Title: Let's Go Forward
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: 4, 50episodes
Prompt: 4, Solstice
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

"It feels strange to be here again," Ianto murmured as he and the Doctor made their way through the glade of evergreen trees. "It seems like such a short time ago that we were here, carving our initials in 'our' tree. And now we're already back again to see them."

"But so much has happened to us in that time," the Doctor reminded his young lover, smiling at Ianto and squeezing his hand. "Our lives have changed a great deal, Ianto. And we both have so much more of life ahead of us now."

"We said that it would probably be years before we came back here to see those initials," Ianto mused, his voice distant with memory. "But I don't mind coming back now, at the solstice. It reaffirms our commitment to each other, in a way that we might not have done later."

The Doctor nodded, his demeanor becoming serious. "We need that, Ianto. After all that's happened in the past few days, we need to look at something that we did when we thought that our lives were going to be much shorter than it seems they'll be."

"We need to affirm that the connection between us is still just as strong as it ever was, don't we?" Ianto asked, his voice soft. "Though I don't think either of us doubts that, Doctor. I know that my love for you is never going to fade away."

"I know that, love," the Doctor answered, his voice husky. "My love for you is always going to burn just as brightly as it does now. But .... we need that affirmation. That knowledge that the two of us are forever, that we're meant to be no matter what might happen."

"The solstice is the day when the sun is supposed to stand still," Ianto continued, looking around them at the dappled sunlight filtering down between the trees. "It's almost as though our lives stood still for a few moments, isn't it? Maybe they still are."

"I wouldn't say that they're standing still," the Doctor said, shaking his head. "It's more that they've begun to move much more slowly. Even if things seem to happen to us quickly, one event right after the other, we've been granted so much more time than most other people."

"I'm still trying to get used to that feeling," Ianto admitted, sighing. "It doesn't seem quite real to me yet. I've easily been able to accept the fact that Jack is immortal -- but I've never for a moment thought that it could happen to me, too."

"Would you change it, if you could?" the Doctor asked softly, his gaze fixed on Ianto. The young man glanced at him, surprised to see what he thought was real anxiety in the Doctor's dark eyes. He hastened to assure his lover of his thoughts on the subject.

"No, no, of course I wouldn't change it." Ianto took a deep breath, closing his eyes. "In a way, this is what I've wanted ever since I met you. More time to be with you, the knowledge that my short human life span wasn't going to separate us far too soon."

"But everything comes with a price," the Time Lord told him, his voice wavering a little. "It remains to be seen just what that price will be. I only hope it's not something that's going to cause either one of us a lot more pain than we can withstand."

"I don't think that's going to be the case," Ianto told him, squeezing his hand reassuringly. "At least, I hope not. I know it's hard on you to see me die, Doctor -- but it may happen. But you know that this time, I'll be able to come back to you."

"It was hard enough watching Jack die over and over again," the Doctor murmured, not looking directly at Ianto. "And he wasn't my soul mate. Just imagining having to go through that with you, and wondering if this time you might not live again ...."

Ianto shook his head decisively, his voice firm when he spoke. "No, Doctor. We're not going to think like that. I've been granted immortality, just as Jack was. I'm going to come back if anything happens to me. I'm not going to doubt that ability. I can't. I have to trust it."

The Doctor took a deep breath, nodding as his gaze finally met Ianto's. "All right, sweetheart," he said softly, reaching out to brush gentle fingertips against his lover's cheek. "I have to agree with you. We'll just have to take a leap of faith with all of this, won't we?"

Ianto nodded, moving closer to the Time Lord and sliding an arm around his lover's waist. "Yes, we will -- but I don't think that leap is misplaced. After all, we both have to trust that what's happened to us is a permanent change for the better. We have to keep the faith."

"That might not always be easy to do, but I'll try," the Doctor told him, taking another deep breath and managing a smile. "I've already had to watch you die once -- and I was sure that I'd lost you forever. I'm not looking forward to going through that again."

"You just have to remember that I'm not dead for good," Ianto said, wishing that he had more encouraging words to offer. He didn't know what the Doctor had felt like when he'd known that his soul mate was dead -- but he knew how he would feel if the Time Lord died.

He would be devastated, his entire world torn apart in the blink of an eye. There would be nothing left for him in a world where the Doctor didn't exist. Even knowing that his love was in another body and that they would be parted forever would be better than knowing he was simply .... gone.

Ianto couldn't keep back a shudder at the thought; his life would be completely empty witout his lover by his side. He didn't want to even consider what it would be like to be immortal, to wander this world without any hope of being with the man he loved.

Jack had been relegated to that, hadn't he? And he had seen firsthand how miserable Jack was when he let himself think about his fate. He would live on, while all the people around him aged and died. No wonder he never let himself get too close to anyone.

The only man who he could have spent his life with was the Doctor -- and yet, he'd let the Time Lord go, knowing that they weren't meant to be. That had been a noble act on Jack's part, though it had taken Ianto a long time to realize that fact.

The Doctor gasped and pointed, drawing Ianto's attention in the direction he was gesturing at. There it was -- their tree, the one they'd carved their initials into only a few weeks ago. He was sure of it; no other tree could possibly look quite like that one.

They both moved forward more quickly towards the tree, the Time Lord reaching it first. He traced long, slender fingers slowly over the initials carved into the bark, over the heart that encased them, a smile curving his lips as he looked at Ianto.

"It's rather fitting that we should come back to this tree on the solstice, isn't it?" he said softly, his gaze holding the younger man's. "It almost feels as though the sun stands still on this day, Ianto. And our lives have been frozen in time -- they're standing still, in some ways."

"I hope they can stand still in some ways and move forward in others at the same time," Ianto said, his own fingers tracing over the carved initials. "We can't simply stand still and hope that our lives stay in stasis, Doctor. You should know that better than anyone."

"I do," the Doctor whispered, his gazed still locked with Ianto's. "And I hope that's true, Ianto. Maybe it's only our aging processes that are standing still, while our lives move forward. I hope that's the case, anyway. It would make our lives much easier."

"It would indeed," Ianto agreed wholeheartedly. "But we'll just have to find out if that's what our lives are gong to be like, love. We'll have to take it all one day at a time, and hope that time lets us go forward and gives us a very long time to be together."

The Doctor's hand met his own as their hands rested over the carved heart with their initials inside it, their fingers twining together and holding tight. Ianto found himself fervently hoping that his words would prove to be true, and that their time together would last far into the future.

***