Title: Writing To Reach You
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: 11
Prompt: 15, Love Letter
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

"Do you remember those first love letters you sent me?" the Doctor asked Ianto as they snuggled in bed together. He didn't know just why he'd been thinking about those first notes he'd gotten from his lover, but they had been on his mind for a while.

"Of course I do." Ianto laughed softly, pulling the Time Lord closer against him under the covers of their bed. "I was surprised that the Tardis would let me sneak into her to leave them -- but she had to know that something good would come out of it."

"She did indeed," the Doctor agreed, a smile curving his lips. "If she didn't, you would have been locked out, no matter how good your intentions were."

"Do you think she could sense how much I loved you?" Ianto questioned curiously. "I've always wondered about that. I didn't realize it at the time, but it seemed as though she was .... being very encouraging about me continuing to leave those notes and flowers."

"If she didn't know then, she certainly knows now," the Doctor replied with an affectionate smile. "Of course she knew, Ianto. She's a sentient being, and she's a part of me. She can sense when someone in her vicinity has that kind of devotion to me."

"Before I met the two of you, I would have thought it was impossible that a ship could be sentient," Ianto murmured, shaking his head. "Even with all the strange things I saw in Torchwood. But with the Tardis, the idea doesn't seem odd at all."

"She's capable of changing attitudes about many things," the Doctor told him, sounding more serious. "She isn't just a ship, Ianto, and she isn't just a .... a being .She's my home, and she's my protector. If it wasn't for her, I'd have been dead many more times than I have been."

Ianto winced at the Time Lord's words; he didn't want to think about his lover leaving this world. It wasn't a though he wanted to have to deal with at the moment, not when they were comfortably curled up together in bed.

The Doctor sighed, closing his eyes and resting his head against Ianto's chest. "I'm sorry, love. I know that topic upsets you. Let's talk about something else, shall we?"

Ianto nodded, only too happy to get away from the subject of the Doctor's demise -- premature though that topic might be. "What about those love letters?" he asked, his tone curious. "Is there some reason you mentioned them?"

The Doctor smiled, stretching his lean body out next to Ianto's. "No, I just had them on my mind, that's all. I kept them all, you know. Even though I didn't know who they were from at the time, the sentiments were beautiful and touching."

The young man blushed, his arms tightening around his lover's waist. "They were more than just words, you know," he said softly, his tone sincere, his words warm. "I meant every bit of what I said. Even before I knew you, I knew that I loved you."

"I knew that I had an attraction to you unlike anything I'd felt for anyone else," the Doctor told him, wanting to say more romantic words, but also wanting to be honest. "At first, I didn't know it was love. But I realized it very quickly."

"How long did it takeyou to be sure of how you felt?" Ianto asked, the curious tone still in his voice. "Was it the first time we kissed?"

The Doctor shook his head, a smile spreading over his features. "No, it didn't take that long. I think I knew it when I hid in the Tardis and waited for the next mysterious flower and love letter to be put there -- and discovered it was you sending them."

"You knew in your hearts, but your mind didn't want to admit it." The words were as much of a question as a statement; it was as if Ianto had some idea of how he'd felt, but he wanted to hear it from his lover's lips, to be sure that he was right.

Well, he could certainly give his lover that assurance. "That's exactly it, Ianto. My hearts knew at the start that I loved you -- but my stubborn mind didn't want to admit that I could give myself so completely to anyone. I was afraid of being hurt again."

"You should have known that I would never hurt you, even at the beginning," Ianto said, his tone holding a hint of reproach. "Given that you're a telepath, you should have been able to look into my heart and see that for yourself."

"I did," the Time Lord said softly, his eyes meeting the young man's. "I was just afraid to admit it. And afraid to acknowledge that someone could care for me that deeply. It was terrifying at the same time that it was exhilarating. You see .... I was afraid of losing you, too."

"Losing me?" Ianto sounded puzzled, his brow furrowing into a frown. "But you'd only just realized that we loved each other .... why ...."

The Doctor waited, sure that Ianto's active brain would manage to put two and two together and come up with the correct answer. It only took his boyfriend a few moments to do so; Ianto nodded reluctantly, sighing softly and shaking his head.

"You were afraid of having the Master find out how you felt -- or some of your other enemies -- and risking losing someone else you cared for," he said softly, raising a hand to stroke the Doctor's hair. "I don't blame you, after all the people you've lost in the past."

"Not just that," the Doctor sighed, closing his eyes and shifting slightly in Ianto's embrace. "I was terrified of the knowledge that I'd finally found my soul mate -- and that by loving you, I could put you into more danger than you'd ever been in."

"But that didn't stop you from loving me," Ianto pointed out, his voice hushed.

The Doctor shook his head again, raising his head so that his gaze could meet Ianto's. "I couldn't have stopped myself even if I'd wanted to," he whispered, his voice choked with emotion. "I knew when I saw you standing there in Tardis holding that rose that it was too late to turn back."

"I'm glad you decided to take the chance," Ianto told him, his own voice trembling a little with the force of his feelings. "If you hadn't .... then I think both of us would have led very lonely lives, and neither of us deserve that."

"I wouldn't have wanted to live my life with more 'what ifs,'" the Doctor agreed. "And I wouldn't have wanted that for you, either."

"It's strange how something as small and seemingly insignificant as an anonymous love letter can bring two people together," Ianto mused, smiling again. "And they really weren't proper letters. Just notes, little snapshots of how I was feeling."

"Then you should write me a proper love letter!" the Doctor told him, laughing, glad that the tension of the last few moments seemed to have dissipated. "With expressions of beautifully romantic sentiments. The sort of thing you see on Hallmark cards."

"Would you really want that?" Ianto laughed, hugging him. "I'd be writing to reach you, Doctor, not some audience of people who have to use that sort of thing to express feelings that they can't get out otherwise."

"I don't need to read those kind of things in a letter, really," the Doctor murmured as Ianto tilted his face upwards. "I know tht they're in your heart -- and that's all I need to know. Though it would be nice to see them written down sometime."

"Then I'll do that," Ianto said as he bent his head to capture the Time Lord's lips with his own in a heated kiss that took the other man's breath away.

He didn't need words -- not when Ianto kissed him like that. His lover's actions told him everything he needed to know about Ianto's feelings, and as the kiss went on, he was more and more sure of what Ianto had in mind for the near future.

He was positive that it would be a very long time before the two of them came up for air.

***