Title: Only Human
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: R
Table: 20_est_relships
Prompt: 15, Reflection
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

Ianto lay quietly beside the Doctor, feeling his heart rate starting to slow down. It had gone from the rapid gallop of immediate post-orgasm bliss to a more steady beat, but it was still thimping hard against his chest, his breathing heavy.

Next to him, the Doctor's reactions were nearly identical; but the Time Lord had two heartbeats rather than one, he told himself with a smile. That didn't bother him; in fact, he rather liked it. There was just more there for him to listen to -- and love.

Maybe someone else would have found it odd, or strange, or even disconcerting to hear those dual heartbeats under their ear when they rested their head on the Doctor's chest. But Ianto found it comforting, even peaceful.

Those twin heartbeats reassured him that his lover was alive and well, that the Doctor was solid and real and that he wasn't leaving any time soon. It seemed that every other lover Ianto had found in his life had left -- whether by choice or not.

But the Doctor was different. He was Ianto's soul mate; the two of them belonged together, bound to each other in a way that he'd never dreamed possible. He could no more contemplate leaving the Doctor than he could think about ripping out his own heart and still surviving.

He'd have no heart without the Doctor, he thought to himself, closing his eyes. If this man wasn't beside him, that steady beat would fade away to nothingness.

Their entire relationship had been like this, ever since the beginning. From the first moment he'd seen the Time Lord, he'd felt drawn towards the other man; his heart had turned over in his chest when he'd gaze into the dark depths of those incredible eyes.

Had there been a time since he'd first seen the Doctor that he hadn't loved him? Ianto didn't think so. He'd never been one to believe in "love at first sight," but now .... he couldn't deny that there had been an immediate attraction between them.

When he'd been involved with Jack, that had been a case of seeing the person he thought he loved as a reflection of what he himself wanted to be -- until he'd found that his lover had feet of clay. That had turned him off to relationships completely, or so he'd thought.

But the first time he'd seen the Doctor, something had leaped within him; some spark that he'd thought he had buried forever had jumped to the surface, demanding to be brought to life. He hadn't been able to hold it back -- nor had he wanted to.

Their entire relationship had been one of more equality than he'd ever shared with anyone -- it had been a meeting of hearts, bodies, and souls, rather than one person leading and the other following. They were lovers, partners, soul mates in every way.

Would that have been possible with anyone else? He didn't think so; no one had ever needed him in the way that the Doctor did.

And, admittedly, he'd never needed anyone as much as he needed the Doctor, either. In his other relationships, he'd tried to make himself strong, to distance himself somewhat from the other person, to have a side to his life that was for himself alone.

With the Doctor, he'd felt no need to do that. He'd wanted to share everything about himself and his life with the Time Lord, from the first time he'd admitted to the other man just how much he was wanted and needed.

Ianto was jerked out of his musings and back to the present moment when the Doctor snuggled against him, resting his head on the young man's chest and sliding both arms around his waist. He smiled, ruffling the Time Lord's hair as he spoke.

"Does it feel strange to you to just hear one heartbeat?" he murmured, saying the first thing that popped into his mind. He'd never been good at post-coital conversation; but the Doctor didn't seem to mind that he was somewhat lacking in the pillow-talk department.

The Doctor shook his head, settling more comfortably into Ianto's arms. "No, not at all," he said, sounding a little surprised that his lover should have asked such a question. "I've gotten used to it since we've been together."

He'd had practice with getting used to a human heartbeat, a voice in the back of Ianto's head piped up. After all, he'd had other human lovers ....

Ianto pushed the thought away as quickly as it had sprung to life. The Doctor was over 900 years old; of course he'd had other lovers before Ianto. He certainly hadn't been saving himself for the man who'd be his soul mate; he couldn't have known that Ianto would be the one.

They both had some experience behind them; they'd both been in relationships, they'd both loved, they'd both been hurt. But they were together now, and for Ianto, that was all that mattered. The past was over and done with, and not something to dwell on.

He could reflect on his own past -- and the Doctor's -- all he wanted, but he couldn't change it. He had to look towards the future -- their future, together, and what they would make of it. All that had gone before had led them to where they were now.

"I'm glad you have," he said softly, wrapping his arms around the Doctor and pulling the Time Lord close against him. He needed to feel that slender body in his arms; he needed to know that the Doctor was here, that he was his.

"Ianto, you're suffocating me!" The Doctor's voice was muffled, but there was a playful edge to it that Ianto recognized. He was trying to lighten the mood; the Time Lord could obviously tell that his lover was drifting into melancholy thoughts.

It was ridiculous for him to be thinking this way, Ianto told himself sternly. Especially after they'd just made love.

Too much reflection on what was already over and done wasn't a good thing, that voice in his head told him again. How many times had he heard that voice, and not paid attention to it? Maybe it was time to start doing so.

After all, he couldn't be any happier than he was now. He had the love of his life in his arms, their relationship grew stronger every day, and if some of the other parts of his life didn't seem to work .... well, one couldn't have everything.

Laughing, he loosened his grip on the Time Lord, tilting the other man's face up to his and bowing his head to brush a kiss across those temptingly parted lips. "All right, all right. No more thinking about things that I can't change."

"We all think about things in our lives we wish could have been different," the Doctor said softly, his dark eyes fixed on Ianto's face. "But it doesn't do any good to brood on the past, Ianto. I think you've learned that better than most humans."

"I'm not brooding," Ianto protested, shaking his head. "Just .... reflecting on the fact that we came to each other when we both had some experiences behind us that made us the people we are. Maybe we're stronger for all of that."

"We both know what we want -- and need," the Time Lord murmured, stretching his lean body out against Ianto's. "And I know what I need at the moment."

"Again?" Ianto's eyes widened in mock surprise. "You just had that."

"That doesn't mean that I can't want it again!" the Doctor told him, sitting up and pushing the covers back. "But we could always try something a bit different this time."

Ianto blinked as the Time Lord moved to straddle him, placing his hands on his young lover's chest and looking down at him with a taunting smile on his face. "I don't think you've ever taken me this way before."

"You know, I think you're right," he answered, looking up at the other man and trying to affect an innocent, wide-eyed look. "I'm not sure that I'm up to this, you know. I'm only human, after al."

"Oh, I don't think you'll have a hard time," the Doctor told him, squirming on top of him. Ianto had to bite back a groan at the sensation of the Doctor's firm bottom pressing against his hardening cock. No, he definitely wasn't going to have a problem with this.

Any thought of the past was driven from Ianto's mind at the sight and feel of the Time Lord's nude body on top of his own. The past was far behind them both, and the present was looking very interesting indeed.

***