Title: Love Will Tear Us Apart
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Josef Kostan/Mick St. John
Fandom: Moonlight
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,610
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Josef Kostan or Mick St. John, unfortunately. Please do not sue.***
"Do you think it's possible to love somebody too much?" Josef asked Mick as they lay in bed, wrapped in each other's arms. Mick frowned at the thought, turning it over in his mind before he answered the question slowly, his words hesitant.
"Yeah, I do," he murmured, his mind filled with thoughts of his own past obsession. "Look at Coraline and me. She loved me way too much -- well, that's not love. That's obsession, and it was scary. The worst thing is that I was the same way about her for a while."
"That scares me, Mick," Josef whispered, his voice sounding strangely subdued to Mick's ears. "And it worries me, too. I don't want us to end up like you and Coraline did. I don't want what we have to be a quick passion that'll burn out just as quickly."
Mick shook his head firmly, almost wanting to smile but not daring to do so. He knew that when Josef had an idea like this, it could take root in his mind and make him worry for days on end until it was dispelled, or replaced by yet another worry.
For someone who would live for all eternity, and had already survived for over four hundred years, he'd rarely known anyone who worried as much as Josef did. But then, he had a lot to worry about -- he had a huge business empire to run.
And, of course, their relationship. Mick knew that meant more to Josef than a hundred business ventures; the two of them were first and foremost in his boyfriend's life. Josef might try to cover that fact up at times, but he knew how much what they shared meant to this man.
"You worry too much," he told Josef softly, brushing the other man's hair back from his forehead. "There's no problem with us, Josef. We're not like a lot of couples who have a quick beginning and then get tired of each other and burn out. That won't happen to us."
"I have nightmares about that sometimes," Josef whispered, his voice hoarse and strained. "There's not a lot that can scare me, Mick. You know that. But those nightmares do. The thought of losing you scares me more than anything else ever could."
"It scares me too, but it's just a thought, Josef," Mick said, his voice strong and firm. "Nothing's going to happen to us. We've loved each other for too long." He bowed his head to place a gentle kiss on Josef's forehead, wishing he could make those dark thoughts disappear.
If he was honest with himself, he'd had the same thoughts, Mick told himself with an inwards sigh. He had seen relationships like theirs far too often -- relationships that began well, with both people head over heels for each other before the spark completely died out.
But they were different, weren't they? He and Josef were certainly nothing like what he'd had with his ex-wife. That spark had turned into a raging conflagration that had consumed them, and if he hadn't made the decision that he had, he might still be in that situation.
He and Josef certainly weren't like the people he knew who based their relationships on nothing more than a physical attraction. They weren't going to burn out; they weren't going to lose the love they had for each other. Their passion wasn't something quick and ephemeral.
Love wasn't going to tear them apart. Yes, they loved each other far more than any other couple he'd ever seen; their love wasn't just something they shared between them, but a part of their very hearts and souls. They were destined, meant to be.
Mick knew that other people had felt like that; he and Josef weren't the only ones. But they were special in that they, unlike so many other people who had loved this deeply, had eternity to share that love, nurture it, and let it grow even stronger.
"I worry sometimes that we love each other too much," Josef continued, his voice bringing Mick back from his thoughts into the present moment. "That love will tear us apart, and that we'll end up keeping each other at arm's length and losing what we have."
"Do you really think that's going to happen?" Mick chided his lover, placing a finger under Josef's chin and raising the other man's face to his own. "I don't. I know we love each other with a kind of passion that's beyond the norm, but that doesn't mean it'll burn out."
"I've never felt this way about anybody before," Josef confessed, heaving a sigh. "Not even Sarah. I thought I loved her, but that was nothing compared to what I feel for you. And I've always known that loving another person so much could be dangerous."
"Since when have you ever been one to run away from danger?" Mick asked with a soft laugh. "I can't believe I"m hearing this, Josef. I know you're scared of us losing each other, but that shouldn't make you cower in a corner and not face the future."
"I'm not cowering!" Josef answered hotly, shaking his head. "I'm not afraid of our future, Mick. I want to make sure that we have a future, and that we stay as strong as we are now. I don't want what we have to burn out and make us turn away from each other."
"Josef, that's never going to happen," Mick said, keeping his voice soft and gentle. "I know there've been a lot of instances that you've seen of love tearing people apart because they loved too much. Coraline and I were a good example of that. But you and I are different."
"I know we are -- at least, I want to believe that," Josef murmured, taking a deep breath. "But what if we aren't, Mick? What if one of us starts to tire of the other? What then? Do we just keep on like we are, and pretend that nothing's gone wrong?"
Mick shook his head firmly, a frown creasing his brow. "What are you saying, Josef? That you think I'll get tired of you, or vice versa? Or are you giving me some warning that you're already tired of me and you're ready for us to go back to just being friends?"
"No!" Josef's denial was explosive, the one word seeming to ring through the still quiet of their bedroom. "I'll never get tired of you, Mick. I want to spend eternity with you. I don't want anybody else, and I never will."
"Then what's all the worry about?" Mick asked softly, his blue gaze meeting Josef's dark eyes. "Josef, I love you. I'm not going to get tired of being with you. And I'm not going to fall in love with anybody else. There won't ever be anybody else. There's nobody for me but you."
"I've seen how love can tear people apart when they love too much," Josef told him, the worried look still on his face. "Remember, I saw everything you went through with Coraline. I guess that's why I'm glad what we feel for each other came out gradually, not all at once."
"Even though we were in love with each other for years and never admitted it," Mick said ruefully, shaking his head and sighing. "I should have realized long ago how I really felt, Josef. If I had, then I'd have saved myself a lot of problems, and you a lot of heartache."
"I always knew how I felt, even though I tried my best to cover it up," Josef said, a slight smile lifting the corners of his mouth. "I even tried to deny it to myself for a while, because I didn't want to let myself believe that I could be in love with a man."
"But neither of us could deny destiny for long, could we?" Mick said with a soft laugh. "Eventually, we had to admit how we felt. I just wish I hadn't taken so long to do it. I guess I was just scared, because I knew that I'd never felt so strongly about anybody before."
"And you knew that your relationships usually ended .... well, badly," Josef pointed out, that slight smile still on his lips. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. It's kind of unfair. But you know it's true. You were never one to be good with relationships."
"I am now," Mick reminded him, his blue eyes sparkling. "Josef, love isn't going to tear us apart. I don't want to think about things like that when I know they're not going to happen. I just want to contemplate having a future with a you. A long and happy one."
"We will have a happy life together," Josef told him, his voice sounding stronger and more confident now. "We're not going to burn out like so many other couples. What they have together isn't based on real love. We are."
Mick nodded, feeling relieved that the questions seemed to be pushed to the back of Josef's mind -- for now. They might come up again, but when they did, he'd counter them again. Love wasn't going to tear them apart. They would be together for eternity -- and beyond.***