Title: Time After Time
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Josef Kostan/Mick St. John
Fandom: Moonlight
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,496
Author's Note: Continuation of All Those Years Ago.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Josef Kostan or Mick St. John, unfortunately. Please do not sue.

***

Mick couldn't mistake the flash of fear that crossed Josef's face when he found himself pinned down; he quickly loosened his grip on the other man's wrists, cursing himself for having forgotten that it didn't take much to bring that fear to the surface.

"Sorry," he whispered, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to Josef's lips. "You know I'd never hurt you, don't you?" he asked, wishing for must have been at least the millionth time that he could somehow delete those horrible memories from Josef's mind.

Josef nodded, but Mick could see the flash of hesitation. He couldn't help feeling a bit irritated; as much as he loved this man, it was hard to believe that Josef could still have any doubts about his feelings, or be afraid of him in any way.

He had to hold back a sigh; it wasn't that Josef was afraid of him. It was that the other man had been through so much during his four hundred years of life as a vampire that he had a hard time letting go of wariness and replacing it with trust.

"I'm the one who should be sorry," Josef whispered, his voice still husky. "I know you're not going to hurt me. I just get weird when anybody holds me down. The memories come back and ...." His voice trailed off, and he averted his gaze from Mick's.

"I know, babe." Mick trailed gentle fingertips through Josef's hair, wishing he hadn't been so stupid. He should have thought about how Josef would associate what he was doing with the night he'd been turned. It wouldn't be the first time he'd had flashbacks.

"Besides, I've got a few hundred years on you," Josef told him, obviously trying to lighten the somber mood. "I could get away from you pretty easily if I tried, couldn't I?" He flashed Mick that irrepressible grin, the smile that had melted Mick's heart from the first time they'd met.

For just a moment, Mick thought back to that first meeting, over fifty years ago. He hadn't realized it then, but that smile had captivated him. He'd thought that he was watching the women in the room that night, but he hadn't been. He'd been focused on Josef.

Time after time, his gaze had come back to the other man, watching him as he circulated through the room, talking to both men and women, giving them that charming smile, that smile that Mick had wanted to hold close against his heart.

He hadn't wanted to let himself realize it at the time, but his heart had been lost from that night. He had fallen in love with Josef Kostan, even if his stubborn mind had refused to admit that he could be attracted to another man, much less fall in love.

"You probably could," he admitted, smiling down at his lover. "But I hope you wouldn't want to." Mick leaned forward, his lips meeting Josef's again, slowly slipping his tongue into the other man's mouth to savor the kiss fully.

Josef's arms slid around his shoulders, pulling him down into an embrace that was deceptively gentle. Mick knew what kind of strength this man had -- his body might look slender and almost breakable, but Josef's fragile appearance belied the vampiric power he possessed.

"Forgive me," Josef whispered into his ear. "I know I can be a pain in the ass sometimes. Some things just bring back memories that I'd rather keep buried. Sometimes I can forget them -- but more often than not, they jump right into my mind."

It always surprised Mick when Josef said things like that. The other man came off as being so calm and in control of everything around him most of the time -- but when they were in bed together, the facade dropped, and a different Josef presented himself.

That was the side that he'd fallen in love with -- the emotional, vulnerable man who only allowed himself to come to the surface when he was alone with someone he trusted. Mick was sure that Josef hadn't done that with anyone since .... well, Mick had known him.

"There's nothing to forgive." Mick pulled back slightly, reaching out to cup Josef's cheek. "Considering that you've carried around what happened to you on the night you were turned for over four hundred years, it'll take some time for you to be completely comfortable."

"It's not that I don't trust you," Josef told him, his intense gaze fixing on Mick's face. "I do. I wouldn't have asked you to be my lover if I didn't. I wouldn't have told you about that night. But .... sometimes trust can only take you so far."

"I understand," Mick told him, keeping his voice soft and gentle. "Believe me, Josef, I do. I know how it feels to know your trust has been betrayed. I've been there. And I'd never do that to you. I'd never hurt you like that -- or in any other way, either."

"I still shouldn't have let myself react like that," Josef said with a sigh. "I'm sorry, Mick. It's just really hard for me to get past that night, even though it happened over four hundred years ago. Bear with me, okay? It's not like I'm going to turn you away."

Mick laughed, moving his hands from Josef's shoulders down his body to rest on his hips. "I know you wouldn't do that, babe. You enjoy me too much. And if you did, then you'd be losing a lot more than a lover. You'd be losing a best friend."

"I know," Josef whispered, his voice barely audible. "I couldn't bear that. If I lost you, I'd be completely alone. I might have other people around me, but none of them would be somebody I trust the way I trust you. Nobody can ever replace you."

Mick had to swallow hard to speak past the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. "You're never going to lose me," he said, keeping his voice steady. "I'll always be here for you. No way am I giving you up, not after everything we've been through together."

"Should we pick up where we left off when I had my little freakout?" Josef raised his brows in question, giving Mick that insouciant grin that he'd grown to love. "As long as you don't try to hold me down, I'm okay. We were just getting to the good part, weren't we?"

"Are you sure?" Mick looked down at his lover, concern in his eyes. The last thing he wanted was for Josef to feel that he was somehow obligated to let Mick make love to him; he didn't want his lover to feel as though he was being pushed into anything.

But Josef nodded up at him, holding out his arms. "You wouldn't pass up the chance to make me happy, would you, lover?" he asked, his voice soft and seductive. "I woke up wanting you. And from the look on your face, I'm pretty sure you want me, too."

"I want you all the time," Mick murmured, moving his hand down Josef's thighs and gently spreading his legs. Truth be told, he was aching to make love to Josef, to join their bodies together and lose himself in this man. "I never stop wanting you."

"Forgive me for freaking out?" Josef whispered, his gaze once again meeting Mick's. "It's just a kind of .... automatic reaction to being held down, I guess. It just startled me, that's all. You know I want you, Mick. And you know how I feel about you."

"I know, babe. I know," Mick whispered, his gaze not wavering from Josef's face. "You might not say it much, but I know you love me. Just like I love you. I've never doubted that, not even when we're arguing and you act like you want me out of your life."

"I never want you out of my life," Josef told him, his voice strong and firm. "I've wanted you in my life ever since the first time I saw you. And lucky me -- I got you." His voice dropped on the last words, his tone husky and seductive again.

"You certainly do have me," Mick told him, wrapping his arms around Josef and stretching his body out on top of the other man. "And you always will." Lowering his lips to Josef's for another heady kiss, Mick closed his eyes, giving himself up to the pleasure of being with the man he loved.

***