Title: Sentencing
Author: bigtitch
Rating: PG
Pairing: gen
Disclaimer: I don't own these guys. And anyway, it's all RTD's fault. If he hadn't created Captain Jack I wouldn't be writing this.
Note: For Katja, for iconage and handholding above and beyond the call of duty. Thanks to Chris for the wonderful (as ever) betaing.
Summary: A missing scene in Episode4. Cyberwoman.

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The cleanup took hours. Tosh and Gwen dealt with the bodies and the main part of the hub, while the men dismantled the cyber-conversion unit. It wasn't strictly necessary, but Owen had been adamant that nothing of it remain. Through all of it Ianto worked silently, sunk in a misery so deep that even tears were beyond him.

Eventually they were done and they all stood by the base of the fountain.

"That's it, people. Thank you." Jack said. "Ianto and I will finish off. The rest of you go home, get some rest, come in when you can."

Gwen and Tosh turned to go immediately. Owen looked like he was going to say something, but evidently thought better of it and followed the women. The door rolled shut behind them.

"C'mon," Jack said. "Let's get this over with."

Ianto expected to be taken to the cells, but instead Jack led them back to the storage room that had been Lisa's home for so many months. He held the door open and indicated that Ianto precede him into the room. Ianto walked past him and went over to the spot where he had found Lisa's body. He stood looking down at the place where all his dreams and hopes had died. He had no more tears left to shed, he just felt empty.

"I haven't had time to go through the rule book," Jack said behind him. "But I think the trick will be to find a rule you haven't broken."

Ianto said nothing.

"Would you like to pick one?" Jack asked.

Ianto thought back to the Torchwood regulations. He shrugged. "'Gross misconduct resulting in the invasion of Great Britain by a hostile alien force'?" he suggested in a hoarse, dull voice, the first thing he had said in hours.

"That about covers it," Jack said. "What is the sentence for that?"

"Summary execution," Ianto said, understanding. "Don't worry, sir. I know what to do." Without turning, he knelt down and put his hands behind his back, and waited for the bullet that would end this.

"Is there anything you'd like to say?" Jack asked softly.

What more do you want of me? Ianto was exhausted, with a pounding headache and he felt hollowed out by the night's events. Then he thought of his colleagues, of Tosh and Gwen and of the look on Owen's face when they'd found the mutilated body of Dr Tanizaki. "Tell them I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sorry I lied to them. I'm sorry for the deaths. I'm sorry that I couldn't," he hesitated, "I didn't see how it had all gone wrong. And that when I did, I couldn't put it right, I didn't kill her." He paused. "But I'm not sorry I tried. I'm not sorry I tried to save Lisa. She deserved that. For everything that she was to me and everything she gave to Torchwood, someone had to try. That was my fault, my responsibility. I'll accept the consequences." He closed his eyes and waited.

"You're wrong," Jack said. "It's my responsibility. My base, my team, my watch. I carry the can."

Surprised, Ianto turned round. Jack stood there, his hands in his pockets, no weapon in sight.

"I'm not your executioner, Ianto," he said.

"What?"

"I thought I'd learned the lesson from Suzie, people keeping secrets" Jack said and grimaced. "Evidently not well enough. But one thing I have learned. I don't want to lose you. You're too important to the team."

Ianto wanted to collapse in hysterics, to scream "Now you care!" at Jack, but it all disappeared into his internal void. Even the thought that he was going to live made no emotional connection in him. He staggered to his feet.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Go home, get some rest, come in when you feel up to it."

Ianto looked at Jack. There was no softness in the way Jack looked at him, no sympathy, but no unkindness either. Ianto nodded and walked out into the corridor, hearing Jack close and bolt the door to the empty room behind him.

+++

Ianto lay on his bed, but sleep was out of the question. His thoughts raced after themselves. He was consumed with the idea that Lisa had just been playing him along from the moment he had pulled her out of Torchwood Tower, waiting for a chance to 'convert' him and the world. But then he would remember things she had said, what she had been and he doubted that. Only to doubt his doubting. Round and round his thoughts went, getting nowhere.

Eventually, the need to escape them propelled him upright and into the shower.

+++

Back at the Hub, Jack was standing at the boardroom window. He acknowledged Ianto's arrival with a nod.

Gwen was standing next to Jack, the only other one to make it in. Ianto knew she'd want to talk. She'd be sympathetic. He didn't know if he could handle that. Didn't know if he could handle meeting any of them.

Still empty, he looked around. Pizza boxes. Black bin bag. These he knew what to do with. The rest could wait.

The End

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