Title: Until the End of Time
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Jack Harkness
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: 1, letter100
Prompt: 12, Content
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones, the Tenth Doctor, or Jack Harkness. Please do not sue.

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Dear Jack,

The last few weeks here on the Tardis with you have been incredible. For the first time since I've known you, I don't feel that I need to be cautious about giving you my heart -- or feel that you're unwilling to give me yours. I'm actually feeling that we're on level ground.

In all the time that I've known you, that's never happened before. I've never felt that the two of us were able to give our selves to each other completely, with no reservations. Before, there was always a feeling of caution, of uncertainty, on both sides.

I don't feel that caution any more. I'm surprised that I don't, because I've always known that you're not the sort of man who believes in fidelity, either emotional or physical. Especially the physical. I know this is a cruel thing to say, but I've never trusted you in that sense.

I think you'd be the first to admit that you've never given me much of a reason to trust you in the past. You loved me, yes -- but it was a shallow, superficial kind of love. I believe that you loved how I looked, rather than loving me for who I am.

But all of that changed after you left. We both went through our own personal dark nights of the soul -- and we've both come out on the other side, cleansed and seeing our relationship in a far different light than we ever could have if you had stayed with me.

If you had stayed, I think you would have eventually become so restless that your cheating would have been more and more obvious -- and I'd never have been able to forgive you for that. We would have both said things that we would bitterly regret later.

And I would have ended up asking you to leave. That would have been the end; there would have been no coming back from that, no matter how much we still loved each other. We both have too much pride to have forgiven each other after something like that.

I can't begin to put into words how glad I am that things didn't work out that way. Yes, it was painful to see you walk away from me. That still hurts to think about. But because you left in the way you did, that left the door open for you to return to me.

Ever since you've come back, I've felt so much more content than I did the first time we tried to make a go of our relationship. Yes, there have been times when I've felt that I couldn't trust you. But those were small bumps in the road, obstacles that we moved past.

More and more, I've come to feel that I can trust you. I've seen you give up what could, for you, have been interesting little exploits -- one-night stands that would have meant nothing at all to you in the long run, but would have widened the chasm between us.

You gave all of those up, Jack. And you did it in a way that made me realise how wrong I've been not to trust you since you've come back. It's hard for me to give that trust completely, after all that we've been through before. But I am trying.

You seem much more content now, too. I'd thought that there was a familiar restlessness overtaking you not long ago, and I was bracing myself for you to start cheating again -- and then to leave. I thought that it would simply be a repeat of the past.

Of course, if that had happened, it would have been the end. I was ready to forsake my pride and take you back once. But I couldn't have done it twice. So I was relieved beyond words to find out that the restlessness I thought I saw in you was all in my mind.

I don't want to lose you a second time, Jack. It hurt too badly the first time. If that happened again, I would never be able to give my hearts to anyone else -- but I could never give them freely to you again, either. We would both ultimately lose.

But now, you seem so content to be with me and only me that I have no fear of that happening. I don't know exactly what happened to change you, what sort of epiphany you might have had about your feelings for me and about our relationship. But whatever it was, I'm glad it happened.

I want to keep you happy and content. I want to feel that your wandering days are over, and that you're happy to settle down with me and be with one person for eternity. I know that's a hard concept for you, but you seem to have been able to grasp it at last.

I'm not trying to sound smug, Jack. I don't want you to feel that you're having to "settle" for a relationship if you truly don't want to be with just one person. But I think you do. I think that what we share is so special that you've decided it's enough for you.

I hope it is. I want the both of us to be content with our lives together, and not feel that either of us have to look outside of our relationship for any kind of physical intimacy. I want us to be enough for each other, from now until the end of time itself.

I honestly think that we will be. I can't imagine wanting to be with anyone but you -- and as you're such an inventive person when it comes to sex, I know that I could never be bored with you. I hope you'll never feel that I'm not living up to your sexual expectations, as well.

I'm content with our lives as they are now. I'm sure that we can expect a lot more adventure in our future -- I know very well that I'm a trouble magnet, and having you along with me probably only adds to that! But I'm certainly not complaining.

This is the way I want our lives to continue. I want us to keep loving each other, and being happy with each other. I want us to grow closer with every day that goes by. And from the way things have been going lately, I can't help thinking that my wish will come true.

Always your

Doctor

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