Title: Can We Still Be Friends
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Jack Harkness
Fandom: Doctor Who/Torchwood
Rating: PG-13
Table: doctorwho_100
Prompt: 21, Friends
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Jack Harkness. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor sighed as he leaned against the console of the Tardis, his chin propped in his hand. He'd only been gone from Earth for a few minutes, and he already wanted to go back.

He hated leaving that planet behind -- or was it that he hated leaving the friends he'd made there? One in particular, of course -- though that person had to be counted as much more than a friend, in some ways. Or at least at one time he had been.

If only things could have been different with Jack, he thought longingly. He'd wanted so badly for the other man to stay with him; he'd thought that he'd finally found someone who had the capability of staying with him forever, someone who wouldn't leave.

His mouth twisted in a wry smile at the thought. Yes, the one person who could stay with him always would turn out to be the person who didn't want to do so. That was ironic, wasn't it? Such an annoying little twist of fate, that.

They had ended their relationship long ago -- well, it seemed like a long time to him, but it really hadn't been. Still, that day was fresh in his mind.

Jack hadn't led up to saying that he wanted to leave -- he had merely said the words, point-blank, with no warning. The Doctor had felt as though his lover had given him a blow to the stomach, like the breath had been completely knocked out of him.

His first instinct had been to protest, to tell Jack that he couldn't go, but he'd managed to hold those words back. They wouldn't do any good, anyway; he knew that all too well. Once Jack had made up his mind about something, there was no stopping him.

And he wouldn't have forced the other man to stay with him. That was something he'd always felt very strongly about -- no one would be made to feel as though they somehow owed it to him to stay. He'd never force anyone to do that against their will.

So he'd watched Jack walk out of his life -- at least in the capacity of a lover. At least they were still friends; he supposed that was something.

But their friendship was an uneasy one at best. Though the Doctor tried not to feel resentful that Jack had decided to sever their intimate relationship, he couldn't be completely at ease with his former lover any more. There was too much left unsaid between them.

It wasn't that he wanted things to be that way, he told himself with an inward sigh. But it was impossible for him not to feel angry at times, and to lash out at Jack. That was only natural -- though it was a terribly human reaction.

He really shouldn't have expected Jack to stay. After all, he knew that it wasn't in the other man's nature to be faithful; Jack hadn't strayed while they were involved, and for him, that had been a huge concession. But it couldn't have lasted for much longer.

The Doctor couldn't help but wonder if that was one of the reasons Jack had decided to leave -- that he was simply tired of being with one person, and wanted variety.

He would never know, would he? Because he would never ask. He didn't want to hear the other man say that yes, that had been the reason -- or even part of it. He didn't want to know that he hadn't been enough, that Jack had grown tired of him.

The friendship was still there, as it has been in the beginning before the two of them had succumbed to the temptation to carry their feelings to another level. But even the friendship had drawn back, and become strained.

That was inevitable, wasn't it? The Doctor sighed and ran a hand through his hair, closing his eyes. It always happened when a relationship reached its end. He'd found that out in the past, and he should have known that it would happen this time as well.

It really shouldn't have come as a surprise to him that the friendship seemed to be growing much more distant; after all, that wasn't in Jack's line, either.

Jack always kept people at a distance, friends or not. The Doctor supposed that it came from having lived as long as he had -- and knowing that he couldn't die -- but it still seemed a strange way to treat people who wanted to be close.

He himself was more closed off as he grew older, but he had his reasons for that. Maybe those same reasons were there for Jack; after all, they both knew that the people they became close to would eventually leave them, whether by choice or by necessity.

There was really no reason for him to condemn Jack for feeling the same way as he himself did. He'd probably grown far too used to everyone around him having much shorter life spans than he did, and it was hard for him to fathom that Jack would probably live longer than he himself would.

But it was hard not to be angry at the immortal -- after all, Jack was the one man who give him the forever he craved, and he'd chosen not to.

He could still hear Jack's voice ringing in his ears, hear the words that he'd spoken when he'd turned back as he was walking out of the Tardis. He'd thought the words would be very different; he had hoped that Jack would say that he was making a mistake.

But he hadn't. The words had been something very different from what the Doctor had expected.

"Can we still be friends, Doc?" Those words had hung in the air between them, as the Doctor had tried to school his features into an expression that didn't betray his shock and hurt. "I still care about you, y'know. I don't want to lose that friendship."

He'd reassured Jack with a wavering smile that of course they were still friends, and always would be. That he didn't want to lose their friendship, either.

Deep down, that was true. If he couldn't have Jack as a lover, at least he would keep this man in his life as a friend. Though he had no idea how long it would be before that friendship would be as strong as it had been before they'd been involved, he was willing to try.

He'd had no idea how much it would hurt each time he saw Jack, how the knife would twist in him whenever he remembered all that had passed between them. All of the promises that Jack had made about staying, promises that he hadn't kept.

Oh yes, they were still friends. That might never change, but the friendship would never be the same; that was painfully obvious.

The Doctor sighed, straightening up and casting an eye over the console. He had no idea where he would go next, but he knew one thing. He wanted to take himself somewhere that wouldn't plague him with memories of what could have been.

That shouldn't be too hard. After all his years of traveling the galaxy, he had friends everywhere, and they could take his mind off the one friendship that he wished could be something more.

***