Title: ...And Back Again
By: elfin
Pairing: Jack/Doctor (Nine)
Rating: PG

Dark eyes glisten, stars in the desert sky. Large hands cradle his head while strong arms support his weakening body.

Slumped helplessly against the lean form, Captain Jack wishes he's able do more but lie there and die.

"I thought you were dead." The voice is rough, emotion scraping over sandpaper.

"I was." That pathetic half-whisper is all he can manage. "I will be."

"I would never have left you."

"I know."

He tries to lift a hand - just one hand - to the all-too-familiar face. But his arm won't budge and instead the Doctor does it for him, taking one hand into his own and holding it. He slides hot fingers between Jack's cold digits.

"Stay with me." The pain in the Doctor's voice is palpable.

"I... I don't think I can." Jack gives the Doctor a wan smile. "Sorry."

"Don't...." A single tear breaks from the dark eyes, rare and beyond sad. "I won’t lose you. I've only just found you again."

There’s a sudden pain and the Doctor tightens his grip, glancing down at their joined hands... at the shards of light that slice through his pale flesh.

What...? But before he can make sense of it, Jack's hand slackens. "No.... No." The heartfelt pain of losing the man he’d believed dead for so long mingles with his own physical pain. He tries to shout at Jack, to keep him there, but all he can do is bite off a cry as the bright shards tear further along his arm.

Regeneration.

Why...?! Why now?

He can’t stop it.

The Doctor throws back his head, holding Jack's precious body in his arms even as the fierce agony rips through him and the scream is torn from him.

But instead of stripping his own skin from his bones, the light soaks into Jack's motionless form, healing the wounds, sealing flesh, shocking the heart into restarting.


Jack’s head falls back and the first breath he takes is carried on a yell of terror. It grates down into his lungs and comes rushing back out too quickly. His eyes open wide, fearful, and he stares at the Doctor as the light pours of out him.

He doesn’t want this. He doesn’t want to take what the Doctor can’t afford to give. But he doesn’t know how to stop it or even if it’s possible without killing them both. For a second time he’s being brought back to life and his time it hurts, more than anything he’s ever known.

His limbs are on fire, his clothes burning on his skin. Where the phaser seared through flesh and muscle and important internal organs, the path burns brightest. Struggling is pointless, he hasn’t the energy to move a finger still trapped between the Doctor’s.

He would gladly shift from the tight hold if he could but he’s being hugged as if all life in the universe depended on him being in the Doctor’s arms.

A blink of an eye, time holds steady in strands pulled tight. Then the moment ticks past. The light fading, taking the pain with it.

The Doctor gracefully topples backwards, head hitting the metal grille beneath them, muscles in his thighs pulled tight, arms loosening.

Jack heaves in a breath, fighting a body that no longer feels like his own. He raises one trembling hand to his face, drawing his fingers over his features, confirming they’re still his own while reaching his other hand to the Doctor’s chest, trying to find a heartbeat. One will do.

“Doctor?” His voice sounds alien to him, but it *is* his voice, not that of a stranger. And he’s oddly relieved, as if living isn’t enough. He wants to live as himself.

‘How fucking selfish, Jacky.’

Somehow he pushes himself up, his weight on one shaking arm, fingers scrabbling at the Doctor’s T-shirt. “Come on, Doc… please. You can’t be dead. Not for me… I’m nothing. Not for me.” He lifts his hand to wipe harshly at the wetness in his eyes before edging closer, pulling again on the dark cloth. “Doctor….”

Hand spread on the Doctor’s chest he suddenly feels it – two hearts start to beat in that eternal rhythm. And relieved, Jack lets himself drop back to the hard, cold floor. “Okay… okay. You’re alive. It’s okay.”

He doesn’t move from there for a while.

~

Rose watches the two men crashed out on the low couch – lying half-on, half-off the battered leather-like material. Legs spread.

Jack’s left ankle is hooked over the Doctor’s right. Jack’s head tucked in against the Doctor’s shoulder, his arms crossed over his chest. The Doctor has his head tipped against the back of the couch but one arm is wrapped possessively around Jack’s shoulders. Both of them are snoring softly.

She has them both back alive. She’s tried to understand what happened but the Doctor isn’t sure how or why he was able to use his regeneration to save Jack and Jack… Jack’s in awe of what the Doctor did for him – whether he meant to or not.

For a while the balance will continue to shift until they all settle again into what might be new roles. She doesn’t know how to feel about that. But she will and until then she’s happy to wait and watch because she hasn’t seen the Doctor happy since Satellite 5.  He hasn't danced since they left Jack, dead at the whim of the Daleks.  Maybe he'll dance again.

end