Title: From A Distance
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Ianto Jones
Fandom: Doctor Who/Torchwood
Rating: PG-13
Table: 2, letter100
Prompt: 37, Nostalgic
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Ianto Jones, unfortunately. Please do not sue.

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Dearest Ianto,

The longer that we're together, the more I feel that we were meant for each other, even though we were born on different planets, centuries apart, and you grew up not thinking that someone like me could possibly even be a real person.

That shadowy figure that I always saw in my dreams as being the man I would spend my life with, the man I would bond to and love forever, had to be you. It couldn't have been anyone else, the more I think about it. No one else could have lived up to that vision.

You've lived up to the vision I had of the man I wanted to be with, in every way. It's never mattered to me that you're human; even before you became immortal, I knew that I would always love you, and that no one else could possibly take your place in my life.

There are nights when I have dreams of what my life might be like if I had never found you -- and I wake up in a cold sweat, unable to sleep for the rest of the night. I'll just lie there and watch you sleeping, and thank every deity I can think of that I have you.

Is that a sign of terrible paranoia? Probably. But knowing how easy it would have been for us to lose each other when you were still mortal, I think it was justified. Now, I can relax a bit on that score -- though I still won't let you throw yourself into the path of danger for my sake.

Now that we both have the kind of immortality that neither of us have ever dreamed of, I suppose that we can both let our guards down a bit -- though I agree with your observation that this probably had a lot to do with the Master, so we can't completely relax.

Still, if our transformations into immortals (even if I did already have a measure of that simply by being a Time Lord) were caused by the Master, he certainly didn't intend to give us the good fortune we've been granted. So his plans have gone awry.

Even though I look forward to sharing the future with you, love -- a future that we can now both say will last forever -- I still can't help but look back with fondness and nostalgia on some of the times from our past. Times that we might not remember in a few centuries, or even a few years.

Not the times that put a strain on our relationship, or the times that we were apart by necessity. Those aren't the past events in our life together that I want to remember. I want to look back with nostalgic eyes on the times when we shared complete happiness.

That's been almost the entire time we've been together, hasn't it, sweetheart? I'm talking mainly about those times that we shared on Earth, in your Cardiff flat, tucked into bed and watching rain or snow fall outside, feeling as though nothing could touch us.

We were wrong about that, of course -- no matter how much anyone might try to hide from the world, no one can cut themselves off completely. There might be times when people think they'd like to do that, but it isn't feasible or realistic to think that they can.

I probably shouldn't be so nostalgic about that time in our lives, considering that it's in the past and that neither of us would want you to be human again and have a short life span compared to mine. But you have to admit that there were times for us that were sublime.

I don't miss the worry about protecting you -- though I'll always try to keep you safe, even if you don't need me to do so any more. And I'm not looking forward to seeing you die. Yes, I know that you'll come back -- but it's still not something that I want to experience.

There were never times when I looked back on my relationship with Jack and felt nostalgic for what we'd shared, even though I missed him when we first split up. It's different with you, Ianto. The times we've had together are a part of my very soul, the fabric of my existence.

Yes, the time I spent with Jack was good. I was in love with him for a while, and we were happy together. But we somehow both knew that it couldn't last -- and Jack even knew that he wasn't the man to spend eternity with me, even though for a while I thought otherwise.

But the moment I met you, I knew that anything I'd felt for Jack -- or for anyone in the past -- paled in comparison to what you and I would share. All it took was one look, one smile, and one touch of your hand, and I surrendered my hearts.

Was it the same way for you, Ianto? I can't help but think that it was; you and I have been so attuned to each other in every way ever since our first meeting that I'm absolutely positive you felt the same way I did, as though you were a part of me right from the start.

I might have a bout of nostalgia now and then for the days when we would lie in bed in your flat and dream about the future, but those days are long gone, and I wouldn't want to bring them back. I'm happy with who we've become, and I wouldn't change a thing.

There have been times in our past that haven't been perfect, but they've all gone towards making us the people we are now -- and I'm proud of who both of us have become in the time that we've been together. I'm sure that we'll both continue to grow and develop over time.

I wonder if I'll still look back on those days when you were still mortal and I knew that you would have a limited time with me and have such a nostalgic outlook on them? I can't help but think that I will; viewing memories from a distance does tend to make them look better.

But we'll create other memories that will be just as good, love -- and I'm sure that I'll look back on them years later with the same kind of nostalgia. Whatever those memories might be, I know that they'll be happy ones -- because I'll have shared them all with you.

Eternally your

Doctor

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