Title: Love Under Glass
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: 1, 50scenes
Prompt: 5, Glass
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

Ianto sighed as he looked over at the Doctor bending over the console of the Tardis, intently studying a readout. He wasn't sure just what his lover was looking at, but whatever it was, it seemed to absorb all of his attention at the moment.

He himself still didn't know much about the various readouts on the ship's console; he'd learned a little, as the Doctor had wanted him to know some things about controlling the ship, but he was far from being knowledgeable about the workings of the Tardis.

There were so many things in the Doctor's life that he didn't know about, he reflected, his eyes following the Doctor's movements. He didn't know much about his lover's past, or the lives he'd lived before he'd been in this body. So many years unaccounted for.

Sometimes he even felt that he didn't really know what went on inside the Doctor's brilliant mind. The Time Lord's eyes would take on a dreamy, faraway look when they were talking now and then, and he would know that the other man was in a place in his mind where he couldn't be followed.

The Doctor tried to include Ianto in everything he did, but there were some things that the young man didn't have a grasp of yet, and there were times when he wondered if he ever would. Maybe he would always feel like an outsider looking on at what he didn't understand.

Ianto sighed again, shifting his position on the couch and resting his elbows on his knees as he studied his lover. He didn't have to know everything that the Doctor was doing and thinking. Everyone needed to have some privacy, some of their own personal space.

But there were times when he felt that he was under glass, kept behind thick barrier that would always separate him from the Doctor. It wasn't a barrier of the Time Lord's making, or his own; it was simply something that their differences would always ensure was between them.

He hated feeling that he was separated from the Doctor in any way. Their emotional bond was so intense that he was becoming to feeling the Time Lord as a presence in his life at all times, even when they weren't physically near each other.

No other lover had ever made him feel like this, as though he wanted to be a part of them in every way, to be absorbed in everything they did. Was that too much closeness? he wondered, his eyes following the Doctor's movements. Was he asking too much?

He'd learned to keep to himself when he was involved with other people; Jack hadn't wanted him to get too close, and he'd struggled to keep from wanting to insinuate himself into Jack's life as more than just a lover. It hadn't been easy, but he'd succeeded.

Of course, that was because Jack had only let him in to a certain degree. No matter how hard Ianto had tried, he'd only been able to get close to the immortal to a point, before a door had slammed pointedly in his face and he hadn't been able to advance any further.

It was a warning to keep out, to let Jack's emotions work in their own way. Ianto had respected that; he had backed off and not kept trying to get closer, evne though he'd felt that it had put a wedge between the two of them.

And he'd been proven right in the end. That lack of closeness was one of the things that had caused his relationship with Jack to wither and die, and there was no way he was going to let that happen with the Doctor. The Time Lord meant too much to him.

His relationship with the Doctor was far different from what he'd shared with Jack, Ianto told himself, trying to keep his inner voice firm and steady. They were already closer in every way than he'd ever been to the immortal; they'd had a firm bond with each other from the beginning.

Besides, the Doctor wasn't the kind of man who wanted to keep to himself. He might have been that way with other companions in his life, at least about certain things in his past -- but Ianto was far more than a companion. He was the Doctor's lover, his soul mate.

Then why did he feel this barrier between them, worry creeping into his heart and his mind that the two of them were somehow separated by some sort of invisible barrier that he would never be able to tear down, no matter how hard he tried?

Ianto gasped when a hand fell on his shoulder; he hadn't realized that the Doctor had come over to him. He'd been so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't kept his eyes on the Time Lord; his lover was standing in front of him, looking down at him with a slight frown on those handsome features.

"Ianto, is something wrong?" the Time Lord asked, sitting down beside his young lover and turning to look at him. "Don't tell me that everything's all right. I can sense that you're troubled -- and whatever is bothering you, I want to know about it."

He was startled to hear that the Doctor had been able to sense his feelings; if the Time Lord could do that, then why couldn't he sense what the Doctor was feeling? He wasn't a telepath, but their bond should allow him to do that.

"Why can't I --" he began, then took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. "I've been thinking that it feels as if there's some sort of barrier between us, Doctor," he mumbled, looking down at his shoes and not meeting the concerned look in those dark eyes.

"And you're wondering why you can't seem to get past that barrier," the Doctor said softly, taking one of Ianto's hands in his own. "I can't feel a barrier, Ianto. I've opened myself to you completely. If there's a barrier, then I think it's coming from your own mind."

"I-I feel like I'm behind some kind of wall that I can't cross over," Ianto blurted out, raising his head to look at the other man. "There's something cutting me off from you, little by little. I can feel it, Doctor. Like there's some force that wants to keep us apart."

"Ianto." The Doctor moved closer to him, sliding both arms around Ianto's waist and pulling his young lover close against his thin body. "Is there really a barrier there -- or it something that you've created with your own mind because you're afraid of losing what we have?"

The young man fell silent, considering the Doctor's words. Maybe the Time Lord was right. Maybe he was letting this mythical barrier build up in his own mind, and it didn't really exist. It was just his own worry about their relationship not lasting that was creating problems.

His love for the Doctor wasn't being forced under glass. There were no barriers between himself and the man he loved. The Doctor was right; the only barriers were the ones that he'd been creating in his own mind, letting his worry about the future get the better of him.

Ianto took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. "You're right," he murmured, feeling ashamed of himself. "I've been worrying too much about what we could be -- and not concentrating enough on what we are. I need to stop doing that."

"If you ever feel that there are barriers going up between us, then tell me," the Doctor said, his voice soft and husky. "I don't ever want you to feel that way, Ianto. I don't want you to feel that you can't talk to me about anything."

"No more barriers. I promise," Ianto told him, pushing the unsettling thoughts to the back of his mind and slamming a mental door on them. "No more feeling as though I'm loving you from under glass. If I start feeling like that again, I'll talk to you about it."

"Good." The Doctor smiled, squeezing Ianto's hands and standing up. The younger man got to his feet, glancing towards the console. "Care to show me what you were studying to intently over there? I was wondering what it was that held your attention."

"I thought you'd never ask," the Doctor replied, taking Ianto's hand and leading him over to the console. Within seconds, the two men were bent over one of the viewscreens, the Doctor explaining what they were looking at as his boyfriend listened intently to his words.

***