Title: The check up
Author: Goldielocks81
Pairing: gen
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: G
Note: This is my first try on a "Supernatural" fanfic and I haven't written any fanfic for a couple of years. So it might be really bad.
Summary: Takes place before the Pilot. Dean goes to Stanford to check up on his brother Sam.


Even though he was in the shadows Dean put on his sunglasses as he sat down on a bench at the outside of the park. He was far enough away to not be spotted by his little brother Sam but still close enough that he could hear Sam's laughter as the blonde, pretty girl he was sitting with told him something funny. The girl, Dean had found out by doing some on campus research, was Sam's girlfriend Jessica.

Sam threw his head back and let out another guffaw. Dean could feel his own lips twitch into a smile at the sight. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen his brother so happy, if ever. It hurt not being able to be there and experience it up close. He would have loved to know what the blonde beauty had whispered into Sam's ear that would have made him laugh so hard. Even more he would have wanted to be able to make Sam laugh like that himself. But that wasn't very likely to happen. If he left his hideout and went up to them he knew just what would happen. Sam's eyes would grow dark, that smile would be wiped out in an instant and those lips of his lips would press into a thin line. Dean knew he wasn't going to be welcomed with open arms anytime soon and it was his own fault.

When Sam had told him about the plans of leaving the family business to go on to college and read pre-law Dean had immediately tried to talk him out of it. Now after many lonely nights of pondering Dean now could understand why Sam had grown so cold and angry during their conversation. Sam had come to his brother for understanding and support before he had to give the news to their disapproving father but Dean hadn't exactly offered those things. In fact during Sam's fight with their dad Dean hadn't spoken a word. He had only sat there quietly on a chair, being a witness to the harsh words that had been thrown about. It had broken his heart to see his family get so torn apart. He still remembered how he had held his breath when Dad had ended the fight with telling Sam he wasn't welcome back if he left them now. He knew that was no way to make his little brother change his mind. Dad should have known. Instead he had made him leave even quicker.

Sam had stood there silently in the living room, staring into space as their father stormed out of the house, slamming the door shut behind him. Took only a few seconds before they could hear the car leaving the driveway and speeding away into the night. Dean had seen tears sparkle in his brother's sad and tired eyes in the soft light from the lamp on the wall behind him.

"So you're really leaving, Sammy." Dean had broken the silence, already knowing the answer.

"I have to, Dean. I can't take any more of this." Sam's voice was hoarse. He had been staring at a spot above Dean's head when he spoke but now turned his eyes to meet Dean's. Dean had nodded silently and watched Sam disappear up the staircase. It didn't take long before the sound of his footsteps returned and he had come back down the stairs again. Dean had frozen when he had seen the backpack.

"You can't leave now. It's the middle of the night and school doesn't even start for a couple of weeks." Dean had protested; panic and fear making painful knots in his stomach.

"I better leave. I don't think Dad expect me to be here when he comes back."

"You shouldn't let it end like this. Dad..."

"Dad will never change his mind about this and neither will I." Sam had interrupted him, and put down his backpack on the ground. He had walked a few steps up to Dean and shrugged. "Well, I guess this is it."

Dean had reluctantly gotten up from his chair. It had felt like his knees wouldn't cooperate with him but he had walked up to Sam and given him a long-lasting hug. He didn't want to say goodbye but he had no choice.

"Dean, please, I can't breathe."

"Sorry." Dean had reluctantly let go.

"That's ok. See ya around, bro." Sam had hugged Dean's shoulder and stepped away to shrug on his backpack and then continued walking towards the hallway.

"Hey, send some hot college babes my way."

Sam had rolled his eyes but turned back to give him a smile. "Sure. Will do."

Then in a few moments he was out the door and Dean was left alone in their rented two-story house. It immediately had struck him how silent and empty the house had felt. He had walked into the kitchen stiffly as if he had just returned from a big fight and was all soar. But the only thing that really was hurting him was his heart and it felt a whole lot worse than a black eye and a couple of broken ribs. Dean could still remember what tune the radio had played when he had switched it on to fight away some of the loneliness. It had been Whitesnake's "Here I go". He had pumped up the volume, grabbed the whiskey he had hidden in one of the cupboards and sat down at the kitchen table, not even bothering to turn on the lights. He had sat there in the dark, taken a long swig of the whiskey and then wiped away the tears burning his eyes with his sleeve.

