Title: Sound of Your Voice
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Arthur Eddington
Fandom: Doctor Who/Einstein and Eddington
Rating: PG
Table: 1
Prompt: 71, Voice
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Arthur Eddington. Please do not sue.

***

Cambridge. Home of so many great human minds, the Doctor thought to himself as he looked around, a smile on his face. He could feel at home here in so many ways -- even though he was really much smarter than any of these humans could ever be.

Oh dear, there was some of that Gallifreyan xenophobia coming to the forefront, he thought, mentally chiding himself. He was really the last person who should be thinking in that way; he wasn't like most of the rest of his race when it came to his attitude about humans.

He loved humans. He always had. They were so fascinating -- always interested in what was going on in the galaxy around them, constantly searching for new horizons to conquer. They were so .... so adventurous, in a way that Gallifreyans had never been.

All right, so he didn't know just how his race had been before he'd come into existence. But he had the definite feeling that their xenophobia had always been there; it was too ingrained in the minds of most of his people for it to have been a new phenomenon.

He'd studiously avoided adopting that sort of a mind-set when his race had been predominant in the galaxy, and he certainly wasn't going to think like that now that he was the last of his kind. That wouldn't be a good way to represent his race, now would it?

Not that most people on Earth would ever know that he wasn't one of them. Definitely not anyone in this time period, at any rate.

He could really lose himself here, he thought dreamily as he strolled along one of the many paths that led through a pleasant quadrangle of the university. It was a place where he almost felt as if he fit in -- though, of course, it wasn't somewhere he really belonged.

The Doctor almost snorted aloud at that thought. He didn't really belong anywhere, did he? The only place that was a safe refuge for him was the Tardis -- and she could be taken anywhere in the galaxy.

He would always be a traveler, a wanderer. He'd gotten used to not having anyplace that he could call home, hadn't he? It seemed so long since the destruction of Gallifrey -- though sometimes it seemed as if it had only happened yesterday.

That was a time that he didn't need to think about, not now. He'd pushed it to the back of his mind for a long time, and he was learning to accept his part in the destruction of his home planet and his people. That was really all he could do.

Besides, he was here to look for Arthur Eddington. He wasn't here to make himself melancholy over events in his past that were over and done with, events that he couldn't change. He had to look to the future, not back at the past.

Though that would be a lot easier to do if he had any idea of where to find Arthur, he told himself, raising a hand and shading his eyes against the brightness of the sun.

Where was he supposed to start? All he knew was that Arthur worked here at Cambridge, and that he lived nearby with his sister. He could vaguely remember the sister; the memory was even fainter than his memories of Arthur.

If only he could recapture those feelings, the Doctor told himself with a sigh, shoving his hands into the pockets of his trousers. They were still there, just under the surface, waiting to explode back into life. He was sure of it.

There were times when he could almost grasp those feelings, when it seemed as though he could remember how it felt to kiss Arthur or feel the other man's arms around him. He had to concentrate and reach for the memories -- but he knew they were there.

He was going to find them again -- somehow. He wouldn't have been able to bring them to mind if they hadn't been important to him at one time; and he was fairly sure that he could feel the same way again if he was given the chance.

What would it be like to come face to face with the man who had been his lover when he was human? He had no idea; the concept of loving someone who he could barely remember was alien to him, but he was determined to find out if seeing Arthur again would make a difference.

He was sure that it would. He couldn't have said exactly why, but he just knew that being with Arthur again would bring those emotions back to life.

After all, he reasoned with himself as he walked along, he wouldn't have been able to access those emotions at all if there wasn't some reason for them still being such a strong part of his psyche. Maybe there was more to his relationship with Arthur than he remembered.

A thought occurred to him that made his step falter; he veered off the concrete path to make his way to a bench under a tree, sitting down and resting his chin in his hands as he pondered the question that was looming uppermost in his mind.

What if Arthur's feelings had changed? What if he'd found someone else, and was happy with them? What if he'd decided that he didn't fancy men after all, had met some woman and married her, and was now a father, unreachable in any way?

No, that couldn't be. The Doctor shook his head, frowning, stubbornly refusing to believe that could have happened. According to his calculations, he'd managed to come back to this time less than six months after John Smith had left it.

Still .... people in this time period married young, and they often rushed into an entanglement far too soon after they'd lost someone they had cared for, trying to salve their wounds. He could only hope that Arthur hadn't taken that route.

And, of course, he had to actually find the other man. At the moment, he had no idea where to even begin looking.

He would have to somehow find out what Arthur's schedule was without seeming as though he was some sort of stalker, he thought, scanning the faces of the people who passed by the bench, not finding any of them the slightest bit familiar.

"What in the world ....? John?"

The woman's voice didn't sound familiar, but she certainly seemed to know him -- at least, she knew him by the name he'd had when he was last here. The Doctor looked up, surprised that anyone would remember someone as insignificant as John Smith.

He shook his head, surprised that his voice, when he spoke, sounded genuinely regretful. "No, I'm afraid not. My name is .... errr .... Jack. Jack Harkness." Why would he have given that particular name? He hoped it wouldn't cause any trouble later.

"Oh! You looked so much like someone I knew not long ago .... someone who meant a great deal to my brother." The woman looked embarrassed, as though she was going to walk away without saying another word.

It dawned on the Doctor that this must be Winnie -- the sister who Arthur lived with. He smiled, indicating that she could have a seat on the bench next to him. "I'm sorry that I'm not who you thought I was .... but if you'd like to talk ...."

Winnie nodded and sat down slowly, gingerly, without taking her eyes from his face. It almost seemed that she was afraid he would disappear if she looked away.

"The resemblance is extraordinary," she breathed, her eyes studying his features. "My brother would be astonished if he could see you. I don't think he'd be able to believe his eyes. I can't quite believe it myself."

"Well, you know that they say every person has a double somewhere in the world," the Doctor offered, hoping that his words didn't sound too stilted. "What's his name? Maybe I've met him somewhere before ....?" He almost held his breath waiting for her answer.

But she shook her head, looking disturbed. "I don't know if Arthur would be able to deal with meeting you -- not after the loss of his .... friend," she murmured, looking down at her hands, then quickly back up at him.

"I'm terribly sorry, I've forgotten my manners. I'm Winnie -- Winnie Eddington." She extended a hand to shake his, looking a little shamefaced. "I came here to meet my brother -- he's teaching this afternoon."

At that moment, a tall, handsome man came into view; the moment the Doctor saw him, he knew this was the man he'd been waiting to see. The feelings that he'd been trying to keep back burst forth, as though a dam had broken somewhere inside him.

Arthur. This was Arthur -- and he was even more devastatingly handsome than the dim memories had made him out to be. No wonder he had fallen in love with this man when he was human -- he was not only brilliant, buit beautiful.

The Doctor stood up, extending a hand towards Arthur and smiling. "Hello. I believe I've just had the pleasure of being introduced to your sister. I'm Jack Harkness."

How easily that lie came to his lips! Was he getting too used to lying about who he was? He hated that -- though there were times when it was obviously necessary. He couldn't exactly introduce himself to the two of them as John Smith -- or as who he really was.

At the sound of his voice, Arthur had stopped in his tracks; his mouth had dropped open, and he stood there staring at the Doctor. Was it his imagination, or had those dark eyes filled with tears at the sight of him?

It was several moments before Arthur spoke, and when he did, he only uttered one word -- but it was enough to give the Doctor some insight into what he must be feeling.

"J-John?" The name hung in the air between them, waiting for a confirmation.

***

Next story in series - Lose Again.