Title: Discovery
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Table: 4
Prompt: 44, Anonymous
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

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Ianto smiled to himself as he lay back on the couch, the Doctor in his arms. They hadn't had a chance to relax like this for a while; it seemed that when they were in the Tardis, they spent less time relaxing with each other than when they were here in his flat in Cardiff.

But that wasn't unusual, he told himself, sighing and closing his eyes. When they were in the Doctor's ship, it was usually because the Time Lord was trying to assuage the wanderlust that could hit him at times -- or because he'd received some sort of urgent call for help. Or just because he needed the unusual connection with the Tardis.

It had alarmed Ianto at first, the realization that if the Doctor didn't spend time being in the Tardis, he was weakened to the point of illness. He would probably never understand that nature of that bond, but he couldn't begrudge the Doctor anything that he might need.

Strange how he could feel that way when it came to his soul mate, but he'd never been able to feel that way with anyone else he'd been involved with. Oh, he had no problems with his lover having close friends. Everyone needed friends in their life. But there were times when friendships could overstep the bounds of propriety, and that was when he became uneasy.

He'd had to worry about that all the time with Jack -- but what had he expected? Jack was Jack, and he was never going to change. Ianto had learned at the very beginning of their relationship that Jack wasn't going to be tied down to one lover -- and it was the main thing that had ultimately driven them apart.

That didn't matter now; his relationship with Jack seemed so long ago that it might have happened to another person, in another lifetime. It didn't seem like something from his life, something that at one time he had thought stood a chance of being long-term.

He'd quickly come to realize how foolish that was, but it hadn't stopped him from trying to make his relationship with the immortal work out. Still, no matter how hard he'd tried, they had been doomed to failure in the end, and Ianto had known when to accept defeat and walk away.

At least he and Jack were still friends -- that had been very important to both of them. Ianto had the sneaking suspicion that Jack had never felt as passionately about him as he did about Jack, but he'd never had the courage to ask if that were true. There were some things the he didn't need to know -- he'd be much better off in ignorant bliss.

Besides, they'd had to work together, so maintaining a friendship out of the ashes of their more physical relationship had been a top priority. And it hadn't been as difficult as he'd thought it would be. In fact, it had been quite easy, once he'd accepted the fact that Jack was never going to fall deeply in love with him.

Ianto knew one of the reasons why Jack hadn't been able to feel so strongly for him -- and that reason was here in his arms now. Jack had loved the Doctor -- and probably still did. But he'd known that he wasn't meant to be with the Time Lord, and he'd had the grace to back away when it had become obvious that the Doctor was destined to be with Ianto.

He had to admire Jack for that, Ianto thought to himself, running one hand down the Doctor's arm and pulling the Time Lord more firmly into his arms, letting the other man settle back against his chest. He'd given up the man he loved. Ianto knew how that felt.

But did he really know? He'd thought that he loved Jack; he'd shed so many bitter tears over their breakup after it had happened that he'd thought he would never have any more tears left to cry. He knew now that what he'd felt for Jack had only skimmed the surface of his emotions -- his feelings for the Doctor were deeper than he'd ever dreamed his emotions could go.

He'd never known love until he'd known the Doctor. He knew that was an indisputable fact; love had been something that he'd only been scratching the surface of. Ianto was only glad that it hadn't taken him the rest of his life to find his soul mate.

Poor Jack. He'd had to give this up -- give up the complete satisfaction of loving a man like the Doctor, of knowing that he would never have to worry about being lied to, cheated on, or any of those things that were so .... human. He was sure that the Doctor would never do any of them.

And to think that it had all started with those anonymous letters and flowers that he'd left in the Tardis .... Ianto couldn't help smiling, thinking of how nervous and shy he'd been to let the Doctor know who had been sending those missives. He hadn't thought that the Time Lord would take matters into his own hands and try to find out for himself just who his secret admirer was.

"What are you thinking about?" the Doctor asked softly, tilting his head back to look up at Ianto from where he lay resting in his young lover's arms. "I could try to read your mind -- but I don't want to intrude. Still, I'm curious as to what's putting that smile on your face."

"You are," he replied simply, his smile growing wider and turning into a laugh when the Doctor began to look puzzled, then embarrassed. "Not in a bad way, love. I was just thinking about how our relationship started -- when I was sending you those anonymous notes."

"And the roses," the Doctor added, his voice soft and husky. "Don't forget the roses. They were lovely, Ianto. They quite captured my hearts, you know. I'd never had anyone send me flowers before -- not in such a beautifully romantic way."

