Title: There For You
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Ten.5
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: lover100
Prompt: 64, Shield
Author's Note: The human version of the Doctor is being referred to as John Smith in this fic, since it's the Doctor's human alias and his clone needed a name.
Author's Note: Spoilers for Journey's End, somewhat. This is an completely alternate take on the ending of Season Four.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor, or his human clone. Please do not sue.

***

"What were you thinking, Jamie?" The Doctor stormed as he looked up at his lover across the console of the Tardis. "You could have been killed! Whatever possessed you to jump in front of me? You should have known better than to risk yourself like that!"

"What was I supposed to do, Doctor?" Jamie demanded, stepping back from the console and resting his fists on his narrow hips. "Stand there and let you get shot? Watch the man I love regenerate into someone who might not love me? I couldn't do that."

"If you're going to come up with that old argument of how I'm the original, you're the copy, and you're only human so therefore you're expendable --" the Doctor began, only to have Jamie override his words and cut him off, the other man's words tumbling out.

"I had to shield you. I had to keep you from being harmed. No, I don't think I'm less worthy of life than you, but I do think that in the long run, you are much more important in the universe than I am," Jamie continued breathlessly.

He kept going, even after the Doctor opened his mouth to speak again. "I was just lucky that man had a very bad aim. And that you were able to pull out the sonic screwdriver and use it to magnetise that gun. If you hadn't, we might both be dead now."

"Jamie, let me say something," the Doctor broke in, holding up a hand to stem his lover's flow of words. The Time Lord sighed softly, stepping to the other side of the console to stand directly in front of Jamie so that they were face to face, looking into each other's eyes.

"I appreciate you wanting to save my life, sweetheart," the Time Lord said softly, resting his hands on his lover's shoulders. "I would do the same for you. It's not that I don't believe you had the right to make that decision for yourself -- and for me."

He continued, his voice soft and quiet, but firm. "But Jamie, I don't want you to sacrifice yourself for me. I know that you feel I'm worth more to the world -- but using yourself as my shield isn't the answer. I don't want to lose you. Not like that. Not for a very, very long time."

"I know that, Doctor." Jamie's shoulders slumped, and he looked down at the ground, as though he could no longer make himself meet the Time Lord's steady gaze. "I knew you would be upset. But I didn't think about what I was doing. I just .... did it."

"I know, sweet love." The Doctor's voice was still soft, his tone gentle and loving. "It was a spur of the moment decision. If you'd been able to think about it, you might have chosen something different. I can understand why you reacted that way."

"You'd have done the same for me, wouldn't you?" Jamie asked, his voice very small. "If you had thought I was going to be shot, you would have thrown yourself in front of me and make yourself my shield. I wasn't wrong, Doctor. I'll never believe that I was."

He finally looked up again, his dark eyes meeting the Doctor's, almost challenging the Time Lord to say a word against his actions. "And if I had to do it again, I would. Even if I didn't know that I would come out of it alive. It would have been worth my sacrifice to save you."

"No, sweetheart, it wouldn't have been worth it. Not to me," the Doctor whispered, his emotions written on his face. "Do you realise what it would have done to me to see you die? You would have died in my arms, Jamie. I couldn't take that. I would have wanted to die, too."

"But you can't!" Jamie burst out, shaking his head vehemently. "You can't look at your life in that way, Doctor. I know how much I mean to you, but if I have to give my life in order to save yours, than I will. And I'll do it gladly. I won't let you die for me."

"Jamie, please, we've had this discussion before." The Doctor's voice was strained, weary. He raised a hand to his head, closing his eyes. "I don't want you to sacrifice yourself for me. Put yourself in my shoes for a moment. Think of how I would feel to be responsible for your death."

Those words stopped Jamie from speaking; he had opened his mouth to make another protest, but he closed it immediately and focused on the Time Lord's words. His face paled as he realized just what the Doctor was telling him, what the other man's feelings were.

"I know you don't want to be alone again, love," Jamie whispered, his voice choked. "And I don't want to leave you alone. I don't want to die. But if it's written in our destiny that I have to -- then I'd rather die saving you than in any other way."

"And I would rather have you die in my arms an old, old man, looking at me with love in your eyes, rather than dying because I was foolish enough to get myself into a situation that you had to risk yourself to save me from," the Doctor said, his eyes filling with tears.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," Jamie said, his voice contrite. "I know how much it means to you to be able to keep me safe. And I'm sorry that I cause you to worry about me sometimes. But you can't wrap me in cotton wool and protect me all the time, you know."

"I know," the Doctor murmured, sounding tired and defeated. "Just .... please promise me that you won't use yourself as a shield for me again, Jamie. I think it took at least twenty years off my life to see you leap in front of me like that and try to take the bullet."

"I wasn't thinking about my safety," Jamie confessed, looking shamefaced. "I know that you told me to stay behind you, but when I saw that man step out into the open with that gun aimed at you, I knew that I had to do something. It was all I could think of."

"I haven't thanked you yet for saving my life, have I?" the Doctor whispered, raising a hand to caress his lover's cheek. "Thank you, Jamie. I wish you hadn't had to put yourself in that kind of danger, but thank you for being willing to do it, love."

"I would do anything for you, Doctor. You have to know that," Jamie told him, his voice breaking on the words. "Please don't be angry with me. I know you don't want me to put myself in danger, but I did the only thing I could think of to do at that moment in time."

"Yes, love, I know you did," the Doctor murmured, his voice quiet and soothing. He reached for Jamie, pulling the other man into his arms and stroking his hair. "I'm not angry at you. Shaken that you would put yourself into the line of fire like that, but .... not angry."

"I'm not going to promise that I won't do anything like that again, Doctor," Jamie told him, his voice strong and steady. "I'm not going to just stand back and watch you be hurt and not try to do anything about it. If you think I could do that, then you don't know me at all."

The Doctor regarded him somberly for a moment, then nodded slowly. "I understand, Jamie. I couldn't do that, either. If I saw that you were going to be hurt or possibly even killed, I would throw myself into the path of danger to stop it from happening."

"I know that you don't want me to try and be your shield," Jamie continued, his voice quiet and controlled. "But I have to go against your wishes, Doctor. I can't just stand by and watch you put yourself in danger and not be right there along with you."

"I don't want you to be my shield, Jamie," the Doctor whispered, his dark gaze holding the other man's. "I just want you to be there beside me. And I don't want you to put yourself in danger for me. But if you feel that you have to do it, then I can't stop you."

"I don't want you to be angry at me for making that choice," Jamie said softly, his gaze riveted on the Time Lord's face, not looking away. "It's my choice to make, Doctor. I don't want to leave you alone again. I have no desire to be killed. But I can't watch you die, either."

Slowly, the Doctor nodded in capitulation, closing his eyes and heaving a deep sigh. "I understand, love," he murmured, "I'd feel the same way. And since you are me in so many ways, I can't blame you for feeling the same way that I do."

"I may not always be able to be your shield," Jamie whispered, resting his head against the Time Lord's shoulder. "But I want to be your strength, Doctor. And I want to stand right there beside you in whatever situation you go into. I want to be there for you."

"You already are," the Doctor told him, closing his eyes and resting his cheek against Jamie's hair. He was sure that they would have this argument again -- but for now, he was willing to let his lover have his way. At least until the next adventure that they might happen to stumble into.

***