Title: Don't Look Back
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Table: 20_est_relships
Prompt: 4, Past Times
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

The past was done. It was behind him. He didn't have to think about it again, didn't have to let his mind linger on all the mistakes he'd made. What good would that do, anyway? The Doctor was his present -- and his future.

Ianto propped his chin in his hands, his gaze moving around the kitchen of his flat. Hard to believe that the Doctor was here, that he was real and not just some figment of Ianto's imagination. It had seemed that way at first -- as though this was all a dream, some wonderful, hazy dream that he'd at some point be rudely awakened from.

But no, it wasn't a dream. The Doctor was asleep in his bedroom -- their bedroom, he corrected himself, a slow smile spreading over his features. Not his alone any longer. Now, he had someone to share it with. To share his entire life with.

They'd had their share of problems since they'd been together -- some of which would have been enough to make any other couple go their separate ways. But he and the Doctor hadn't given up on each other, even though there had been times when Ianto was sure they would.

How long had it been now? He was surprised to realize that they'd been together for nearly six months now -- which probably didn't seem like much time at all to the Time Lord. But to Ianto, that length of time together wasn't something he'd thought they could achieve.

He'd been with Lisa for much longer than that, he told himself, wondering why he would consider six months to be such a milestone. But that had been before he'd known what love really meant -- yes, he'd loved her, in a way. But the relationship with her -- and even the relationship with Jack after that -- had only been an entr'acte.

He and Jack had been together for a little over a year; plenty of time for things to happen, but not enough time to really know each other. And Jack had been gone for those few months, without a trace, leaving Ianto to wonder if he'd lost two people who he'd cared for.

Of course, Jack had come back -- but their relationship had swerved from the comfortable tracks it had been on not long after that. What he'd thought was so strong hadn't been able to hold up under the glaring scrutiny of living and working together, and it had been best to bring that to an end.

Ianto couldn't help but wonder just how Jack felt about his relationship with the Doctor; he knew that Jack had been involved with the Time Lord in the past, and he even had the sneaking suspicion that the immortal had been in love. But Jack had never confirmed that suspicion, and Ianto hadn't wanted to seem as though he was prying. So he'd left well enough alone.

Besides, what did it matter? Whatever had happened between Jack and the Doctor, whatever emotions they'd shared, that was in the past, as much as Ianto's relationship with Jack was in the past as well. The Doctor was with him now. That was what he had to focus on.

Their pasts had been rocky; the time they'd spent with others before they'd come together, as well as the time they'd been with each other. But they'd left the difficulties behind them -- well, so he hoped. Nothing had happened lately to make either of them feel troubled or threatened, but there was no telling how long that would last.

Ianto smiled as he let his mind wander over some of the more lighthearted times the two of them had spent together over the past six months. There had certainly been plenty of those, as well as the darker periods they'd been through.

Their first meeting, when he'd been so tongue-tied that he'd barely been able to string a coherent sentence togethe, and he was sure that he Doctor must have thought he was a complete moron. Oh, that had been lovely, he thought, with a mental groan and a shudder.

The days spent roaming through the forests of some distant planet, a place where the Doctor had said he went when he needed to feel rejuvenated. Ianto had certainly felt that way after those few days -- it had been a magical place, somewhere that he'd like to go again whenever the Doctor felt like taking him there.

The times they'd spent curled up together in the bed here in his flat, exchanging whispers of devotion and promises of forever. Promises that Ianto had every intention of keeping, no matter how he might have to turn his life around to be sure that he did so.

He didn't hear the Doctor come into the kitchen; when the Time Lord's hand grasped his shoulder, the young man gasped in surprise, his eyes widening, nearly jumping out of the chair. He relaxed when he realized who it was, shaking his head with an embarrassed laugh.

"Sorry, love. I think I'm being a bit too jumpy today. Blame it on an overload of coffee -- though you would think I drink so much of it that I'd be used to that by now."

The Doctor laughed with him, squeezing Ianto's shoulder affectionately and moving to sit down in the chair on the other side of the table. "And just why would you be jumpy? Anything in particular that's on your mind, something that's worrying you?"

Ianto could hear the unspoken worry under the Doctor's casual words; he knew that the Time Lord still had reservations about having a human lover, someone who would be thrown into the dangerous world he inhabited when he was traveling. But they'd talked about this, and Ianto hoped they'd managed to get past any residual fears the Doctor might still have for his safety.

He shook his head, meeting the Time Lord's dark, intense gaze, his own blue-grey eyes sincere. "No, not really. I was just thinking about our pasts, and thinking about how we've managed to put the worst of them behind us, even though we've certainly had our share of bad times."

The Doctor nodded soberly, sighing and looking down at his slender hands resting on the tabletop. "We certainly have. Loss has been the byword of our lives, hasn't it?" His voice held that sad tinge that it always took on whenever he spoke of loss, a sound that Ianto didn't like hearing.

"Yes, it has," he said softly, agreeing with the Time Lord. "But we have each other now, Doctor. Neither of us has to be alone again -- unless we choose to be. And I doubt that either of us will ever be willing to make that choice."

"No, we won't," the Doctor murmured, his gaze meeting Ianto's again. "I hope we won't ever have to. But you never know where the future will take us, Ianto. We should be prepared for any eventuality. Anything could happen."

"I know," the young man said softly, standing up and holding out his hand to his lover. "Still, that's not something we have to dwell on now, is it? We should be looking to the future, not brooding on the past. And if we do look back, we should concentrate on the good things and not the bad. We'd both be much happier that way."

The Doctor took Ianto's hand, letting his young lover pull him to his feet. "You're right," he said, a small smile curving his lips. "There's no sense dwelling on the bad in the past, is there? Especially when it can't be changed. Best to accept it and move on."

"Especially when you have a future with someone who loves you," Ianto whispered, pulling the Doctor into his arms and brushing his lips against the Time Lord's ear. "Someone who adores you and wants to make you as happy as you can possibly be."

"Now that is definitely enough to make me look towards the future," the Doctor laughed, closing his eyes as Ianto's lips met his.

What need did he have to think about the past and the mistakes he'd made? Ianto asked himself, feeling a warm sense of contentment sweep over him. He had his future right here in his arms -- a future that he was looking forward to more than ever.

***