Title: Blood To Blood
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Ianto Jones
Fandom: Doctor Who/Torchwood
Rating: PG-13
Table: 2, letter100
Prompt: 19, Family
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Ianto Jones, unfortunately. Please do not sue.

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My dearest Doctor,

It almost feels strange to start a letter like that. I never have before. I've always stuck to the tried and true, and I've never had an easy time expressing myself when I wrote to anyone else. My letters always sounded stilted and awkward.

But it's different with you. I feel like I can pour out everything that's in my heart, and I don't have to hold back anything I feel or anything I want to say. With any other person, I'd feel a constraint, and I wouldn't really even know what I wanted or needed to tell them.

Everything is different with you. Ever since I've been with you, I've opened up in ways that I never would have been able to without you in my life. It might sound like a cliché, but you've given me the freedom to be myself without reservations.

I could never be like that with Lisa. Everything I did with her was second-guessing. Well, maybe not everything, but enough that our relationship was always a little strained. Yes, I loved her in a way, but it wasn't the pure love that we share.

And with Jack .... well, I think you know without me saying that I could never write him a letter and pour out my heart and soul. I think he would have recoiled from knowing that much about what I felt, because he never really felt the same.

Oh, I don't doubt that he loved me, in his way. But he was so right when he told me that he wasn't my soul mate, and that he and I weren't meant for each other. It hurt at the time, but now I'm grateful to him for letting me go -- and for leading me to you.

And then, of course, there's my family. My father isn't someone I could ever have written a letter to. When I was away at university, it was always my mother and sister that I wrote to, never to him. He and I have never been close, not even when I was a child.

It's not that he didn't try, at least when I was a little boy. But he's someone who probably should have never had children, because he doesn't know how to reach out to people and meet them halfway. He only knows how to dominate and control.

My mother is a different matter. Some people would say that she's perfect for my father, because of the way that she accepts everything that he is. Maybe that's a form of love. I don't know. But it's not what I would ever be able to call love. It would never work for me.

I was never really close to my sister, either. Rhiannon is a good person, and I do love her. But there was always something of a barrier between us, even though I think we've gotten a little closer as we've gotten older. At least we understand each other more now.

You know all about my family. How many times have I poured out my heart to you about them? Probably far too many to mention. And you've always listened patiently, and even offered me some good advice about how to deal with my frustrations over them.

They're not the greatest family in the world, and they're certainly not exactly what I would ask for if I had the choice. But they're the family I was given, and I can't completely turn my back on them. That old saying about how you can't choose your family is certainly true.

But in some ways, I have chosen my family. Not the one that I have on Earth, but the one I have now. I suppose that I can somewhat consider my ex-teammates at Torchwood a part of my family, because I've been close to them for so long.

Even at times when I felt that they didn't appreciate me -- or even that they didn't want me there, at least when I first began working with the team -- I always felt a bond with them, because of all the things we saw that we had to keep secret.

And of course, there's the one person who's part of my chosen family, the person who means more to me than anyone ever has or ever could. You, Doctor. You're the most important part of my family, the person who I've chosen to give my heart to.

When I was with Lisa, and then with Jack, I never considered them as part of my family. Lisa was my first serious relationship -- I'd been with people before, but I'd never let anyone into my life the way that I did with her. But she didn't feel like part of my heart and soul.

And with Jack -- well, that relationship was different. I considered him part of my extended family -- and at one time, if he had asked me to have a permanent relationship with him, I probably would have done it. I'd have married him, if he would have asked me.

But he never did, and I'm grateful that we never went that far. What we had showed me who I really am, and gave me the strength to take a step forward into my relationship with you. He'll have my everlasting gratitude for that, and I'll always consider him a close friend.

You're so much more to me than anyone has ever been. More than a companion, more than a lover. You're a part of me that I couldn't live without, Doctor. You're my heart and soul, everything that I could ever have hoped to find in a lover.

That bond is never going to weaken or fade. I don't think that we would have been able to bond with the Gallifreyan ritual if we weren't destined for each other. We're family -- in the truest sense of the word. A part of each other, heart to heart, soul to soul, blood to blood.

I might not have been able to choose the family that was given me by birth and blood -- but I've chosen the most important member of my family, the man who I've bonded with and will love for all of my life and beyond. And he is the most important family that I could ever have.

Eternally yours,

Ianto

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