Title: Behind Every Breath
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: 1, fanfic50
Prompt: 15, Breath
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

Ianto awakened slowly, blinking in the dim light of the bedroom he and the Doctor shared on the Tardis. It hadn't taken him long to get used to that silvery light; it was a bit like having a night light turned on in the darkness, just as he had when he was a child.

The Doctor's breath was soft and warm against his throat; Ianto looked down at the man in his arms, a smile curving his lips. He loved seeing the Doctor like this, vulnerable and unguarded in sleep, the barriers that usually surrounded him lowered.

Of course, those barriers were never up against him. The Doctor had let him past those barriers from almost the first moment they'd met; later, he'd told Ianto that in all the long centuries of his life, he'd never lowered those walls so quickly before.

He himself had found any walls he might have hidden behind crumbling to the ground from the first time he'd looked into those beautiful dark eyes. There had been no way to hold himself back from the Doctor; he'd fallen for the Time Lord at first glance.

At the time, he'd thought that the Doctor might have come back to Earth specifically to see Jack -- but he'd been quickly disabused of that notion. The Time Lord had made his interest clear; Ianto couldn't doubt that the Doctor wanted to be with him.

But he hadn't been obvious about it, Ianto thought affectionately as he stroked his fingers through the softness of the Doctor's tawny hair. He'd simply been there, seemingly at Ianto's side whenever he had a free moment.

Ianto hadn't found that constant presence annoying -- instead, he'd found it soothing to have the Doctor there. He'd gotten used to it very quickly; he'd found himself wishing that the Time Lord would always be there, that he would never go out into the stars again.

That would have been a vain hope, he told himself with a wry smile. But to his surprise, when the Time Lord had left, he'd asked Ianto to come with him -- and he hadn't had to think about his decision. He'd known exactly what he would say.

In the space of a breath, he'd been swept away into time and space with the Doctor -- and he hadn't regretted a second of that time. He'd known from the moment he'd stepped into the Tardis that he was accepted here -- and more than that, he was wanted.

He'd never had that feeling with Torchwood, not completely. He had always felt that he was a member of the team only because of his office skills, and later because he was Jack's lover for a brief period of time. He'd never felt as though he really belonged.

With the Doctor, he'd never felt like that. There had only been a feeling of acceptance, of love and desire enfolding him in its embrace. He knew from the beginning that this man loved him exactly as he was, with no expectations.

When he'd been with Torchwood, there had been times when he'd felt that he almost had to hold his breath, lest he be told, indirectly or otherwise, that his opinion didn't matter, that he wasn't really part of the team. He'd walked on eggshells a good deal of the time.

Behind every breath he took, there had been a hidden fear that he really didn't belong there, that the camaraderie he'd found was only temporary. He'd always felt that he didn't entirely fit in, even when he'd been sharing Jack's bed and his life.

There was nothing like that marring his outlook on the world now. He and the Doctor had bonded in a way that he never would have thought possible before he'd known the Time Lord; their union wasn't only a meeting of hearts and bodies, but of their very souls.

Any fears he might have had about leaving his life on Earth, the one that he was familiar and comfortable with, to go off on a trip into time and space with the Doctor had melted away when the Time Lord had held out a hand and smiled at him.

In that instant, between one breath and the next, Ianto had known that this was what he wanted to do -- and that there would be no regrets, no need to come back and take up the threads of his old life. His life was with this man, wherever the two of them might happen to be.

The Doctor stirred slightly, snuggling closer to Ianto in his sleep. The young man smiled at the feel of his lover curled up close against his side, the other man's warm breath feather-light on his skin. A feeling of warmth and contentment began to steal over him.

No one else had ever made him feel like this. Not Jack, not Lisa .... what he had with the Doctor went beyond the mere four-letter word of "love." The Doctor was a part of him; he almost didn't know where he ended and the other man began.

Every time he woke up in the morning next to the Time Lord, he could swear that their very breathing had synched in the night. He could feel the rhythm of their hearts beating together, evenly matched, beat for beat from one body to another.

How many mornings had he laid here, in the same position he was in now, holding the Doctor in his arms and listening to the quiet susurrus of the other man's breath? Somehow, it was a sound that filled him with peace, a sound that soothed his soul.

The Doctor's breathing lulled him to sleep at night, and brought him into each day with joy in his heart. There had never been a lover in his life before who was this close to him, whose every breath was in tune with each of his own.

What did it matter that they were centuries apart in birth, and that they weren't even of the same race? He didn't care about any of that. Those were only superficial differences; they had no bearing on how he and the Time Lord felt about each other.

They'd both known from the moment of their meeting that they'd found the other half of themselves, the missing puzzle piece that completed them both. There had been no denying it, even if either of them had wanted to do so.

There were no doubts or fears with the Doctor; there was no feeling that he had to hold his breath or keep anything back. There was only love and acceptance, the knowledge that in spite of his flaws and weaknesses, he would always have that love.

He'd never need to feel that he wasn't really a part of the world he was inhabiting again. The Doctor made him a part of everything in his life, in a way that no one else ever had. He nestled comfortably in the Time Lord's hearts -- just as the Doctor rested in his.

Ianto closed his eyes, letting himself relax, the Doctor's soft breath soothing his soul and lulling him into a sense of calm tranquility. He fell asleep again with a smile on his lips, his own breath mingling with the Doctor's as they both found peace in slumber.

***