Title: Save A Prayer
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: 20_est_relships
Prompt: 5, Forgiveness
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor looked up at the facade of the church they were passing by on the Cardiff street, frowning and stopping in his tracks. Ianto stopped and turned around when he realized that the Time Lord was still standing there, staring at the building.

He retraced the few steps that he'd taken, standing beside his lover and looking at the church, squinting in the sunlight. To him, it just looked like any other of the churches that were scattered around the city; there was nothing particuarly special about it.

His brows raised in question when the Time Lord turned to him and asked a question that he'd never thought he would hear from this man.

"Ianto, do you pray?"

The question actually startled him a bit; he hadn't thought that would be something the Doctor would concern himself with. He'd never thought of his lover as having any beliefs of that sort, but then, he'd never asked about Gallifreyan religious beliefs.

He shook his head, feeling a bit uncomfortable as he looked up at the facade of the building again, trying to see it in a different light. But try as he might, he couldn't see anything there but a building that he didn't have any interest in.

He'd never been particularly religious, though his father had insisted that his children be raised as Catholics. Ianto had stopped going to church from the moment he'd been able to move out of his parents' house, glad to have that out of his life.

"No, I've never been of a religious bent even when my parents made me go to church when I was young," he finally answered, glancing at the Doctor. "What makes you ask?"

The TIme Lord shook his head as well, shrugging and turning away from the church. "I just realised that I'd never asked you if you had some belifs in that direction," he murmured, as though the question was negligent and didn't matter.

"I've been an atheist most of my life," Ianto told him, reaching for the other man's hand. "Is there some reason you wanted to know? Not that I have anything in that department to hide -- and you know I don't keep anything from you, anyway."

"I know you don't," the Doctor replied, looking over at him with a fond smile. "I suppose seeing that church made me feel a bit guilty that I'd never asked about that part of your life -- and a bit curious as to whether you ever prayed for my safety when I was gone."

Ianto looked down, feeling a blush creep over his face. "The truth is, I did pray that you'd be safe and come back to me when we first met and you spent time out there without me. I was terrified every time you left that I'd never see you again."

"So you did pray for me?" The Doctor squeezed Ianto's hand, his voice soft and husky. "I wouldn't have expected that of you."

"Not necessarily to the deity that I was raised to pray to," Ianto said, shaking his head with a wry smile. "To any deity that I could think of -- and probably to some that don't even exist. I wanted any assurance I could get that you would come back to me."

"I always will, you know." The Doctor stopped and turned to him, oblivious to the people whose path they were blocking and who had to walk around them. "But hopefully, I'll never have to be parted from you again."

"I certainly hope not." Ianto ignored the muttered oath from a man who had nearly walked into them, wrapping his arms around the Doctor's waist and pulling him close, there in the middle of the street. "What brought that question up?"

The Doctor looked down, his cheeks reddening; it was a few moments before he answered the young man's question. "I .... I wondered if it would do me any good to pray for forgiveness. I've never really done it before. It's an interesting concept."

"It's a human concept, isn't it?" Ianto said softly, hoping that no one around them would hear; but fortunately, it seemed that the crowd had already surged past, leaving them alone.

"Yes, very much so. Though there are too many different religions and gods scattered throughout the galaxy for me to even begin to tell you about them," the Doctor told him, sighing. "I've never believed in any of them -- even the ones from my own planet."

Ianto decided that this wasn't the time to question the Doctor about whatever his beleifs might have been at some point; it seemed to be something of a sore point with the Time Lord, and besides, he was more interested in what the other man had said earlier.

"What do you mean by praying for forgiveness?" he asked, keeping his voice soft and hoping that the Doctor wouldn't feel that he was prying. "Are you still feeling guilty about the past? You shouldn't, you know. You did the best you could."

The Doctor disentangled himself from Ianto's embrace, though he twined his fingers through his young lover's as he turned to continue waking slowly down the street. "I've done what I thought was right at the time -- but those decisions haven't always turned out for the best."

"But you did what you thought would be the best thing at the time," Ianto argued, refusing to let the TIem Lord give in to that guilt. "You can't be blamed for that."

"No, maybe not -- but there are things I'll always blame myself for." The Doctor sighed, shaking his head. "I can't expect you to understand, Ianto. I know that you want to -- and I wish you could. But it's too complicated to try to explain where that guilt comes from."

"You can't blame yourself for the destruction of Gallifrey," Ianto said firmly, wanting to get that subject out of the Doctor's mind. "Yes, you may have been the one who ultimately destroyed the planet, but those were circumstances beyond your control."

The Doctor nodded, looking reluctant to accept the fact, but doing so nonetheless.

"You're right, I know .... but that doesn't stop me from feeling guilty," he sighed, squeezing Ianto's hand again. "But thank you, love. Knowing that you don't think I made a bad choice means a great deal to me."

"Of course I don't," Ianto said softly, pulling the other man close against his side as they walked along and slipping an arm around his waist. "You had no choice, Doctor. It was Gallifrey -- or the universe. I know it wasn't an easy decision for you to make."

"No, it wasn't." The Doctor sighed again, glancing over at Ianto. "Do you still pray to those deities? The ones that may or may not exist?"

Ianto started to shake his head, but the blush that flooded into his cheeks betrayed him. He'd promised to always be truthful with his lover, hadn't he? And even though this was a somewhat embarrassing admission, he might as well cop to it.

"Yes, I do," he murmured, wishing that the blush would go away. "Every time we're headed into a situation that I think might be dangerous, I pray to them to keep you safe -- to keep us both safe. To make sure that you're not taken away from me."

He almost didn't want to admit to it, but he was determined not to keep anything from the Doctor. This was the man he loved, the man he meant to spend the rest of his life with -- and there was no reason to hide anything of his life or his beliefs.

The Doctor's next words surprised him.

"Save a prayer for me, will you?" the Doctor asked him softly, his voice barely audible. "I might need to use one of them someday."

"Of course I will, love," he replied, his voice husky and thick from the lump that had suddenly risen in his throat. "And I'm sure that those deities are much more likely to listen to someone like you than they would to a mere human."

The Doctor shook his head, leaning over to press a kiss to Ianto's cheek. "You're no mere human, Ianto Jones. Not to me," he murmured, his tone leaving no room for comment as they moved down the street, back into the crowd of humanity that thronged the city.

***