Title: Better Every Time
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Josef Kostan/Mick St. John
Fandom: Moonlight
Rating: R
Word Count: 1,589
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Josef Kostan or Mick St. John, unfortunately. Please do not sue.***
Los Angeles, 2008
Mick sighed in satisfaction as Josef snuggled closer to him under the covers, feeling completely sated and happy. He'd been worried that Josef might have reservations about letting a man make love to him, but after the first few times, there had been no hesitation.
That was a testament to how much Josef loved and trusted him; that thought made a glow around his heart. He'd never expected to have anyone trust him that much, or love him to the extent where they would let him take the reins in every way.
But he should have known that Josef would be like that, Mick told himself. As long as he'd known this man, Josef had never done anything by halves. He lived his life with the intensity level as high as it could go, and Mick should have known that he would love in the same way.
"It gets better every time, doesn't it?" Josef murmured, his arms sliding around Mick's waist as he cuddled closer against his boyfriend. "I wouldn't have thought that could happen, but being with you surprises me in more ways than I can count."
"Does it?" Mick asked, a smile curving his lips. "How do I surprise you, sweetheart?" He himself was more than a little surprised at how easily the endearment came to his lips; he'd never thought about calling Josef something like that before.
Josef rolled over onto his stomach, propping his chin on his hands and giving Mick that insouciant smirk that he'd grown to love so much over the decades that he'd known this man. "Well, let me think," he said, furrowing his brow and pretending to concentrate.
Mick couldn't help laughing at the picture Josef presented, so at ease, all of the barriers that he usually surrounded himself with down. He'd rarely seen his lover like this; Josef wasn't one to leave himself unprotected in any way, at any time.
But he'd broken through those barriers; he'd touched a part of Josef in a way that no one else had, not even the Sarah when Josef had thought he was in love with her. He was the one who was lucky enough to have this man's love.
"First off, I never thought you'd want to give blow jobs," Josef murmured, not meeting Mick's eyes as he spoke. Mick was almost amused by the look that crossed his boyfriend's handsome features; could Josef possibly be embarrassed to talk about their sex life?
"I like giving you blow jobs," he answered, turning onto his side and propping his head on one hand. "I've never been all that crazy about them, but it's different with you. When you love somebody, you enjoy doing things that please them. And I know you like receiving."
No, he hadn't been wrong; Josef actually was blushing! Mick reached out to trace a gentle fingertip down his boyfriend's cheek, then leaned forward to kiss his parted lips, whispering against the softness of Josef's mouth as he reluctantly pulled away from the kiss.
"There's nothing to be embarrassed about," he said softly, his gaze meeting Josef's. "If you don't want to talk about our sex life, then that's okay. But I wouldn't have thought you of all people were shy about things like that. Especially not as well as you know me."
"I'm not shy about it," Josef denied, shaking his head -- a little too vehemently, Mick thought. "I just ...." Josef took a deep breath, then sighed and looked down. "I guess I worry about what you think of me. I'm not used to being with a guy, y'know."
"What do I think of you?" Mick smiled, raising his hand to play with the curling hair at the nape of Josef's neck. "I think you're beautiful, and sexy, and the most incredible lover I've ever had. I think you're the man I'm in love with, and that we're perfect for each other."
"I don't mean that." Josef sounded embarrassed again; his words were coming out slowly, hesitantly, as though he was choosing them carefully before he spoke. "I mean .... what do you think of me in bed? Do I live up to your expectations? Do I --"
Mick placed a finger against Josef's lips, stopping him before he could say anything more. "If you're going to ask me if you satisfy me in bed -- stop right there. Josef, you have to know the answer to that. You have to know how much I love being with you."
A pink flush rose in Josef's cheeks again; he rolled over onto his side, staring up at the ceiling as he exhaled what could only be a sigh of relief. "You don't know how much I needed to hear that. I was kind of worried that I didn't know what I was doing."
Mick shook his head, frowning slightly. "You've spent too much time with prostitutes," he admonished his boyfriend, moving closer to Josef. "There's no 'right' and 'wrong' way to make love, Josef. You just do what you feel. And you try to make the other person feel good."
Josef nodded, but Mick could still sense a hesitation, see doubts lurking in the depths of those beautiful dark eyes. "Josef, you don't have to worry about not pleasing me in bed. Just being the guy who you want to make love to you sends me over the moon."
"It's better for me every time we have sex," Josef told him, the blush in his cheeks heightening. "Maybe it's just because I was so nervous the first few times. Not that I didn't like it then," he hastened to add. "I was just .... well, honestly, kind of scared."
"I know you were, sweetheart. And I don't blame you, after what you'd been through the first time you were with another man," Mick told him, wanting to bite his tongue the second those words were out. The last thing he needed to do was to remind Josef of that night.
"That wasn't sex," Josef whispered, shaking his head and closing his eyes for a few moments. "That was lust, and anger, and violence. It had nothing to do with sex. But yeah .... it scarred me for a long time." He looked up at Mick, a slight smile on his lips. "You were the one who healed those scars."
Mick reached for Josef, pulling the other man into his arms and burying his face in Josef's shoulder, feeling emotions rise in him that he couldn't put a name to. Everything that he felt for this man seemed to be coming to the surface at once, so quickly that he couldn't control it all.
It got better for him every time they made love, too. And he was sure that it was because of the deep, enduring love he felt for Josef, the kind of love he'd never felt for anyone else, the kind of love that he would never have believed he was capable of feeling.
"Hey, Mick, you're smothering me," Josef told him, a hint of laughter in his voice. "Don't get all emotional on me, okay?" Mick could feel his boyfriend's hands stroking through his hair, then down his back; taking a deep breath, he raised his head to look at the other man.
"It's hard not to, when I think of how much I love you," Mick told him, moving one hand down Josef's back to cup one firm, rounded ass cheek in his palm. "Not just in the physical way, Josef. You're my whole heart and soul, do you know that?"
"And you're mine," Josef whispered into his ear, his warm breath tickling Mick's skin. "You have been ever since we first met over fifty years ago -- even though I didn't have the balls to admit it then. But I've always loved you, Mick. Right from the beginning."
"Would you ever have thought that things could be like this between us?" Mick asked, wondering just how Josef would answer that question. Had he thought that they would be together from the start, even though they hadn't seemed destined for each other at their initial meeting?
"I always knew we could be," Josef murmured, his gaze locking with Mick's. "And I always knew that we would be together. I might not have wanted to admit it at first because I was scared of the attraction, but I always knew in my heart that I was yours."
"I might have had my doubts -- but I always came back to you," Mick whispered, taking Josef's face between his hands and gazing into his lover's eyes. "And I'll never have any doubts again, Josef. You and I will only keep getting better with time. I promise you that."
With those words, he wrapped his arms around Josef, pulling the other man close against him and kissing him more fervently than before. He was determined to make every time they were together better than the last -- a personal goal that he had no doubts he'd be able to achieve.***