Title: Give Me Strength
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Table: 3, 50ficlets
Prompt: 35, Strong
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor leaned back in his chair, propping his feet on top of the Tardis' console and staring up at the ceiling with a small smile on his face. It was good to be able to relax, to let all the tension seep out of him and know that he had no worries.

That probably wasn't going to last long, he told himself wryly. There was always a new worry hard on the heels of the last one, but he managed to cope pretty well with whatever was thrown his way. After all, that had been his life for a very long time.

Of course, it was always easier to cope with the problems of being who and what he was when he had a companion by his side, as he did now.

His smile grew wider as he thought of Ianto. He wasn't just a companion; he was the Doctor's soul mate, the man he'd been destined to be with from the moment he first came into existence -- centuries before Ianto was even born.

Ianto was different from any other companion, or anyone else he'd ever known. He'd never shared this kind of bond with anyone -- and he'd certainly never taken his other companions as lovers. Ianto had changed the way he lived in so many ways.

Jack had been his lover, of course, but that had been completely different from his relationship with Ianto. As much as he'd wanted to deny the truth to himself, he'd known that Jack would eventually leave him. And Ianto would never do that.

Ianto had an inner core of strength that Jack would never have. He was strong emotionally, whereas Jack was nothing but a coward when it came to expressing his feelings.

The immortal had always run away from his emotions; he never expressed them openly and honestly. And for a while, the Doctor had been able to accept that. It had been his own way of behaving for longer than he could remember, after all.

That made Ianto much stronger than both himself and Jack, the Doctor thought, heaving a sigh. He was almost ashamed of the way he'd lived his life before Ianto, making sure that he kept his feelings hidden, never having the courage to let them have free rein.

But his young lover had changed him in that respect. Ianto had imparted some of that inner strength to him; even though he still kept his emotions guarded most of the time, with Ianto, he could express his feelings more more easily and naturally than he'd ever been able to before.

Ianto had given him a strength that he'd never thought he would have. Maybe others would see it more as a weakness, but he took a different view.

He hadn't always felt that way, the Doctor reflected as he gazed up at the ceiling without really seeing what he was looking at. Before the advent of Ianto in his life, he'd been wary of forming deep emotional attachments; he'd discovered all too quickly what they could bring him.

Pain. Nothing but pain and regret. Everyone he'd ever cared about had left him; it always seemed that whenever he grew to care about someone, no sooner had he begun to tentatively reach out to them than they had disappeared out of his life.

He'd always known that his human companions wouldn't be with him forever. But there had been so many that had turned and walked away long before he'd thought they would leave.

That had hurt more than he could put into words. Was being with him so hard for them to do? He had always known that they had lives to return to, but their time with him had seemed so short, a much shorter span than he'd expected them to give him.

Or was he just being selfish? He'd thought that for a while; he'd tried to adopt the attitude that he was simply destined to be alone, and to accept that fate for himself. But he'd never quite been able to do that, had he? He'd always wanted something more.

It had only taken him over nine centuries to find what he was looking for -- and in a human, at that. If anyone had told him years ago that a human would be his soul mate and teach him more about being strong than he'd thought he could possibly learn, he'd have thought they were insane.

That just proved how much he still had to learn, the Doctor told himself, swinging his long legs down from the console and standing up in one graceful movement.

He needed that particular kind of strength that Ianto gave him -- the strength to get past his fears and open himself up to his emotions, even though it meant taking the risk of being hurt. He'd closed himself off to that risk for far too long.

The Time Lord smiled as he heard Ianto's familiar step echoing in the corridor that led to the control room. He still had a long way to go to be as strong as he wanted to be, he thought as he turned to hold out a hand to his lover, but with Ianto by his side, he would grow stronger with each day that passed.

***