Title: Wish You Were Here
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Josef Kostan/Mick St. John
Fandom: Moonlight
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,808
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Josef Kostan or Mick St. John, unfortunately. Please do not sue.

***

Los Angeles, 2008

Josef sank back against the pillows of his bed, looking out of the window for what felt like the hundredth time that night and wishing that Mick was here with him. He hated the nights when his boyfriend didn't spend the night at his penthouse.

Wincing, he placed his hand on his chest, over the area where Martan had staked him. The wound almost felt as though it was still fresh, even though it was long healed. How long ago had that been? Only a few months, but it felt as though it had only happened yesterday.

So much had happened since then, so much that had changed his life forever. He was with Mick now; the relationship with Sarah that had caused him so much grief was long over. She was dead. He'd stopped trying to hold on to her. He'd finally let that part of his life go for good.

Besides, if he was honest with himself, Mick meant more to him than Sarah ever had. He had tried to deny that fact for so long that he'd almost let himself believe it, even though he knew the patent untruth of what he was attempting to tell himself.

When had he finally realized that he was in love with Mick and given himself over to that realization? It had been a gradual awakening, really. He'd wanted Mick from the first time he'd seen the other man, but wanting and loving were two vastly different things.

It had been so hard for him to admit that he actually wanted another man, Josef thought with a sigh, closing his eyes as he settled more comfortably against the pillows. After what had been done to him on the night he'd been turned, desiring another male didn't seem like an option for him.

So when that desire had grabbed him by the throat and shaken his world to its foundations, he'd been shocked at first -- and even a little bit afraid. But he'd also been exhilarated, feeling that he'd finally broken free of a curse that had held him under its spell for far too long.

His entire world had changed when he'd admitted that he was in love with Mick. Colors had looked brighter; everyone around him had somehow looked happier, as though he was seeing their real faces for the first time. The entire universe seemed transformed, somehow.

Had he felt that way when he'd fallen in love with Sarah? No, not at all. He'd been forced to admit that on the night when he'd first sat down and done some serious soul-searching about his feelings for Mick. Sarah had never had half the effect on him that Mick did.

Yes, he'd loved her. He would never deny that. She had been his first real love, the first person he'd ever given his heart to. But first loves were always doomed to fail; and she hadn't been strong enough to live the life that he did, no matter how much he'd wanted her to be.

The thought had occurred to him more and more often lately, since her death, that the real reason she hadn't been able to cross over into a vampiric existence was because she had wanted it for all of the wrong reasons. For selfish reasons, rather than the ones she'd claimed.

He had long thought that her reasons for wanting to become what he was were different than those she'd actually told him -- that she had wanted eternal life, pure and simple. It hadn't been so much that she wanted to be with him forever as that she had wanted to live forever.

None of that mattered now, Josef told himself, pushing the thought of his first love out of his mind and forming a mental picture of the man he was with now, the man who was his destiny, the man who he would spend eternity with.

Mick was nothing like Sarah. He was stronger in every way -- and even though he had wanted Josef to turn him for what Josef had considered the wrong reasons, he had no regrets for having helped Mick come back to the world that they now shared.

How could he have regrets? If Mick had stayed in the human world, then Josef would have had to watch him age and die -- and he could very well have had to watch him grow old and die with someone else, all the while wanting Mick to be with him.

Was his love for Mick a selfish reason for having been ridiculously glad that the other man had come to him to be turned for a second time? He didn't care if it was; the way he saw it, everything had worked out just as it should in the end.

And Mick was happy -- at least Josef thought he was. He couldn't doubt that the man he loved was happy when Mick smiled at him, or gazed into his eyes as they were making love. He couldn't let himself doubt that happiness at those moments; it would have been too heartbreaking.

But what if Mick wasn't happy? A cold dread seemed to seize his heart within cold, grasping fingers, squeezing it in his chest until he cried out, not realizing for several long moments that the single word he'd uttered had been Mick's name.

What if loving him wasn't enough? Mick might not regret having been turned again yet, but there could come a day when he would resent Josef for doing so. If that day ever came .... then all of the happiness he'd felt ever since the first kiss they'd shared would crumble to dust.

He couldn't lose Mick. He couldn't. If he did, then he might as well be dead. He'd already lost too many people in his life -- losing the one who he loved above all others would make this world not worth living in. He couldn't see himself going on without Mick.

He'd had such an empty existence before Mick had come into his life -- and there had been times since he'd first known Mick when he'd wondered if it wouldn't be easier to end it, to give up on life and let himself sink into the depths of oblivion.

Would he be able to do that, if it came down to a question of losing Mick and having to decide if he wanted to go on? He'd thought that he had wanted to die when he'd lost Sarah, but he knew that the pain of having Mick walk out of his life would be invariably worse.

Mick wasn't going to leave him, Josef told himself firmly, wrapping the knowledge of his boyfriend's love around him like a security blanket. Mick loved him. Mick had told him more times than he could possibly remember that Josef was his destiny, that they would be together forever.

He believed that. He had to believe it. The mere thought of losing Mick was more than his heart could bear; just the thought of not having the man he loved in his life any longer, of gong through long empty centuries alone, made him want to cry.

Josef's lips twisted into a wry smile at the thought. He hadn't been able to cry for Sarah, any more than he could cry for Mick if the two of them were parted. There wouldn't be enough tears in the world to express how he would feel if he were to lose his lover.

He'd been alone for so many centuries before Mick -- long, empty centuries that he never wanted to relive. But that emptines had been nothing compared to what he would feel if Mick St. John was taken from him. He wouldn't have a life without Mick.

If only Mick was here tonight, he thought with another sigh. But the other man had told him that he had an important case that required nighttime surveillance -- and Josef had promised that he would never try to interfere with Mick's work, so they were spending a night apart.

Did it matter if they weren't together every night? No, not really, Josef told himself, settling down under the covers and turning over onto his side. He didn't need to be in Mick's arms to know that he was loved. He had that assurance even when the two of them weren't side by side.

A tap on his bedroom window drew his attention; sitting bolt upright in bed, Josef felt the short hairs on the back of his neck rise, his fangs starting to come out before he realized who was standing there, half-hidden by the shadows cast by the clouds scudding across the moon.

Mick. Mick was standing on the balcony, one hand raised to tap at the window to get his attention. His lover was here, as though he'd somehow been drawn to him by the mere fact that Josef had been thinking about him and wishing they were with each other.

Had those strong emotions brought him here? Josef didn't know -- or care. All that mattered was that the man he loved was here with him, right outside his window. Throwing the covers back, he slid out of bed and padded naked to the sliding glass doors, unlocking them and letting Mick in.

His boyfriend stepped inside and wrapped his arms around Josef's nude body, pulling him close. "I could feel you," he whispered, his warm breath ruffling Josef's hair. "You were thinking about me. You were scared of losing me. I had to come to you."

Josef's eyes widened in surprise; had Mick somehow known that those same thoughts had just flashed through his own mind? "I'm glad you did," he managed to whisper, raising his face to Mick's to gaze into his lover's eyes. "I wished you were here."

"I know," Mick whispered, threading his fingers through Josef's hair. "I just felt something pulling me to you. The surveillance can wait." He stepped back, raising a brow, his gaze sweeping down Josef's body. "The only thing I want to survey is you. Preferably naked."

"Your wish is my command," Josef murmured, stepping back from his boyfriend and holding out his arms to Mick. As the other man smiled and began to shrug his way out of his coat, Josef sank down on the bed, holding out his arms with a smile and waiting for his lover to join him.

***