Title: Green
By: Flo Wynn
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mind. Torchwood belongs to RTD and the BBC.
Spoilers: Cyberwoman (1.4)
Summary: CRACK!FIC – Prompt fiction. Based upon prompt 10: Green.

***

"Jack!" Came the panicked cry of Ianto Jones from Jack's bedroom within the Hub.

"What is it?" Jack asked his young lover who was stood staring intently at something. Jack joined him and looked from the spectacle to Ianto and back again.

 

"It's green." Ianto finally managed to get out.

 

"Actually I think it's more of a turquoise colour." Jack corrected the other man.

 

Ianto squeezed his eyes shut and brought one hand up to his face and pinched the bridge of his nose in a classic ‘I have a headache' pose.

 

"It's green, Jack." He sighed, clearly upset about this.

 

Jack glanced at the offending item. "Turquoise." Jack argued.

 

"Turquoise is a shade of green, therefore it is green." Ianto explained very slowly as if to a child, but clearly the young Welshman's patience was wearing thin.

 

Jack shrugged. "OK, it's green." He agreed trying to placate his lover. "What's the problem?"

 

Ianto turned to stare in disbelief at Jack. "Jack, it's GREEN!" He yelled, gesturing wildly to the item of their discussion.

 

"And green is bad?" Jack said slowly.

 

"Yes!" Ianto exclaimed.

 

Jack nodded solemnly and turned to give the item a long look before pointing out, "if green is bad then why did you buy a green suit?"

 

"I didn't buy a green suit!" Ianto exploded. "I brought a beautifully tailored Armani suit made of black wool from the Winter collection. When I went to bed last night; it was still black. Now, it's green! Are you telling me you know nothing about this?" Ianto asked in exasperation.

 

At Jack's blank (if slightly amused) look, both men turned towards the entrance and shouted "OWEN!"

***