Title: Little White Pills
By: tvdinnersrule
Pairing: gen
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: overdose
Note: This is a crazy oneshot that I did today, I thought of the idea because I was popping pain pills all day lol. The rest just came out of my...freaky head. So yea here it is.
Summary: Sam makes a mistake that almost costs him everything. Oneshot.


Sam is laying on the queen sized motel bed with his eyes closed. He reaches his hand out to grab the brown bottle of pills, and knocks over the open water bottle, not even bothering to pick it up as it starts to soak into the carpet. Feeling around the table with his hands, he finds another water bottle and swallows the two white pills. He sighs and turns over on his side to go to sleep. Sam has been having these really bad migraines the last few weeks and hasn't been able to do much beside lay around, he hasn't even been able to sleep. He thinks its just from the stress that has suddenly went away after finally seeing his father back in Chicago. He had finally got to talk to him, but it wasn't long enough. There was so many things he wanted to ask and tell his father. Dean told him that the headaches will go away after a few days, but they just seem to get worse. They haven't really been on a gig since there father. Dean had just been stopping at every town they encounter. They have a lot of money saved, since Dean has been bored he goes out every night and plays poker or a game of pool. He comes back late at night, and Sam is laying in the same spot on the bed with his eyes closed but not sleeping. He tells Sam he needs to eat something, anything. Sam has noticed that he is a bit skinny, when his brother goes out he gets up and eats, just a little. His appetite isn't that big when his head is throbbing.

Sam lays there in the pitch black room with his eyes closed, face looking up. He tries to think of something, anything besides the killer headache he has. He thinks of times when he and dean was little. Times when they would just do normal kid things like play at the park. The slide. He always loved going on the tallest slides. Dean would be at the bottom of it, ready to catch him. Then he thought about Jessica, Jess and him had such good times together. They would stay in the apartment on weekends and eat junk food while watching movies all night.

Thinking of something else still didn't help the headache, so he would get up and walk very slowly into the bathroom he would keep the light off. He turns on the shower to cold, take off all his clothes except his boxers and just lay in the tub for hours. Dean knew he was in pain and let him stay in there. He would open the door a crack and peek inside just to make sure he was alright. That never helped much for his head either. He would get out of the ice bath and go back into the room, grab two more white pills and swallow them down with water. he always took them, even knowing they didn't work. He didn't even remember how many hours he'd wait between each dosage, just take them when he thought he needed them.

After they had went to another town they started up the gigs again. The headaches never left, but he was starting to ignore them anyway he knew that he had to be ready to watch his brothers back on a hunt. He would pop two white pills into his mouth swallow them down and be ready to go.Then after they had gotten back he would take to more and go out as usual. They would go out to eat at the diners, and then they would sometimes go to the town library's and do research on whatever it was that they were trying to destroy.

Sam had stopped complaining about the headaches, but they were still there, barely. He kept the bottle of little white pills in his jacket pocket, just in case he needed them, he always did. His routine was always the same. Wake up take two pills, then go on with the day. But then it changed, very slowly, but it did change. He would start taking them more and more. He didn't even notice that the pain had went away, he just always took them, like a precaution. Just in case it did come back. Dean had never noticed, well he did but Sam would tell him that it was his head. Dean would frown, but wouldn't say anything.

Until one day he did, and Sam was shocked to hear his big brother, his protector, say that he was an addict. He told Sam that he needed to stop taking the pills Sam would just say that he was in pain and he needed them. Dean tried hiding them at first, but Sam would trash the whole room, and the inside of the car. He would break down and cry like a little boy, tell dean that as long as he is taking them he will be fine, he will be able to help on hunts and watch his back. Dean didn't believe him and he told him. Sam would tell him that if he loved him then he wouldn't hide them anymore, that he shouldn't throw them away. Dean didn't understand what he had did wrong. He had always took good care of Sam, so he thought. But now Sam was an addict, a junkie. Sam would cry and hit dean trying to get the pills from him. Dean just let Sam cry, let Sam have a fit. Sam was going to get over this, even if he had to suffer a little.

One day when Dean had left the motel room for just fifteen minutes, he went to get Sam some food. When he came back Sam was laying on the bed, looked to be asleep. Dean had set the bags of food down on the table and went to his brothers side. Sam was on his stomach, head to the side. His face as pale as a ghost, face sweaty his lips dry and had a gray color to them. There was throw up on the floor under him, and next to it a small brown bottle. Empty bottle. Sam had overdosed.

