Title: Good Water Omens
Author: viridian_magpie
Pairing: gen
Fandom: Good Omens
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Good Omens belongs to the geniuses known as Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman.
Summary: Crowley apologises to Aziraphale. And the demon and the angel wouldn?t be who they are if this did not have an impact. (Prequel to The Twelve Commandments).***
Deep down, in the farthest recesses of the sea sits a man. A blonde man with blue eyes that seem wiser than they should be in the face of one so young. Or is he? Some careful inspection and one can see (1) that this is, in fact, not a young man. No, it's an angel, a divine being, a heavenly messenger, a . . . well, you get the point.
-----------------------
(1) that is, anyone with a sense for the spiritual/divine (2)
(2) or with enough common sense to figure out that anyone who's been sitting underwater for a couple of hours and is still live cannot possibly be human
-----------------------
Yet, one wonders, what is this angel doing there? Is he feeding fish? Or waiting to save the old fisherman in the little boat above him? He might fall into the waters, after all. Or perhaps the angel is meditating, or even getting into contact with his heavenly employer? What a delightful mystery! But we will never be able to solve it if we do not cheat a little bit and take a tiny peek inside his mind…
Oh.
Well, yes. He could, of course, also be doing that. And considering that this angel here is Aziraphale, it should not surprise us that he is –
"Bla-bli-bla-blale?" (Aziraphale)
was hiding from Crowley.
"Blo bla-blay!" (Go away)
Crowley stares at the bubbles rising from Aziraphale's mouth and swallows. Normally, the angel is as sweet as a little lamb but when something does manage to set him off, things turn ugly.
"Bloo." (Shoo).
Crowley is sure that the bubbles are steaming but that isn't possible, right? He shakes himself and scowls. He is a demon. Demons fear nothing (3).
----------------------
(3) except Satan, of course (4)
(4) well, and perhaps a wrathful angel (5)
(5) um, and… oh, stop it already!
----------------------
He sighs and tries again.
"Bla-bli-… blo, blew blib!" (Azi-… oh, screw this)
Several minutes later the water has parted and Crowley stands dripping (but finally able to speak properly) before and equally wet and dripping Aziraphale. The demon takes a deep breath.
"Look, I – I didn't mean it, okay? I – you know, I – what I mean is… well, bugger this for a lark. I'm sorry, okay? Are you satisfied now?"
He turns and stalks off. He really is no good at this.
Aziraphale, meanwhile, stands transfixed in between the walls of water. Did Crowley just really… apologise? The angel can't wrap his mind around it. It can't be. Crowley is a demon and…
"Um, excuse me?"
"Hm?"
"Er, could you, maybe, like, step out of the way? We're, sort of, in a hurry."
The angel turns around and blinks. What are all these people doing here?
"You know, it's just because the Pharao's men are right behind us and, um…"
"Oh, sorry."
"Dude (6), it's alright. Nice meeting you, by the way. See you."
"Er, you too. Bye."
----------------
(6) Back then, Moses was slightly put out because nobody had bothered to invent surfing, yet(7). C'mon, can't you just imagine those waves?
(7) or Hawaiian shirts, for that matter
----------------
When the last straggler has passed him ("Anyone else coming? No? Okay then."), Aziraphale undoes the damage and takes off to look for Crowley. After all, it isn't every day that the demon apologises and he should tell him that he forgives him.
Meanwhile, some miles away.
"Oi, did you see that?"
"What?"
"Some flying thing. Looked like an…oh, sh- blib!" (8)
----------------
(8) unlike Moses, the pharao (and his men, especially) didn't mind the lack of surf boards so much. What they did mind was that nobody had bothered to invent submarines yet.
***
Next story in series - The Twelve Commandments.