After all these years following Dean like a shadow Sam hadn't needed him anymore. It had made everything feel empty and meaningless. Sam was not only his little brother but the only real friend Dean got, since he never had taken the time for such luxury as making friends.

Come to think of it, it was probably because of the longing after having someone to talk to that he had opened up to Cassie, a college student he had met on one of his many journeys through the country. He had dated her for a couple of weeks while he and Dad worked on a case. Of course telling her about everything had been a mistake, she hadn't understood his way of life, and he was ashamed he had broken the family rule so easily and thoughtlessly. Thankfully Dad didn't know. Disappointing Dad wasn't something he wanted to do ever again.

Dean snapped out of his walk down memory lane and decided he had gotten what he wanted from the visit. Sam was even more than safe, he looked happy.

Dean took one last look at his brother then rose to walk away from the bench and down the hill towards the street. A bit further down the street he had parked his car, a black Impala, which was a gift from Dad.

Dean's cell phone suddenly vibrated in the pocket to his jeans and he gave a start and rolled his eyes at himself for being so jumpy. He had turned his cell phone to vibrating instead of the ringing tone since he was sure Sam would remember it. It was possible Sam wouldn't have reacted if he had heard it but better safe than sorry. Dean pulled up his phone and saw that it was Dad calling.

"Hey, Dad."

"Where are you, Dean?"

Dean couldn't exactly tell the truth because his Dad didn't know about his check ups on Sam. Dean tried to come up with a good lie. Usually those came flowing to him naturally but he wasn't used to lying to his dad. It felt like a death sin.

"I'm at some girl's place." Dean knew his father didn't like his oldest son having causal affairs basically everywhere they went but it was better than saying he was on Sam's campus.

"Dean..." There was something about his father's tone that wasn't right. Dean could clearly hear that his father was upset with him. He just didn't understand why. "Look around."

"What?" Dean spun around and there his father stood in flesh, glaring at him. John Winchester turned off his cell phone and put it back into his pocket. He crossed his arms and looked intently at Dean. "And how do you explain this, son?"

Dean could feel his cheeks getting heated of embarrassment. He nervously put away his own cell phone. "I didn't think you were even in the state."

His father kept on staring him down.

"Look, dad, I'm sorry I lied, alright. I just figured you wouldn't like it if you knew I was here."

John sighed and the harshness disappeared from his face for a moment. "I know you worry about your brother, Dean. So do I."

"Guess that's why you're here then." Dean grinned.

"Yeah but don't you tell your brother."

"That won't be an issue. We're not...really talking right now." Dean admitted.

"I thought you ended things on good terms." John searched his son's face for clues. Dean just shrugged. He had talked with Sam on the phone a couple of times since Sam began to go to college but he could always hear on his brother's voice that he didn't want to hear about the life he had left behind and his brother and father were still living. And if Sam wanted to distance himself from that life it meant becoming estranged with his family as well.

"I hate this." Dean exclaimed; kicking an empty soda can that laid on the lawn, to ease some of his frustration.

"I know but it was his choice." John's voice had become icy once again.

'Maybe it was the only choice he felt he had' Dean wanted to say but he knew better. It was too late to stand up for his brother anyway. Plus Sam wasn't even here to appreciate it and Dean wasn't going to get on Dad's bad side for nothing.

"We have another job."

"Oh." Dean was itching for something to kill. "So what are we hunting?"

"I'll tell you later. I have to get some supplies. Just hang around in town till night fall and I'll give you a call and give you all the information you need."

"Seriously, Dad, throw me a bone here. At least tell me where we're going." Dean begged. He was starting to get tired of always being kept in the dark until the last minute.

He followed his dad down the street to where the Impala was parked. Dean got into the driver's seat and his dad was going to slam the car door shut behind him but then looked down at his son. Dean looked up, waiting.

"Don't lie to me again, son." There it was; the warning.

Dean watched his father walk away, disappearing around the corner.

"Nicely done, Dean." He told himself sarcastically, but brightened up as he saw some sorority girls walking down the street. "No, Sam, not jealous at you at all." He muttered as he drove away, looking at the girls in the rear view mirror. He hoped the town had something good to offer before he got the call. Even if it calmed him to know Sam was fine, seeing him hadn't made him feel better. In fact driving away, he felt more alone than ever. Nothing could replace the comfort he felt when his brother was around.