Title: Nostalgia
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Table: 3
Prompt: 37, Nostalgic
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

"Do you ever think about the past? I mean, the past before you met me?" Ianto asked the Doctor, looking up at the other man over the console of the Tardis.

The Doctor looked started at the question; he'd been bending over the console, studying it intently as though he was trying to decide just where to take them next. Ianto's words had broken into the silence, and he couldn't help but wonder if he should have kept quiet.

But the Time Lord didn't look annoyed; on the contrary, he just looked .... thoughtful. After what seemed like a long time to Ianto, he nodded, sighing and straightening up rather than leaning over the console again.

That was always an indication that the Doctor was willing to talk about things from his past, and that was a subject that never failed to interest Ianto. It wasn't that he was trying to pry -- but the Doctor had so much in his past, and Ianto didn't feel that he could ever learn enough about the man he loved.

"Yes, of course I do," the Doctor began, sighing again. "I have so much in my past, Ianto. It would be impossible not to let my thoughts drift in that direction sometimes. Though the bad memories have a tendency to come out more than the good ones."

The young man's brow furrowed; the last thing he wanted to do was to make anything that would upset the Time Lord surface in his thoughts.

"It's nothing for you to worry about, Ianto," the Doctor hastened to assure him, seeing the consternation on his face. "I don't think anyone with the sort of past I've had can completely put away the bad memories. But you being here is helping me to do that."

"I'm glad," the young man told him, moving to the other side of the console, closer to the Time Lord, and wrapping his arms around the other man's waist from behind. "I don't want you to brood on the unpleasant things that have happened to you."

The Doctor leaned back against him, sighing softly and resting his head against Ianto's shoulder. "You're not upsetting me, you know," he said softly, raising a hand to place it against the young man's cheek. "It's just that I .... have a tendency to focus on the bad things at times. I shouldn't do that. I've had a lot of good experiences in my life, too."

"Those are the ones I want to hear about," Ianto told him, stroking a hand through his hair. "The good things, the things you're nostalgic about and enjoy remembering. I want to know abuot the places you've seen, the things you've done."

"There are plenty of good things," the Doctor said, his voice sounding a little dreamy, as though his thoughts were far away from the present.

"Everyone has their good memories," Ianto agreed, wondering if the Time Lord wanted to talk about his past now. He was certainly willing to listen; he hadn't expected an outpouring at this moment, but he wouldn't turn away if the Doctor wanted him to listen.

"I've got lots of those." The Doctor cleared his throat, sounding more focused. "But this isn't really the time to talk about them. Not that I don't want to, but .... I'd rather do that when we're more relaxed and I can sit and tell you about my memories for hours."

"I think that gives me an idea of what to bring up the next time we're cuddling in bed," Ianto laughed, bowing his head to brush his lips against the Time Lord's cheek. He was disappointed that the Doctor didn't want to talk now, but he could understand why not.

"Nostalgia hasn't ever been something I let myself give in to," the Doctor said in a musing tone. "I suppose that's because before you were in my life, I didn't want to think about the past. Especially happy times. That just made it all the harder to be alone."

"You're never going to be alone again," Ianto murmured, his lips against the Doctor's hair. "I'll see to that."

The thought immediately came to his mind that of course that wasn't a true statement; he knew well enough that his idea of forever was nothing like the Doctor's. Of course he couldn't prevent the Time Lord from being alone at some point. He wouldn't live forever.

But that was nothing he had to worry about now. Ianto firmly pushed the disquieting thought out of his mind, shutting the door on it. That was another worry for another time; at the moment, he wanted to focus on the Doctor, not on his own concerns.

"I haven't told you much about Gallifrey, I know." The Doctor's voice was sounding dreamy again, as if his thoughts had drifted off. "You would have loved it, Ianto. It was so beautiful. The burnt-orange sky, the dual moons .... there were so many places there I would have liked to show you, places that meant a great deal to me."

He'd never heard such naked longing in the Doctor's voice before. The tone, the way he spoke, made Ianto's throat tighten; it was obvious from the way he sounded how much he had loved his home planet, and how much he missed it.

"Whenever you're ready to tell me about it, I want to hear," he said softly, hoping that the Doctor was finally ready to talk more about the planet that had been his home. He hadn't pushed for information about Gallifrey yet, but he'd been curious about it for a while.

He knew how badly it hurt the Doctor to know that he had been the one to cause Gallifrey's destruction -- and how that guilt weighed on the Time Lord's mind. There had been times when Ianto thought the melancholy he still felt over that decision would break him, though he'd seemed to put the memories of his home out of his mind lately.

Ianto was glad of that. The last thing he wanted was for the Doctor to sink into that melancholy; he'd seen only too clearly how easy it would be for the Time Lord to give himself over to regrets of the past, and he was determined to keep that from happening.

"I'd talk about it now -- but this isn't the time," the Doctor said, his tone becoming brisk. "When we're a bit more settled, then I want to tell you all about Gallifrey -- about my childhood. About my time knowing .... certain people and places, when they were different."

Ianto knew that he was referring to the Master, but he didn't dare mention the name. That was one thing that he knew would plunge the Doctor into a bad mood.

He could hardly blame the Time Lord for that. After all that they'd both been through at the hands of that monster, Ianto didn't much like to think of him, either. But it would be interesting to hear about what what he'd been like in the far-distant past.

What had he been like when he was young, when he and the Doctor were friends, before he'd become the twisted, warped maniac that he was now? Ianto couldn't imagine that; it was hard enough to imagine the Master being a child.

But at one point, he'd been young and innocent; he'd been the Doctor's friend, rather than his worst enemy. They hadn't been at each other's throats; they'd been close, caring for each other. It was nearly impossible for Ianto to wrap his mind around that.

Still, he could hear about that later; the Doctor obviously didn't want to talk about it now, and he'd respect that wish. And he was right -- now wasn't the time. There was plenty of time for that later, when he was in a more expansive mood.

"Whenver you're ready to talk, love, I'm here to listen," he murmured, brushing his lips across the Doctor's forehead. He was gratified to hear the Time Lord sigh softly and feel that slender body relax into his arms.

"I promise I won't keep you waiting long, Ianto," the Doctor said softly, finally disengaging himself from his young lover's embrace to lean over the Tardis' console again. He eyes scanned the various buttons and gauges, as though he was studying the readouts.

"Are you looking for some new place to take us?" Ianto inquired, standing behind the Doctor and looking down at the controls. He'd never manage to understand all of this, not if he could travel with the Doctor for a hundred years, he thought to himself.

The Time Lord nodded, turning to him with a smile. "Yes -- some place that I can be nostalgic about, that will bring back good memories for me. And that will perhaps create some new ones for you -- for the two of us."

"That sounds marvelous," Ianto said, breaking into a smile as he wrapped his arms around the Doctor again, wondering just where their travels would take them next. Wherever it was, he was sure that the memories they created there would be good ones.

***