Title: The Suits Not So Clean Cut After All
By: Jennie-x
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG
Summary: Ianto has a past, one he has hidden from everyone. But when someone shows up on his doorstep, will Jack still want him?

***

Ianto smiled as he woke up in the arms of the person he always wanted to fall asleep with; Jack lay restlessly next to him, his fingers absent mindedly tracing lazy smiles up and down Ianto's pale arms.

"Morning," Jack whispered, knowing that Ianto wasn't exactly a morning person.

"Morning," Ianto said back just as quietly, he went to say something else when there was a sudden ringing on the door. "If we ignore them do you think they'll go away?" Ianto laughed as he sat up and pulled his boxers on, he looked at Jack who was smiling still comfortably under the covers.

"Are you expecting some one?" He asked curiously. Ianto shook his head and threw a pair of clean boxers at Jack just as the bell started to ring again, "Whoever they are, they're not going to stop." Jack laughed and watched Ianto walk out of the bedroom.

Ianto opened the door, wondering who would be standing there awaiting him. His mouth dropped open when he saw who was standing there, his sandy brown hair straightened over his eyes, and ruffled slightly at the back, his eyes as green as they were the first time he had met them.

"Surprise!" The man greeted. "I know its been a long time, but you know its kind of cold out here." Realising what was happening Ianto stood away from the door and allowed the man in, forgetting for a moment that Jack was in the house, only remembering when he walked out of the bedroom to stare at the amazingly attractive man standing in the living room.

"Jack, this is Chris, Chris, Jack." Ianto said, his eyes not moving from Chris.

"Nice to meet you." Jack flashed his best polite smile and then looked over at Ianto who was staring at Chris with longing in his eyes.

"Like wise mate." Chris spoke with a light Welsh accent. "I'm sorry to you know drop in." Chris said smiling at Ianto.

"Don't worry.." Ianto mumbled, "I'm going to get dressed then I'll make you a coffee and you can tell me why you're here." Ianto sighed and walked casually into the bedroom, Jack at his heels.

"So, ex boyfriend?" Jack smirked leaning against the door.

"No, yeah, kind of.." Ianto mumbled, worry written all over his face.

"Yan, what's going on?" Jack asked softly.

"Nothing." Ianto sighed, Jack knew he was lying it was obvious.

"Why don't you take today off? Catch up with your old friend." Jack didn't mean for it to sound bitter, but he couldn't hide his jealousy.

"But.."

"No its clear you need to spend some time with him, its fine, I'll see you tonight." Jack said as he finished getting dressed, without another word he left Ianto alone, though his stomach ached when he realised he had left Ianto alone with a very attractive ex boyfriend.

After getting dressed, Ianto walked into the living room to see Chris sat at the table rolling what looked and smelt like to be a joint.

"You want?" He asked.

"No, and you're not doing it in here." Ianto said sternly.

"Fine, lets go out then." Chris grinned.

"Fine lets go." Ianto sighed and grabbed his trainers as he was casually dressed in jeans and a hoody.

-x-

Ianto hesitated when Chris said he wanted to go to the bay, he knew it was likely that Jack would be watching them. "So, why are you here?" Ianto asked as he sat on one of the benches, Chris sitting next to him a little too close.

"I missed you."

"Don't give me that Chris." Ianto snapped. Chris looked away and sighed. "You left, no warning nothing, you just fucking left,"

"I know." Chris sighed, "But I'm back."

"Five years too late." Ianto mumbled. "How long are you staying here?"

"I thought you would want me back, and was hoping to stay a long time, but now it looks like I'll be gone in the morning."

"Gone where?" Ianto asked softly, trying not to stare at Chris for too long, he was like a drug that slowly intoxicated him.

"Back to London. We had some fun in London didn't we Yan?" Ianto couldn't help but smile, and as Chris lit his joint, he couldn't help but take it and take a long drag.

"Yeah Chris we had some fun." Ianto smiled back cheekily, then cursed under his breath when he saw Owen and Toshiko walking up to him.

