Title: Bring on the Night
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Josef Kostan/Mick St. John
Fandom: Moonlight
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,518
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Josef Kostan or Mick St. John, unfortunately. Please do not sue.***
He hated the sun. How he hated the sun.
Josef shuddered as he raised a hand to his head, pulling the brim of his hat further down. He was wearing sunglasses, but that still didn't block out the annoyingly bright rays that seemed to permeate his being and make his head pound unceasingly.
It was a good thing that the myths about vampires not being able to go out into the sun were just that, Josef thought wryly, shoving his hands into his pockets as he walked along. But that still didn't endear the daylight to him one little bit.
He'd been caught outside in the sun too many times for comfort, without recourse to the blood that he needed to make sure that he could maintain his strength. He'd come close to death from those burning rays more than once in the course of his life.
That wasn't going to happen here in the middle of the city, just walking a few blocks from his office to Mick's apartment, he told himself with a sigh. And anyway, the sun would be going down in an hour or so. It wasn't like he couldn't make it there safely.
But being out here still made him nervous. No, not nervous. It just irritated him to expose himself to the sunlight. It wouldn't kill him, obviously, but that didn't mean that it was his friend. It was just something that he put up with when he was obliged to do so.
Maybe he should get more used to being out in the sun, Josef reflected as he stopped at a corner for a street light. But something told him that he never would, after some of his past experiences. He would never see the sun as being his natural habitat.
No, he'd been a creature of the night for far too long. Maybe when Mick had lived as long as he had, his boyfriend would realize that the night was where they belonged, much more so than the day. After all, he hadn't lost his humanity so long ago.
Josef sighed at the thought, his mind going back to the night when he'd turned Mick -- and felt more guilty over that than he'd ever felt over anything in his long life. He felt even guiltier about taking Mick's humanity for the second time than he'd felt over what had happened to Sarah.
That was one of the reasons he didn't like the sun, he told himself wryly as he waited for the light to change and the sign to tell him that he could walk across the street. It was too bright, shining a light into all the dark corners of his life.
It illuminated all of his guilty feelings, giving them nowhere to hide.
No matter how much Mick assured him that he bore no blame for turning him, Josef couldn't help but feel that he shouldn't have done it -- that he should have waited and let Mick turn back into what he'd been destined to be on his own, without helping it along.
Not only had he felt guilty about Mick surrendering his humanity -- even though his boyfriend had done so willingly -- but he'd hated the fact that the man he loved was doing so for the sake of someone else, that hideous bitch who thought she owned him.
At least she was out of their lives now, Josef told himself as he stepped off the curb and hurried across the street when the light turned. She'd finally gotten it through her head that Mick belonged to him, and that she had no claim whatsoever to him.
The sun always brought out memories like this, when he'd rather push them back into a dark, secluded corner of his mind and not confront them. It was yet another reason that he disliked the brightness of the daylight, preferring to be out and about by the light of the moon.
He'd always liked watching the sunset, knowing that it would bring on the night. He could appreciate the spectacular beauty of the setting sun as much as anyone else -- but the important thing about it, to him, was that it heralded the approach of darkness.
The night was where he'd always felt he belonged, even before he'd become a vampire. It had always felt so natural to go walking at night -- which was how he'd been caught unawares by the gang of men who had raped him and left him to die on his last night as a human.
Josef winced at the thought, pushing it away as soon as it had entered his mind. He'd talked about that night with Mick -- but not with anyone else. He'd never told Sarah about the circumstances that had led to his turning, nor anyone else. Not even his closest friends over the centuries.
Mick had been the only person who he could open up to about that night, about the pain and fear that he'd felt. Because he trusted Mick more than he'd ever trusted anyone; Mick was his lifeline, the one person who he felt a kinship with that would last for all time.
He'd always been intended to be with Mick, Josef thought, turning the corner of the street that led to Mick's apartment building. All those decades ago when he'd been turned, all the long centuries of being alone .... they'd all been worth it for what he had now.
All those years of being lonely had been swept away in one heartbeat the first time Mick had kissed him. That swirling, all-consuming passion that had swept over him had been worth waiting for all those years, worth all the loneliness he'd had to go through.
He was never going to let go of that passion now that he'd finally found it.
Mick might not agree with him about the night being their province, and there might still be a part of him that yearned to have his humanity back, Josef mused as his footsteps slowed. But he knew as well as Josef did that there was no going back.
He'd made his decision on the night that he'd asked Josef to turn him. And even though they had both thought that he was doing it for a different reason, he'd really done it to be with Josef. He'd admitted as much later, though Josef had wondered about the true reason all along.
Did Mick miss the daylight? Sometimes he seemed to, Josef thought wryly, glancing up at the sky and instantly regretting it. He felt dazed, as though the sun had somehow sought him out and honed in on him, making him feel weak and a little disoriented.
Taking a deep breath, he blinked a few times, clearing his head. He wanted to bring on the night as quickly as it would come, get out of this relentless sun, feel that he was safe in his own domain again, without the light that almost felt as though it was attacking him.
He really shouldn't feel that way about the sun, Josef told himself sternly as he approached Mick's building. After all, his boyfriend liked going out in the daytime, and he had to find a point where the two of them could compromise with their likes and dislikes.
But the sun was one thing that he was never going to learn to like very much, even if Mick did. He could compromise to the point of going out in the daytime -- he'd already learned to do that -- but there would be places where he had to draw a line.
He'd go out into the daylight for Mick. He'd smile and enjoy the time with his boyfriend, even if he didn't particularly like being out in the sun. But he wasn't going to try to fit in with humans in the way that Mick did. And he wasn't going to deny what he was.
It was the main difference between them, Josef thought, pushing open the door to the lobby of the building that Mick made his home in and heading towards the bank of elevators. Mick embraced humanity, and tried to hold on to what was human within himself. He didn't.
For him, the night was where he belonged, he thought, stepping into the elevator as the doors opened smoothly to allow him entrance. Not this hot, bright daytime that shone a light on parts of himself and his life that he'd much prefer to hide.
He would always be more comfortable in the night. And he was sure that someday, Mick would be too.***