Title: Love This Life
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: 5
Prompt: 5, Beach
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

This felt familiar, being on a beach with Ianto.

The Doctor couldn't help but smile, thinking back to the first time he'd stood on a sandy beach looking out over what seemed an endless expanse of ocean. That had been the morning after he'd found out that Ianto had been the person sending him flowers and love notes ....

Look at how far they'd come, he told himself. They'd been through so much together in the months since they'd first discovered each other, and they'd grown closer than he'd ever have imagined. Ianto had changed his life in so many ways -- all for the better.

This didn't feel like deja vu, even though he could clearly remember how he'd felt when he'd been here before. Well, maybe it hadn't been this particular beach .... but it was close enough. It had the same feel about it, the same peaceful aura.

Where was Ianto? The Doctor lifted a hand to shade his eyes, anxiously searching the stretch of sandy beach for a glimpse of his young lover. Ah, there he was, standing by the water's edge. He really should leave the Tardis and join him.

As the Time Lord moved away from the ship, Ianto turned to watch him, holding out a hand and smiling as the Doctor approached.

"This brings back a few memories, doesn't it?" he said softly as the Doctor moved to his side, taking the Time Lord's hand in his. "I can remember the first time we were on a beach together. It seems hard to believe that I barely knew you then."

"It seems hard to believe that there was ever a time when you weren't in my life," the Doctor murmured, wishing that his words were completely true. He could easily remember a time when Ianto hadn't been a part of him, though that time seemed long ago.

"I'd prefer not to think of the time when you weren't with me," Ianto said, turning his gaze towards the ocean, contemplating it as though he was looking for something in the deep blue waters. "I don't think I really discovered who I am until I was with you."

The Doctor laughed softly, sliding an arm around Ianto's waist and leaning against him. "I seem to be some kind of life-changing experience for people," he joked, shaking his head. "Most of my companions have said something similar to that."

"But I'm more than a companion!" Ianto protested, a hint of laughter in his tone. "At least, I should hope so. This --" He reached for the pendant that he always wore, his fingers closing around the opaline stone. ".... proves it. I wouldn't have this if I didn't mean more to you."

"That's very true," the Doctor told him, reaching for his own pendant, his fingertips stroking the surface of the stone. "I'd been waiting for the right person to give it to."

"What would you have done if you'd never met me?" Ianto was curious about that; he had no idea what the Time Lord would have done with that pendant if they'd never crossed paths. Would he have given it to someone else, or kept it to himself?

The Doctor shook his head, a slight frown on his face. "I honestly don't know," he said, looking out at the ocean and shrugging his shoulders. "I doubt I would have given it to anyone else. It wouldn't have felt right .... it would have been better for me never to have parted with it."

"I hope that I've managed to live up to the faith you put in me when you gave me this," Ianto said softly, feeling a lump rise in his throat. He swallowed hard, pushing that lump back to allow himself to speak. "I'd never want to disappoint you."

"You never have, love," the Doctor answered, turning to gaze at his lover. "There's only one soul mate, Ianto. If I'd never found you .... then I never would have found the person I'm meant to be with. I could have ended up looking for you all my life, and never finding you."

"That's good to know," Ianto told the Time Lord, twining their fingers together and giving the other man's hand an affectionate squeeze. "There've been times when I've thought I didn't live up to your expectations of me, you know."

The Doctor shook his head, frowning. "That's never been the case, Ianto. I don't expect you to be some sort of perfect companion or perfect lover. You are .... who you are, that's all. I accept you exactly as you are. I wouldn't want you to change anything about yourself."

"Except possibly my fear of going camping out in the country?" Ianto suggested, a soft laugh bubbling up from his throat. "I know it must be a little annoying to have me being so paranoid any time we're in that sort of situation."

The Doctor couldn't keep from laughing along with his lover. "All right, so that's one thing that I'd like to be a bit different. But I can hardly blame you for feeling the way you do."

"That was an experience I don't care to repeat," Ianto said, sobering at the thought of it. "And if something like that were to happen again -- I don't know if I'd be able to protect you. That's what scares me more than anything else."

The Doctor sighed, taking a few steps towards the water that frothed up onto the wet sand. "Ianto, I'm not made of glass. You don't always have to protect me, you know. I've been taking care of myself since long before you were born. I'm not helpless."

"I know that," Ianto murmured, moving forward to wrap his arms around the Time Lord's waist from behind and pull the Doctor close against his body. "I suppose it's just an instinct of mine to want to protect the people I care for. Especially the one who's most important to me."

"I'm the same way," the Doctor admitted, relaxing into his lover's arms. "But, Ianto, you have to realise that I'm not some spun sugar concoction that's going to fall apart at the first sign of trouble. I'm stronger than I look. Well, most of the time, anyway."

Ianto was at a loss for words; he hadn't realized that the Doctor felt this way. His first reaction was to deny that he was overprotective, but that wouldn't exactly be the truth, would it?

"I'm sorry," he finally whispered, his breath warm against the Doctor's cheek. "I'll try to remember that I don't always have to be your knight in shining armour -- but I have to admit, I like playing that role for you. It's always good to feel needed."

"And I'll always need you," the Doctor murmured, leaning his head back against Ianto's shoulder and closing his eyes. "You're my soul mate, you know. Just because I don't always need you to protect me physically doesn't mean that I don't need you in other ways."

"You'll always have me," Ianto told him, wishing that could be completely true. The Doctor would only have him for as long as his human life span lasted. He could spend the rest of his life with the man he loved -- but the Doctor couldn't spend the rest of his life with Ianto.

That was how their lives would be, he told himself firmly, pushing the thought away. He'd known that ever since he'd first become involved with the Doctor. He had to learn to accept it, whether he liked it or not. There were some things that couldn't be changed.

And they had a good life together, Ianto reminded himself, his thoughts going back over the time they'd already shared. It hadn't been perfect, and they'd had their differences already -- but it was the life he'd chosen.

It was the only life he wanted. And he was a lucky man to have a life that he loved.

Ianto loosened his grip on the Doctor's waist, stepping back a bit and taking the other man's hand in his own. "Come on," he said softly. "Let's enjoy the beach while we're here. I've always wanted to watch the sun go down over the waves with you."

"That sounds like a marvellous idea," the Doctor agreed, smiling and taking his hand. "Though I have a feeling that 'going down' could apply to more things than just watching the sun."

"I believe you might have just read my mind," Ianto said with a grin, pulling the Doctor into his arms and laughing along with him. Oh yes, this was definitely the life he wanted to live, for as long as he was lucky enough to have it.

***