Title: A Question Mark
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Table: 20_est_relships
Prompt: 13, Questions
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

He hated having so many questions about the man he loved.

Ianto sighed, sitting up in bed and propping his head on one hand. He regarded the man sleeping next to him, a smile crossing his features as he did so. He loved looking at the Doctor while he slept; that was the only time that he was able to study the Time Lord without his lover knowing it.

He had so many questions he wanted to ask the Doctor; questions about his past, the places and the people in it. Questions that he knew the Time Lord wanted to avoid.

How could he blame the Doctor for wanting to put the past behind him? Of course he didn't. He had incidents in his own past that he wanted to forget about, too. The Doctor was helping him to do that, though some of the things that had happened to him were going to linger for a long time to come.

The Time Lord had far more troubles in his past than Ianto could ever have. He realized that, and he didn't want to push the other man for answers to questions he'd rather not answer. But Ianto was beginning to feel that he had to know more about this man than he'd already been told.

Did that mean he was prying where he wasn't wanted? He hoped not. The last thing he wanted to do was to make the Doctor feel that he demanded doors be opened that should remain closed. But he was in the dark about too many things.

Why exactly did the Master have such a vendetta against the Doctor? What had their relationship been, before it had turned sour? And did he really want the answer to that?

He sighed again, reaching out with a gentle hand to brush back a lock of tawny hair that had fallen into the Doctor's eyes as he slept. He could understand why the Doctor would want to put the more painful aspects of his past life behind him. And he could respect that decision.

But dammit, he was the Doctor's lover. Didn't he have a right to know about his mate's past? Wasn't that a large part of what loving someone was about -- sharing the troubling, painful things with them, and letting them try to help you heal?

If that kind of healing was what the Doctor needed, then Ianto was more than willing to do that for him. He would do whatever he could to help the Time Lord put the demons of his past behind him -- but first, he had to know just what those demons were, and how best to go about slaying them.

There were other questions, too. Just why had the Doctor and Jack decided to end their relationship? Even though it had happened quite a while before Ianto had known the Time Lord, he still had an insatiable curiosity about their reasons for parting.

Ianto sighed again, closing his eyes and trying to push his questions to the back of his mind. He really didn't have a right to pry into the Doctor's past like this. And the last thing he'd want to do was make the Doctor feel that he was being pushed for information that he might be reluctant to give.

What if his questions made the Doctor angry? That was another thing he wanted to avoid. He'd never been on the receiving end of the Time Lord's wrath -- but he'd seen it in action enough to know that he didn't want to be.

And what of the Doctor's own questions? Ianto was sure that he would have them, as well. Was he himself willing to talk about his past, the feelings he'd had for other people, the relationships he'd been in?

He bit his lip, considering. He'd already told the Doctor about Lisa -- and for the first time, he'd been able to tell the story dispassionately, as though it had happened to someone else. The pain he'd thought he would always feel, the guilt that had haunted him for a long time, was no longer there.

That was the Doctor's doing. Since the advent of this man in his life, he'd been able to make peace with the past, even with the more painful aspects of his life. He'd finally been able to let go of things that he'd thought would always be with him, and he was grateful to the Time Lord for that.

So he was going to repay the other man with questions, queries that wouldn't be easy for him to answer, dredge up incidents that might be as painful to the Doctor as talking about Lisa had once been for him. With an inward groan, Ianto dropped his head back onto the pillow.

He had no right to do that. He wouldn't want the Doctor to probe into parts of his life that were still healing, that he was still learning how to cope with. The Gallifreyan more than likely had areas of his past that were exactly like that -- still raw, still healing, not yet resting comfortably.

Ianto sat up again, propping his elbows on his knees. He'd have to put his questions aside, wait until the Doctor actually wanted to talk about his past. He didn't want to push his lover to reveal more than he was comfortable with; he wouldn't have wanted anyone to do the same to him, after all.

Beside him, the Time Lord stirred, sighing softly in his sleep. Ianto smoothed a hand down his bare shoulder, pulling the covers up protectively around the other man.

He wouldn't want to talk about his own relationship with Jack; that was something that he felt didn't need to be brought into his present relationship, something that was over and done. So he certainly didn't have the right to question the Doctor about his time with the immortal.

A weight seemed to lift from him when he came to that conclusion, and Ianto took a deep breath, smiling as he did so. It didn't matter what their pasts had been like, not at all. The important thing was their future -- the future that they had together.

Almost as though on cue, the Doctor stirred again, his eyes opening and a smile curving his lips as he looked up at Ianto. "You're up early, love. Couldn't sleep?" he asked, a slight frown crossing his features. "I thought you seemed a bit restless last night."

Ianto smiled, shaking his head as he looked down at his lover. "No, I was just thinking about us. About our future," he said softly, reaching out to brush back a lock of hair that had fallen over the Time Lord's eyes. "And about how lucky I am to have a future with you."

"I'm the lucky one," the Doctor murmured, sitting up and leaning against Ianto as the younger man slipped an arm around his slender waist to pull him into a hug. "But I think that's something we wouldn't manage to agree on, so let's not get into a discussion about that, shall we?"

Ianto laughed, leaning forward to press a kiss against the Doctor's soft hair. "Agreed," he said lightly, throwing back the covers and swinging his long legs over the side of the bed. "I'm going to take a shower. Care to join me?"

The Doctor was out of the bed almost before Ianto had finished speaking. "That sounds like a marvelous way to start the day."

He slid his arm around the Doctor as they left the bedroom, a smile on his lips. His questions about the past could wait for another time; they weren't important. And really -- the fact that the Doctor was here with him, a part of his life in the present and future, was the only answer he needed.

***