Title: Lifeline
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Table: 50ficlets
Prompt: 32, Living
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor glanced over at where his young lover sat, concentrating on the book in his hands. He couldn't help smiling as his eyes took in the other man; all right, so maybe he was looking at Ianto with the eyes of love, but he couldn't be blamed for that.

Had he really been living before Ianto had come into his life? He didn't think so. Ianto had opened up so many doors for him; he'd never really opened his hearts to anyone before this man had come into his life, not even Jack.

Really, his relationship with Jack had been more about hiding his feelings, rather than bringing them out into the open. But that was over and done with.

He'd been terrified to be too openly emotional with Ianto at first; he'd thought that the young man would pull away, that he would be like Jack and question him as to why he was like that. But he'd found out quickly that Ianto wasn't like Jack, not at all.

No, Ianto warm and understanding and loving and .... and wonderful. He'd never known anyone else like this young man, this man who he wanted to keep by his side forever. In all his centuries of living, he'd never felt like this about anyone he'd known.

All right, so it was odd to have these kinds of feelings about a human. But shouldn't he be used to being something of an oddity? After all, he wasn't fully Gallifreyan. And he'd always been an anomaly, even when he'd lived amongst his own people.

No other Gallifreyan had been so fascinated by humans. He was the only one who'd insisted that the Earth had to be protected aggressively, rather than the Time Lords hanging back and simply watching whatever might happen there.

That certainly hadn't made him popular with others of his race, he told himself wryly. It had only set him apart from them all the more.

But he hadn't cared. He'd wanted to give humans a chance to live and grow; it seemed only fair to him. Though of course, he'd been accused of having a bias towards them because of his own mixed ancestry. He'd denied that, but he hadn't been believed.

Still, he hadn't been relieved of his duties as a Time Lord. He was too valuable to the Elders; he'd been far too dedicated for them to let him go easily. But they hadn't been able to control him, to make him do everything they'd wanted of him.

That had certainly caused some problems, the Doctor reflected, yet somehow he'd always managed to stay on the good side of the High Council. Maybe it was because they knew they needed him more than he needed them.

If they could see how he lived now -- with a human for a lover, sharing the Tardis with him as much more than a mere temporary companion -- they would be shocked and dismayed. Perhaps they'd even be disgusted, thinking that he was a disgrace.

He'd certainly heard that enough when Gallifrey still existed. But he'd always ignored the people who had that attitude towards him -- or at least he'd tried to.

Sometimes the thought of how he'd been ostracized by his own people still hurt. He would never have the chance to prove their opinons of him wrong; Gallifrey was gone forever, his people vapirized, all that he'd known on his home planet destroyed.

And he had to live with the fact that he'd been the one to implement that destruction. He'd lived with that guilt for a long time, and he'd probably carry at least some vestiges of it for the rest of his life. It would never completely disappear.

But now that he had Ianto, that guilt was easier to live with. He hadn't really been living when he'd met this young man, only existing, drifting through his life without any real sense of purpose.

Ianto had made him take an interest in life again, made him realize that he couldn't let his guilt over Gallifrey devour him. Even Jack hadn't been able to pull him out of that; the immortal had too much of his own guilt weighing him down to assuage anyone else's.

He'd begun to live again when he'd met Ianto, more so than he ever had, even before the destruction of Gallifrey. Ianto was his lifeline, the person who'd drawn him back into the light from a darkness that had at one time threatened to swallow him whole.

He'd never be able to repay his lover for all that he'd done. All he could do was give Ianto his love and devotion, for the rest of his days. The Doctor had no idea how long that might be, but he intended to make the most of all the time they had.

Standing up, he moved towards the couch with a smile, holding out a hand to Ianto. They had a lot of living to do -- and he couldn't wait for them to get started.

***