"We thought it was you." Toshiko grinned, Owen frowned at the sight of Chris and the joint in his hand.

"Yeah, Jack gave me the day off to catch up with an old.."

"Lover." Chris smirked.

"Friend." Ianto said harshly, and instantly regretted it when he saw how hurt Chris looked. "Everything okay at work?"

"Slow and boring, and as you're not in we've been on a coffee hunt." Toshiko smiled. "We'll leave you too it." Owen nodded at them and he and Toshiko walked off.

"You're ashamed of me." Chris mumbled. "Admit it, you're ashamed of me and of us." Chris sighed draping his arms around Ianto.

"No, I'm not." Ianto whispered. "I'm ashamed of the person I was when I was with you, I could never be ashamed of you."

-x-

After sitting in an awkward silence for a while Chris and Ianto became slightly restless, Ianto wanted to walk away from Chris, forget he ever saw him again and just go and let Jack hold him, but a part of him was glued to sitting next to Chris.

"Show me around." Chris grinned.

"You used to live here." Ianto laughed but got up any way.

"It seems like a life time ago." Chris sighed.

"Maybe because it was." Ianto sighed, a lot of things has happened since you went away Ianto thought silently as he stared at Chris for a second. "So that right there is where I work." Ianto smiled and pointed to the tourist office, he was pretty sure that CTV camera had turned to them but didn't care, he needed to enjoy this moment.

"You work in a tourist office." Chris laughed as he took another drag, he handed it to Ianto and without thinking he took it.

"Its a bit more than a tourist office." Ianto laughed.

"You've changed." Chris sighed as he stood in front of the water tower.

"You haven't." Ianto said smiling, the joint still in his hand.

"We were amazing together weren't we Ianto." Chris whispered aware that Ianto was walking towards him.

"Yeah we were." Ianto sighed. "But that's in the past now."

"Why?" Chris asked a little hurt.

"Because I've changed." Ianto said a little strongly. "Me and you, we weren't very good at being an us." Ianto sighed.

"But we were still amazing." Chris smiled, kissing him softly on the lips, it took all of Ianto's strength to pull away. "Do you want me to go?"

"I've got a life here now Chris..."

"Doing what? Sitting around in a tourist office?" Chris shouted.

"Its more than that." Ianto said loudly, "I'm more than that."

"Its because of him, that Jack." Chris said sharply, his words aiming to hurt. "I loved you Ianto, and after five years I still love you, will he ever love you like I did?"

"Probably not." Ianto reasoned, "But I'm willing to love him far more than you ever loved me Chris." Chris went to say something but stopped.

"I'm sorry." He said after a while and Ianto just looked a little stunned, one thing Chris never did was apologise. "I know what this is about, and I can't change what we did, and I know every day you probably wake up hating yourself for it, because you're a good guy."

"Stop," Ianto whispered, his voice fragile, "Please Chris just stop.."

"We can't change what we did Ianto, but we can change the future." Ianto just shook his head not caring if Jack was watching this show on CTV and not caring that tears were falling down his face.

"I want you gone, take your stuff and just go." Ianto screamed and walked away, his body breaking down and he didn't care who saw, he raced back to the flat knowing Chris was following, Once inside he grabbed his bag and threw it out the door just as Chris was walking up the stairs. "Please, just go."

"I'm sorry Ianto." Chris whispered and then turned around and walked away. Ianto closed the door, he slid down onto the floor and cried for what felt like hours.

-x-

He wasn't too sure how he managed to get into bed, but when his alarm went off every muscle in his body screamed for him to ignore it, but instead he rolled over turned it off and climbed into the shower.

He was later than usual, but earlier than every one else, he knew he'd have to talk to Jack about everything today and that made him want to go back home, to hide under the covers of his bed. "I didn't think you'd come back." Jack said softly, he was standing on the staircase, his arms crossed over his chest, staring at Ianto an unreadable look on his face.

"I've got work to do sir." Ianto mumbled.

"Is he gone?" Jack asked a little bit too eagerly.

