could never Giac a part of that world, cut into his hearts.

If only things could be different. But they couldn't. He had to accept the life they shared as it was, and take joy in the fact that at least they had found each other and shared love, as Giac had told him so many times. He had to learn to see their situation in the same way that his lover did.

But that was hard to do when he could feel his time with Giac slipping away each time he was here in Venice, like the grains of sand that even now fell through his fingers back to the ground they'd come from. It was all too apt an analogy for his lover's life.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. He couldn't take Giac away with him -- and even if he could, the other man would age and die, just as all humans did. He couldn't give the man he loved immortality; he couldn't be with Giac forever, no matter how much he wanted to be.

They only time they had would be the stolen moments that they could take when he was here -- and that didn't happen often enough. Even now, he could sense that Giac was getting older, even though he always looked the same when the Doctor saw him again.

Who knew when he would next be able to return? And there would come a time when he would overshoot the mark, when he would come back and Giac would have aged considerably. He would still love the other man, but eventually, things would change between them.

There would come a time when he would come back -- and Giac would be an old man. He might even come too late, and find that his love had died while he was gone. That thought twisted his hearts, made him feel as though he'd already failed Giac.

He wouldn't want to be here when Giac died. It was a lovely, romantic idea to think that he could be sitting by his love's bedside, holding his hand as he slipped away into another realm of being -- but the Doctor knew that he couldn't bear to witness that.

As much as he loved Giac, he couldn't watch the love of his life die. And Giac knew it, too. His lover had already had that discussion with him, telling him firmly that he didn't want the Doctor here when he slipped over into the next realm, on a trip to where the Time Lord couldn't accompany him.

It was as though he could already feel Giac slipping away from him, a little at at time, the Doctor thought sadly, feeling tears beginning to well up behind his eyes. Even though they had plenty of time left to be together, that time felt as if it was rushing by far too quickly.

He didn't want to lose Giac, but he knew that it was inevitable. Giac was human; he wouldn't live forever. There would eventually be a time when the Doctor would no longer be able to come back to this century, this city, and know that Giac was here, waiting for him.

Even now, he could feel that their time together was dwindling. It wasn't Giac's fault -- nor his own. Time was simply marching on, whether in Giac's century or the future. And even though he was a Time Lord, he couldn't stop that inexorable forward movement.

The Time Lord stared down at the grains of sand in his hand, seeing his own face next to Giac's there for a moment. How much longer did the two of them have before they were torn apart forever? How many more times would he be here in Giac's world?

He could never come back once his love was gone. He was sure of that. This world without Giac .... even though Venice was beautiful, it wasn't a place that he could bear to be without the man he loved by his side. It would be nothing to him without Giac's presence.

The grains of sand were slipping away through his fingers just as quickly as his time with Giac would. That time would speed by faster and faster, until it was nothing but a blur, and each time that he was with his lover would become shorter.

The Doctor struggled to hold his tears back; he wasn't going to cry here, not in a public place. Those tears would be too hard to explain to Giac; he didn't want the man he loved to be distressed by his emotional turmoil. He wanted their time together to be happy, joyous.

He owed that much to Giac. He should make the time that they were with each other a time ot peace and happiness, not sorrow and worry for the future. This time was a gift, even if it was slipping through their fingers at an alarmingly rapid rate.

Standing up, he turned to see his lover walking towards him, a smile on his face, his arms outstretched. The Doctor let the last grains of sand fall from his hand as he headed for Giac, pushing those disturbing thoughts to the back of his mind and locking them away.

He wanted to enjoy the time that he was here with the man he loved. He wanted to be enfolded in Giac's arms, to know that he was loved in a way that few people had ever known. There was no need for him to distress himself with worries of a future that hadn't come about yet.

That future would be upon him all too soon. And there was no reason for him to bring it upon himself any sooner than he had to. With a smile, he held out his arms to his lover, wishing for one final time that their moments together wouldn't slip away from them too quickly.

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