Title: Of Burgers and Wall Slams
Author: martyred-wings
Pairing: gen
Rating: G
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Mr Eric Kripke. I make no money from this - this is purely for entertainment purposes.
Summary: Written for the spnforthesane Supernatural Thursday Contest, where you have to come up with the silliest, crackiest fic possible! ;D


Dean had been in the Green room of Heaven for hours, had been screaming himself hoarse for ages waiting for someone to just respond, and to let him out. He had tried pleading with unknown, unseen adversaries that he really, really needed a pee, but no one had come to his aid. At a total loss as to what to do next, he picked up one of the burgers left for him by Zachariah, deciding that if he couldn't get out, he may as well eat.

He unwrapped the burger from it's protective paper, raising it to his lips, not knowing at first that he was destined to never eat that burger. Without warning he was grabbed from behind from an unexpected, unseen adversary, and he dropped the burger to the table where it had come from. He was whirled through the air, feeling his back collide solidly against the wall behind him, wide eyes taking in the sight of Castiel before him, staring at him intently.

Castiel closed off Dean's instinctive cry for help by clapping his hand over the hunter's mouth, before he stared, stared, stared at him, warning him with his look and a slight shake to not make a sound. He withdrew a knife from beneath his voluminous trench coat to further seal the deal. Dean nodded slightly, telling the angel with that nod he wouldn't scream, and Castiel finally released him.

"What - ?" Dean stuttered out, breath slightly robbed from him by the unexpected wall slam, and the weight of Castiel still pressed against him.

"I had to stop you, Dean, before you ate that burger. That one was mine. It had the special pickle on I like. You knew I wanted that burger, Dean," Castiel said, in that familiar gruff voice of his.

Dean stared at him in disbelief, blinking owlishly, before he said - "So it's yours. You didn't have to give me the wall slam."

Castiel didn't say anything, just let him go, and walked to the table where his burger with the special pickle on that he liked still sat. He started to eat, before Dean joined him, reaching hesitantly for another burger. When Castiel did not slam him against the wall again, Dean presumed it was safe, and began to eat as well. Silence reigned supreme between hungry angel and man as they chewed.