Title: Guide To The Proper Care Of Your '67 Chevy Impala
By: Damerel
Pairing: gen
Rating: PG
Series: 1) The Proper Care And Feeding Of Your Dean Winchester
Summary: This classic car is best enjoyed in combination with Dean Winchester and Sam Winchester, with John Winchester an optional extra, all available from WinchestersRUs.


Congratulations on your acquisition of a '67 Chevy Impala! This classic car is best enjoyed in combination with Dean Winchester and Sam Winchester (John Winchester an optional extra), all available from Winchesters-R-Us.

Please note: we cannot guarantee delivery of John Winchester to any particular schedule. If you wish to order a John Winchester, please allow plenty of time for delivery and be prepared to make several telephone calls to track his progress.

To ensure you gain maximum enjoyment from your new Impala, please familiarise yourself with the guidelines below.

1. Your Impala will look its very best if waxed regularly. Repeated testing has shown that the optimum result is obtained if this waxing is carried out in hot weather by your Dean Winchester, while shirtless.

2. Prior to waxing, your Impala will need washing. Again, thorough testing by our dedicated researchers has shown that washing is best carried out by your Sam Winchester and your Dean Winchester applying thick foamy lather to your bodywork with suitable attention and care.

3. The doors creak. It's a feature.

4. Do not under any circumstances remove the dream-catcher from the trunk. Cars dream too, you know.

5. Driver picks the music. Shotgun shuts his cakehole.

6. In the unlikely event that your Impala becomes possessed by vengeful spirits, keeping the keys with you will not be sufficient to deter them. Practice jumping off bridges just in case.

7. The back seat's big for a reason. Your Dean Winchester can explain further.

8. Watch your Impala carefully for signs of rust. Not doing so may result in censure from your John Winchester, which will upset your Dean Winchester.

9. Your Dean Winchester always drives.

10. Unless your Sam Winchester does.

11. Your Impala may not play well with semis. It's wisest to avoid them.


Next story in series - The Proper Care And Feeding Of Your John Winchester.