Title: Birth Ritual
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: 3, 50episodes
Prompt: 1, Birth
Author's Note: Continuation of Miracle.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

Ianto stood at the window of Jack's bedroom in the Hub, looking out of the window at the city below. The stars were sparkling brightly overhead, as were the lights of the city -- just as though nothing in his life had changed dramatically on the day just past.

Yesterday, he had died. And yet here he was, looking out over the city of Cardiff after nightfall, just as he'd done hundreds of times before. As if nothing had happened, as if all of what had gone on yesterday was just another day in his life.

It hadn't been just another day. It had been the strangest day that he'd ever lived through -- and one that, for all intents and purposes, he hadn't lived through. Yes, he was alive now, but he'd somehow been brought back. That thought was both comforting and frightening.

He shouldn't think of it that way, he told himself, unable to hold back a shiver. He should simply be grateful to whatever quirk of fate had seen fit to give him apparently immortality -- and had allowed him to spend eternity with the man he loved.

Yet it was impossible to see all that had happened entirely in that light. Yes, it gave him more time to be with the Doctor, but what would the long-term effects be? Would the Time Lord now die long before he himself would, leaving him alone without his lover by his side?

He'd never really been able to fathom what the Doctor felt at the thought of losing him, of living years, even decades and possibly centuries, after he was gone. Now that he could, the crushing weight of what that loss would be like settled on him like an oppressive cloak.

But this wasn't a bad thing, a little voice in the back of his mind piped up. Now he and the Doctor could be together without feeling that their time was limited, that they would be parted all too soon and that they would never have enough time with each other.

Neither of them knew how far the abilities they suddenly seemed to be endowed with would extend, he reminded himself with a soft sigh. He might not be immortal -- this might have been some sort of fluke that wouldn't last, not the kind of immortality that Jack had been granted.

The only way for him to find out for sure would be to -- well, to die again. And if there was even a slight chance of not coming back, then he wasn't going to throw himself into the path of danger just to find out if he would stay dead the next time.

And as for the Doctor's seemingly aborted regeneration -- that was something that he didn't want to test, either. What if a new regeneration was somehow forced, and the man he loved did indeed become another person? He didn't want to think about what that would be like.

He would still be the same man -- but only inside. And as the Doctor had told him, his personality would change when he changed bodies. He wouldn't be the same man Ianto had fallen in love with -- and there was a good chance that he wouldn't love Ianto.

What would happen then? He would be cursed to live on, just as Jack was, without the man who he had bonded with, the man who was the other half of his soul. The man he loved would be dead, and someone else with the same name would be there in his place.

Another shudder went through his body at the thought, and he experienced a sudden desire to open the window and fling himself out of it. What was the use of living in a world where he didn't have the Doctor by his side? He'd much rather be dead and gone.

The urge was gone as quickly as it had swept over him. That was no way to look at their situation, Ianto told himself sternly. From what he could see, they had more good points to be thankful for than problems they would have to work out.

He was immortal. He wasn't absolutely sure of that fact, but that was how it seemed. He had come back in exactly the same way that Jack always did -- gasping and feeling cold, as though he'd been in some dark place that he couldn't quite remember.

And the Doctor wasn't going to regenerate -- not outwardly, anyway. He knew that a regenerative process had begun, but it had somehow been arrested before he'd been forced into a new body. Only his inner self had been through the entire transformation.

They were safe -- at least as safe as they could allow themselves to feel while the Master was still in the universe. Ianto knew that until they faced him, and managed to find some way to eliminate the threat he personified to the world, neither of them would ever rest easy.

He let out of a soft gasp of surprise when he felt arms slide around his waist from behind, relaxing almost immediately as the Doctor's presence surrounded him. Ianto let himself lean back against the Time Lord, closing his eyes in relief.

"This has certainly been a day to remember," the Doctor said softly, his voice gentle in Ianto's ear. The young man almost wanted to laugh at his lover's words; saying that they would remember this day for a very long time was a definite understatement.

"It's like being born into a new life, isn't it?" Ianto murmured, turning his head to nuzzle his cheek against the Doctor's. "If I had known when I woke up this morning that I would die and come back to life -- and that your regenerations wouldn't change you -- I'd have marked the day down on the calendar."

"That's how I used to feel whenever I would regenerate," the Doctor said, his arms tightening around Ianto's waist. "Until I got this body, and realised that I never wanted to give it up. Especially after I met you. I want to stay just as I am."

"And now you will," Ianto told him, turning in the Time Lord's embrace and slipping his own arms around his lover. "You'll never have to worry about having a different body, Doctor. And we'll never have to worry about losing each other, thanks to what happened today."

"I couldn't be happier that we'll be able to spend eternity together, love," the Doctor said, his words coming out slowly as though he was choosing them carefully. "But we can't afford to let down our guard yet, Ianto. We still don't know what the Master may be up to."

Ianto nodded, sighing softly and resting his forehead against the Doctor's. "I know that, Doctor. But can't we at least take a few moments to just be happy for ourselves? We don't know what the effects of this will be, but for right now, they look as if they're all to the good."

"I think they could be," the Time Lord agreed, raising a hand to run his fingers through Ianto's hair. "Owen seems to think that we're both all right physically, and I trust his medical opinion. But we won't know until we're put to the test. Which I hope won't happen any time soon."

"I agree," Ianto said with a sigh. "But at the same time, it's disconcerting to not know for certain that I won't simply die and not come back. I won't find out until I -- well, until I die. Again. And I don't want that to happen. It's .... not a good experience."

The Doctor nodded, his dark eyes sympathetic. "I know it's not, Ianto. And I don't want it to happen, either. I don't want to relive those feelings that tore me apart today when I knew that you were dead. But we may not have a choice at some point."

"I'm even afraid to go to sleep again," Ianto said, biting his lip. "I don't want to deal with those dreams again. I don't believe that they'll have gone away, just because of all that happened to us today. If they're caused by the Master, they could very well get worse."

"Or they could get better," the Doctor told him, raising an eyebrow. "It's always possible that he could think we're dead -- and the dreams may stop. I have no idea if they will or not, but I can always hope until I'm proved wrong, can't I?"

"I'd like to believe that, too," Ianto said with a smile, the Doctor's words awakening a wave of hope within him. "It would be absolutely wonderful to be able to sleep tonight. I hope you're right, Doctor. We could use a bit of a break. And yes, we can both always hope."

"Then let's concentrate on our hope." The Doctor's voice was quiet but steady, his dark gaze riveted on Ianto's face. "We might be misplacing it, but I don't think so. I want to see this as a wonderful miracle for us, Ianto. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that it is."

"I'm going to look at this as a rebirth -- for both of us," Ianto whispered, raising his hands to cup the Time Lord's face and gazing into his eyes. "The first day of the rest of our lives together. And not only this life -- but any other, for all of eternity."

"We've said that so many times before," the Doctor answered, his voice barely a whisper. "But this time, it's true. We really do have each other for all of eternity, Ianto. There's no telling what everything that's happened might have given us."

What this day had given them was much more than they knew at the moment -- Ianto was sure of that. They would both have to reach out and discover just what abilities they might have gained -- and just how much more time together they had been gifted with.

If becoming immortal was some sort of birth ritual, then he would gladly go through the process over and over again, if it meant that he could throw off the constraints of only having one short human life span and be with the Doctor through time immemorial.

"As long as it's given me more time with you, then I'll be happy," Ianto told his lover, bowing his head to capture the Time Lord's lips with his own. This was indeed a rebirth for both of them, he thought as their lips met. One that he hoped they would be able to sustain for a very long time to come.

***