Title: Surrender Your Heart
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Josef Kostan/Mick St. John
Fandom: Moonlight
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,779
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Josef Kostan or Mick St. John, unfortunately. Please do not sue.

***

Los Angeles, 2008

Mick rolled over in bed, wrapping his arms around Josef and drawing him closer. He liked waking up after a refreshing sleep like this, with a beautiful man in his arms. And not just any man, but the man he loved more than life itself.

Now, if only Josef would say those words to him. He knew how Josef felt about him; the other man had said that he loved Mick, but those were words that didn't seem to come easily to his lips. And they were words that Mick needed to hear.

Josef hadn't surrendered his body easily -- but his heart had been even harder to conquer. Or had it? He'd already told Mick that he'd been in love with him for a very long time -- from the time they'd first met, actually. So had he surrendered his heart way back then?

He had, Mick knew. But Josef wasn't the kind of man who confirmed that he'd surrendered himself in words; he preferred to let his actions speak for themselves. Mick knew that he should be satisfied with that, rather than push for a verbal confirmation.

Why was it so important to him that Josef say those words so often, anyway? It wasn't as though his boyfriend didn't feel those emotions -- and Mick knew it. But something in him craved hearing the words, more so than he had from anyone else.

When Coraline had said those words, he hadn't really believed her -- not after she'd turned him. And when Beth had said them, he'd felt uneasy, afraid to hear them come from her lips. He'd known that she didn't mean them, even when he'd thought that he loved her.

But hearing those words from Josef meant everything to him. This was the one person who could say those words and make them real, who could touch Mick's heart and soul with just three syllables. And he needed that touch, the confirmation hearing those emotions expressed.

He needed to know that Josef surrendered fully to him, not only his body, but his heart. He needed to know that this man belonged to him, that when he did say the words, they weren't false. And he needed to know that this was someone who wouldn't leave.

That was the real reason behind his need to hear three words that should be given freely rather than asked for, wasn't it? Mick thought wryly. He needed those words so badly because he was afraid that if he didn't hear them, he'd be alone again.

He shouldn't be afraid of being alone. He'd had so many years of that already that a few more of them, in an eternity of living, shouldn't be so frightening. But the prospect of being alone now made him feel panicky, whereas it should have made him feel safe.

He'd been alone for so long before Beth had come along that he'd jumped at the chance to feel that there was a connection between himself and someone from his past. But he'd found out how dangerous thinking like that could be, and he'd almost lost his freedom.

If he hadn't been so stupidly blind, he would have realized a long time ago that Josef was the person he'd always had that kind of a connection with. It had always been Josef who was there for him, by his side, being his friend and mentor.

There had been times when they'd argued, but didn't everyone who cared for someone else? He had always thought that his own arguments were because of the myriad of ways Josef irritated him, the things that the other man did that he didn't agree with.

From the vantage point of years -- and from finally admitting to his true feelings -- he could see now that those arguments had sprung out of him because he was terrified of losing the other man, of not having Josef there in his life for him to turn to.

He'd never thought of himself as the kind of person who really needed anyone in his life. But he needed Josef Kostan. He needed to know that Josef loved him -- and he needed to hear the proof of that love aloud, coming from Josef's lips.

Mick sighed, running a gentle hand down the slender curve of his boyfriend's back to cup his ass. Josef would say those words when he wanted to say them; there was no need to push him. And besides, he knew all too well how stubborn Josef could be.

If Josef felt that he was being pushed into something, he wouldn't do it, even if he personally wanted to. He was the most stubborn man Mick had ever met -- and Mick had to admit that one of the things he admired about his boyfriend was his tenacity.

He shouldn't need to hear those words so badly. He should be able to revel in the fact that Josef showed his love by being here with him, by loving him in a thousand little ways that didn't require words. When he did say those words aloud, that would make them all the more precious.

Josef stirred beside him, Mick's touch apparently waking him. "What are you thinking about?" he asked sleepily, lifting his head from the pillow, his gaze seeming to cut right through Mick. "You look all serious and thoughtful. It must not be anything good."

Mick shook his head with a rueful smile, playfully squeezing his boyfriend's ass and pulling him closer. "I was thinking about you, actually," he murmured, his voice low and husky. "About how much I want you to surrender your heart to me, not just your body."

"You think I haven't?" Josef asked, raising his brows in question. "Do you seriously think I'd let you make love to my body if I hadn't surrendered my heart? They're not a package deal, but you've got them both. You might just be the only person who's had all of me."

"So I'm just making love to your body, not your heart?" Mick asked, wondering if he understood what Josef was trying to tell him. "I'd like to think that when I'm inside you and we're together physically, I'm touching your heart, not just your physical self."

"You know you are," Josef whispered, his voice barely above a whisper. "And you know how hard it is for me to admit that I love somebody, Mick. But I love you. I've loved you since I first met you, even though I never had the guts to say so then. There. Are you happy now?'

"Only if you really mean those words." Mick placed a finger beneath Josef's chin, raising the other man's face to his and gazing into those incredible eyes. "I don't want you to say anything you don't mean just because you think I want to hear it."

Josef sighed, shaking his head. "Of course I mean it, Mick. I wouldn't say those words to your face if they weren't truthful. I can lie to other people, but never to you. Never to the person I love. You've got me, Mick. Heart, body and soul. All of me. Forever."

"You have me too, babe." Mick's voice was choked; if vampires had the ability to cry, then he was sure that tears would have been coursing down his cheeks. "I'm sorry that I've ever doubted how you feel. I hope you can forgive me for that."

Josef nodded, sighing and resting his head against Mick's shoulder. "I guess it's hard to believe that anybody can care about you when you've been screwed over the way you have. I'm the same way, for a different reason. I've just been alone for too long."

"Not any more," Mick declared, wrapping his arms around Josef and rolling him over onto his back. "You're never going to be alone again." He looked down at the other man, a smile curving his lips. "You've wanted me for a long time. Now that you've finally got me, how does it feel?"

"Like I'm the luckiest man in the universe," Josef whispered, raising a hand to trace a gentle fingertip over Mick's lips. "I love you, Mick. I do. I know I don't say it all that often, but you know how hard those words are for me. The words don't come easily, but with you, the feelings do."

"I'm going to remember that," Mick told him with a soft sigh. "The next time I feel like I need to hear that you've surrendered your heart to me, I'll remember that you have. I don't want you to say those words unless you mean them, Josef."

"I might not say them so often, but I always feel them," Josef told him, taking Mick's hand and placing it on his chest. "My heart beats for you, Mick. It has ever since the first time we met. I surrendered my heart to you then, signed, sealed and delivered. And I don't ever want it back."

"You own my heart too, you know," Mick said, capturing Josef's hand in his own and carrying it to his lips, kissing his lover's fingertips. "I surrendered my heart to you at the same time -- even if I didn't realize it then. It just took me a while to understand how I really felt."

"Now that you do, I hope you never forget it," Josef told him, his gaze locked on Mick's. "I might not show it as openly as you do, but I need you as much as you need me, Mick. I don't want to be alone. And I don't want to lose another person I love."

Mick nodded, feeling a lump forming in his throat. Josef had been alone for a lot longer than he had -- and he had spent a much longer time hiding his true feelings. No wonder it was so hard for him to admit that he'd surrendered his heart and was in love.

He would never give Josef a reason to doubt his feelings, Mick thought as he moved his hands down his boyfriend's body, eliciting a moan of pleasure from Josef. Starting here and now, he was going to make sure that Josef knew how he felt -- both in words and in actions.

***