Title: Bedroom Toys
By: lilithangel
Pairings: Jack/Ianto
Rating: AO
Lyric: Silicone romance, what's your name fancypants?
Summary: Ianto finds something he wasn’t expecting in Jack’s quarters. Written for week two of writerinadrawer with the prompt challenge of a Duran Duran song and lyric. The song is the title of the story, the lyric is Silicone romance, what's your name fancypants?.

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Ianto expected to find random alien technology and abandoned coffee mugs in Jack’s quarters. That was why he ventured down there occasionally. But what he held in his hand was not what he expected.

For a split second the image of the hand in the jar upstairs had him wondering if Jack was collecting body parts, but you can’t mistake silicone no matter how lifelike it might be.

Nervously Ianto looked around. He and Lisa had played with toys occasionally, but this was so realistic. He had no idea why Jack would have such a thing… okay maybe he had a couple of ideas that made him blush even though he was alone.

Why Jack would need a toy was beyond Ianto. The man was easily the most attractive person he had ever met. Of course Ianto had never seen any evidence of Jack entertaining guests in the Hub, but maybe he didn’t need to with this piece of silicone romance, “what’s your name fancypants?” Ianto said, with a chuckle.

“I call him John.” Jack’s voice came down from the hatch, “but I like fancypants better.”

Ianto spun around and thrust the toy behind his back in a panic. “I’m sorry sir; it’s none of my business I shouldn’t be prying.”

“Pry away, Ianto,” Jack said with a grin as he slid down the ladder.

“No, thank you, sir.” Ianto tried to slip past Jack and get to the ladder. Realising what he was still holding he thrust it at Jack.

“Careful,” Jack said with a laugh, “John will think you don’t like him.”

“What you choose to do in the privacy of your own quarters is none of my business, sir,” Ianto said.

“What if I wanted to make it your business?” Jack said bouncing the toy in one hand. “John here is very accommodating, but not much of a conversationalist.”

“Sir?”

“Nor is he much of a kisser.” Jack moved closer to Ianto.

“Sir?” Ianto said again as he was pressed against the ladder. Jack grinned and Ianto suddenly decided he wasn’t going to let Jack out tease him. “It would be nice to be conscious this time.”

“That was CPR,” Jack said.

“Of course, sir,” Ianto smirked, “that must have been in a class I missed.”

“Are you trying to call my bluff, Ianto Jones? Because I don’t bluff.”

Ianto wasn’t sure what he was doing, but he was tired of hurting and tired of feeling guilty. “Perhaps I should get better acquainted with John then?”

“Maybe you should get better acquainted with the model,” Jack said with a grin.

“Really?” Ianto said with his own grin. He moved so that his lips almost brushed across Jack’s. “Fancypants is a better name for the model then.”

“Are you flirting with me?” Jack pursed his lips.

“I just might be, sir,” Ianto said, “but right now some of us have work to do.”

“You wound me, Ianto.”

“Of course I do, sir. Perhaps John could take care of you tonight.”

Jack laughed and Ianto used the distraction to escape up the ladder.

“Goodnight, Ianto,” Jack called after him.

“Goodnight, sir.” Ianto was smiling as he climbed out of Jack’s quarters. He still loved and mourned for Lisa, but perhaps it was time to rejoin the human race and the Captain was the perfect person to practice on.

END

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