Title: Nights Are Forever
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Jack Harkness
Fandom: Doctor Who/Torchwood
Rating: PG
Table: 1, 50ficlets
Prompt: 18, Night
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Jack Harkness. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor rolled over onto his back, staring up at the ceiling of the Tardis. It seemed as though he'd been lying here in bed for hours, and he was still just as wide-eyed as he'd been when his head had first touched the pillow.

He'd been having this same problem every night since Jack had departed to go back to Torchwood. He'd become so used to having someone in bed with him that he was now finding it impossible to sleep without Jack there, sleeping next to him.

This was ridiculous, he told himself as he sat up, pummeling the pillow with one small fist. There was no reason for him to need the feel of someone beside him to make him feel safe and comfortable.

He hadn't had that comfort for a long time before Jack, so why should he feel the need for it now? It wasn't as though he expected it.

At this rate, he was never going to get any sleep.

Not that he really needed that much rest, the Doctor mused, leaning back against the pillows again and trying to get comfortable. He needed much less of it than humans, and he'd always considered that to be a good thing.

His body would eventually tire and he would have to sleep. But he never needed more than a few hours' sleep at a time; not like humans, who didn't seem to be able to function properly unless they had what he considered to be an astounding amount of rest.

He'd thought that his lack of a need for sleep was one of the advantages of being Gallifreyan -- until he'd discovered how pleasant it was to curl up next to Jack and allow himself to fall asleep in the immortal's arms.

That had been a revelation, finding out just how much he enjoyed sharing that kind of closeness with Jack. He hadn't expected to feel that.

And now, he was discovering just how much he missed that closeness.

He missed being held, feeling secure and loved. He missed the soft susurrus of Jack's breathing near his ear, the beat of that single heart in Jack's chest. He missed the feeling of warmth and comfort, knowing that someone cared for him.

That had meant so much to him when he'd had it -- but he'd never told Jack just how he felt. Not in so many words, at any rate. He'd always assumed that the other man understood instinctively that he was loved and needed.

Maybe that was where he'd made his biggest mistake. He'd never told Jack how he felt, and the immortal had assumed that those feelings didn't exist.

The days had been so long since Jack had left. Days that seemed to go on forever, time that would stretch out in front of him in an endless litany of days that would never go by fast enough. Empty days that he would go through without Jack by his side.

But the nights were the hardest.

The nights were endless. Sometimes he felt that he'd never get through them; the darkness had never seemed to close in around him and suffocate him as it did now, when there was no Jack at his side to wrap him in warmth and affection.

He'd had a hard time getting through the nights ever since the first one he'd spent alone after Jack had departed. They seemed to drag on endlessly, the darkness finally giving way to light before he'd even attempted to close his eyes.

The nights were forever. He hadn't thought they would seem so long, hadn't though they would be so hard to get through.

But that was how it would be from now on, the Doctor told himself with a sigh, shifting restlessly and trying to find a cooler spot on the pillow. He might as well get used to it. Jack was gone, and he wasn't coming back.

It was his destiny to be alone. He knew that; he always had. His loneliness would follow him throughout the rest of his life. It was something he had to accept, though Jack had been a small glimmer of hope in an ever-increasing black void.

Eventually, he'd be pulled into that darkness. It was inevitable, without Jack there to help him.

Sighing, he turned over onto his other side, slipping his hand beneath the pillow and closing his eyes resolutely, hoping that sleep might finally come.

***