"Holy shit" Dean gasped. "Sammy? Sammy?" He went to his knees grabbing his brothers face in his hands. "Sam wake up, wake up buddy" he cries.

Sam just lays there, not stirring, his breathing very slow. Dean feels for a pulse, it's barely there. Grabbing his cell phone from his pocket he dials 911 cursing before the operator comes on. "Hello?...yes my brother overdosed...on what?...um...Vicodin..uh huh yea...um the Circle Inn...room 7" then he hangs up. "Come on Sammy don't do this to me" he says.

Dean already has the motel room door open when the ambulance arrives five minutes later. He leads them to his brother then moves out of their way. "How long has he been like this?" the man asks.

"Um I don't know..I found him like this" Dean says.

"Do you know what he took?"

"uh vicodin" Dean says looking at the bottle in his hand.

"okay, do you know how much he has taken?" the other man asks.

"um I don't know, the bottle is empty" he says holding it up.

The two paramedics look at one another for a moment, then go back to helping Sam. One man goes out and brings in a stretcher, and then the two men pick Sam's limp body up and set him on it strapping him down. They wheel him outside, where there are other motel guests standing around the ambulance seeing what all the commotion is. Dean rides in the back with Sam as they drive to the hospital.

Sam had been changed into one of those blue hospital gowns. He had his stomach pumped and is now laying in a room with a few wires coming out of him. Dean is sitting in the chair next to him sleeping.

Sam's standing in a room. He doesn't look pale or sweaty or sick. He has his jeans on and a shirt with his brown jacket over it. He looks up, down and around the room. Its small, dark, and cold. He just stands there, in the middle of the room. The walls all of a sudden turn to fire, the fire is all around him, but its stays there, doesn't move as if its trapped. He doesn't feel the heat, but he feels scared, alone. Looking ahead of him he see's a woman, she's walking towards him, at first she's on fire, but then the fire is gone. She's standing there in her white nightgown. She looks sad, but then she starts to smile. He smiles back at her. Walking closer to him she doesn't say anything, just keeps smiling. She puts her hand on his forehead and he closes his eyes. He hears was she's saying without her actually saying it aloud.

Sam opens his eyes. He frowns, his arm feels heavy so he looks down to see Dean asleep using it as a pillow. He looks around the room wondering where he is. He starts to coughing.

"Sammy?" Dean says after jumping awake. Sam's coughing, almost gagging. Dean gets up and goes into the tiny bathroom and comes out with a small paper cup full of water. He hands it to his brother and Sam drinks all of it. "thanks" Sam croaks.

Dean nods and sits down. "How are you feeling?" he asks.

"fine" Sam says quietly.

"Good" He says. "Sam if you ever do that again, I will fucking kill you" He says it low, but full of anger.

Sam doesn't say anything, Just continues to stare at his feet. The two brothers sit in silence for a while before Sam speaks up. "I'm sorry" he whispers.

Dean looks at him.

"I don't know what I was thinking. I should have been more responsible, I...I just didn't know what to do" he says looking down.

Dean sighs. "you should have came to me Sam"

"I know Dean..I just...I don't know. I'm sorry" he says, tears streaming down his face.

Dean just stares at him, letting him cry. Sam should be sad, he should be sorry.

Sam looks over at Dean now, his eyes puffy and even more tears streaming down his face.

"Sammy" Dean says pulling his baby brother into a hug.

Sam and Dean are driving down the highway. Dean is behind the wheel lip singing to Matallica. Sam is in the passenger seat leaning against the window staring at the cloudless sky. Sam never told Dean about his dream or vision or whatever it was that had happened right before he woke up in the hospital. What his mother had told him and showed him, was unreal. He knew that it would never turn out the way he saw it. Not now that he's straight, and not now that he's back with his brother, I mean really back. And that's what had changed his whole perspective on the thing. He saw how his life would of been if he was a junkie. How he would have been alone, without his big brother there to protect him. He would of been out living on the streets, dying on the streets.

He would of eventually been found by the demon that killed his mother and his Jessica. He would have basically went to the dark side, is how he would explain it. And Dean, well he would of been lost without his baby brother, alone, afraid, nothing to live for. Without his Sammy. Dean would eventually find his Sammy again, but not the Sammy he knew. Sam would be a different person, not even a person, something more. Powerful, evil. And Dean would have to kill the Sammy he once knew and loved, and after that he would have tried to take his own life. Sam would never tell Dean.

Looking over to where his brother is, Dean is singing a lot louder now. Sam just watches him. Dean looks over at him, and they both smile.