Ianto laughed softly, tightening his arms slightly around the Doctor's slim waist. "I knew from the first moment I saw you, when Jack introduced us, that I was infatuated with you. I even thought that I was in love with you, right from the first. I had no idea that we were destined for each other -- but I think that a part of me might have guessed, even then."

"I didn't know, either," the Doctor confessed, relaxing back against Ianto's chest again. "But there was something about you -- something that drew me to you even when I was telling myself that I didn't need to be involved again. I couldn't help but be caught up in you."

"It's odd, isn't it?" Ianto mused, taking one of the Time Lord's hands in his own and bending the slender fingers back and forth gently. "The way that we came together. I can't help but wonder how many people down through time have met in that way. It seems like something unique -- but I'm sure that we aren't the only ones."

The Doctor shook his head, smiling and closing his eyes. "No, I'm sure we're not," he agreed, his voice sounding contented and relaxed. Ianto couldn't hold back another smile, this time one of satisfaction. He liked hearing the Doctor sound like this, so relaxed and at ease.

"You've needed this rest, haven't you?" he asked, ruffling the Time Lord's hair. "I know that you need your time out there in the stars, being in the Tardis -- but you also need your time here. It's a bit Jeckyll and Hyde, isn't it? There are two definite sides to you."

"Are you only just discovering that now?" the Doctor asked, laughing softly as he spoke. "I'd have thought you would have picked up on that a long time ago. It's probably only because I'm more or less homeless that I feel I need to be in a place where I can have some security -- but at the same time, I couldn't stop being a traveler if I wanted to. It's what I was born to be."

Ianto nodded, his mood turning serious. Of course the Doctor couldn't stop traveling in the Tardis -- he'd already seen proof that a part of the Time Lord would wither away if he couldn't do that. And he certainly wasn't going to be responsible for putting his love through that kind of pain.

"I don't expect you to ever stop traveling," he said softly, choosing his words with care. "But I'm glad that you want to .... I suppose the phrase would be 'put down roots.' This is your home, you know. This flat. Our flat. Here with me. That's where you belong."

"I couldn't stop traveling even if I wanted to, you know." The Doctor's voice was matter-of-fact, not betraying what his true feelings behind the words might be. "It's what I was born to do -- and it's such a large part of me that I don't think I could survive without it. But I've always wanted to be able to, as you say, put down roots. I just haven't been able to do it .... until now."

"You've had the chance before, haven't you?" Ianto asked softly, wondering if he would be opening a literal Pandora's Box with his words. He'd always thought that the Doctor would have liked to settle down -- and he suspected that the Time Lord had been faced with that choice at some point in his life. He was just glad that he was the man who'd won the Gallifreyan.

The Doctor looked down at their clasped hands, sighing softly. "Yes, I have. But it never worked out .... and it was never really possible. It wouldn't have been a life that I could happily lead, you see. I wouldn't have survived long in the sort of environment I'd have had to be in."

He didn't say anything else, but Ianto could sense that there was something behind his words, a sadness that the Doctor didn't want to touch on at the moment. He wasn't going to push with any more questions. He'd be satisfied with what the Doctor was willing to tell him -- for now.

But he wasn't going to push the Time Lord for answers in the future, either. He'd learned the hard way what pushing the Doctor could do -- and the last thing he wanted was to send his lover running away from him again. This time, Ianto might not be lucky enough to get him back.

"Well, you know that you always have a home here, with me," he said softly, bowing his head to brush soft lips against the Doctor's ruffled hair. "We belong together, Doctor. We both know that. We've said it often enough -- but there are times when I have to wonder if our belief doesn't slip at times. I don't want that to happen."

The Doctor shook his head, his head tilting back again to fix his dark gaze on his lover's face. "It won't happen, Ianto," he murmured, resting his head against the other man's shoulder. "I don't have any fear of that. Not any more."

Ianto smiled down at the Time Lord, unable to resist bending down to press a kiss against those softly parted lips. "Neither do I," he whispered, pushing those nagging little fears to the back of his mind. If the Doctor wasn't afraid of that possibility, then he wouldn't be, either.

And to think that this had all started with those anonymous notes. He'd discovered so much about himself since then -- and discovered a love that was greater than anything he'd ever known. He'd never cast himself in the role of a romantic hero, not even in his wildest dreams. But somehow, it seemed that he was playing that role in his life. He didn't need to dream about it.

He closed his eyes, sinking back against the soft velveteen fabric of the couch and closing his eyes. Who knew what was in store for the two of them in the future? For now, he was going to enjoy the time he had with the Doctor, and step forward into that future one day at a time.

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