"Yeah Jack, he's gone." Ianto sighed.

"Did you two, yesterday..."

"Piss off Jack." Ianto said and walked in a rush down to the archives, but his plan was ruined when he heard Jack following.

"Ianto talk to me." Jack's voice followed his foot steps, and Ianto stopped sudden in his walk and turned to face Jack.

"What do you want me to say?" Ianto screamed.

"The truth." Jack said quietly, that was enough to make Ianto laugh.

"If you knew the truth I wouldn't be working here Jack." Ianto said, tears forming in his eyes.

"What do you mean?" Jack asked softly, moving closer to Ianto and wrapping his arms around him.

"I killed some one." Ianto said quietly.

"What?" Jack asked pulling away slightly, looking into Ianto's eyes.

"I was seventeen, just out of college, didn't get the best grades and I didn't get into university, I was living half at home, half with Chris, our days consisted of mindless shagging, and getting high on what ever we could, but one night, me and Chris took the whole getting high thing too far, we had been in trouble with the police so many times, I knew a cell like the back of my own hand, one night I got released after being drunk and disorderly, my dad picked me up at the station then packed my bags. I didn't know what to do, so I phoned Chris, he was high on what ever it was that night, drunk too I could smell the vodka but I got in the car, he was talking about how we could get a flat together, spend the rest of our lives enjoying every moment of every day when it happened, I couldn't stand being so close to him and not being so close so I kissed him, he kissed back and then the car crashed into the back of her car." Ianto was now crying hard, Jack tried to fight back tears but he couldn't, and as Ianto began to talk again, he found himself crying along with his lover, "She was nineteen, pregnant, second year of university, she was studying to be a doctor, she was going home to tell her mum that her boyfriend just proposed, when I killed her."

"It was an accident." Jack said strongly, as he held Ianto in place.

"I killed her, me and Chris we killed her." Ianto spat. "I should be locked up in one of the cells here,"

"But you're not, you've done a lot of good things in your life Ianto."

"Trying to make up for that one night, by making coffee." Ianto said, his body numb.

"It was a horrible accident Ianto, you didn't know what was going to happen." Jack said, he still couldn't quite bring himself to imagine Ianto ever being on drugs, ever getting arrested..

"But it did." Ianto mumbled. "I lied to you, I wiped my records, the one thing I had ever been good at was computers, I was sent to a young offenders because I was seventeen, I was in there for a year, after that I had another year in mainstream prison, then I was released as I only got 2 years, the judge thought my case was nothing more than peer pressure because I wasn't under the influence at the time. Chris got three years, he told me to wait for him, and I did.. after sorting out my record, I got a job, nothing fancy just at a research place, as an archivist, that's when Torchwood first noticed me, but I was still waiting for Chris. The day of his release I picked him up, I had a good flat and thought maybe we could do it for real this time, but after the first night he left he hadn't even unpacked, he just left me. That's when I went back to Torchwood."

Jack was lost for words, he knew the younger man had always kept himself private, he always thought it was because of a troubled childhood, but this, it was something else completely something he couldn't understand, but he didn't have too.

"I'll understand if you want me to leave." Ianto whispered.

"What would you do if you left?" Jack asked softly.

"What I always do sir, carry on." Ianto nodded his head and went to walk away, but not this time he held Ianto in place and pressed his body close together.

"I don't want you to leave Ianto." Jack whispered. "I know how hard it must be for you, just to live with what happened, but the fact that you do, and you come to work every day and you save people, you save me every day Ianto. And I couldn't live without you."

"I love you Jack." Ianto whispered, "You saved me."

"I love you too." Jack smiled kissing him softly.

The two held each other for a while, Jack knew there was so much more that was left to be said, but he couldn't find the words, he was pretty sure no words could compare to the last few words they had shared. Jack couldn't hate Ianto for what he did, it was in the past and now it was to stay there, just like the demons in Jack's would stay gone too, because they had each other, and with each other they could make knew memories to block out the pain that was hidden beneath the clean cut suits Ianto wore so perfectly.

***