Title: Shopping
By: noxx22000
Paring: Jack/Ianto
Rating: G
Summary: Jack's trying everything not to pay for his groceries.

***

"So let me get this straight," The cashier said, placing the tomatoes in the bag, "there's a rift in space and time… it's running right under my cash register which means if I press the total button the world will go to hell? That's the reason you're not going to pay?"

The American man shook his head as the girl beside her snickered, "No, there is a rift in space and time, but it's cracked, one of those cracks runs under your register."

She leaned over the counter to look at the floor at the man's feet, "That's funny, it looks more like a crack in the concrete to me."

"Do you believe in aliens?"

The girl standing next to her said, "Do you want me to go get the boss?"

She shook her head, "Nah." She turned back to the man in period military, "I'll bite, yeah, I suppose so. I mean, I cried through ET, laughed through MIB, loved Independence Day and got bored as hell watching Taken. But what does this have to do with the 22.50 you owe me?"

Jack sighed, "I work for a Government Organization-"

"Who obviously need their vegetables right?"

"Yes-"

"So you better pay up before you all fade from exhaustion."

"Look, there's got to be something I can do-"

Her brow furrowed, "Are you propositioning me Sir?"

Jack perked up, "Would that work?"

"I'm sorry, but not if you were the last man on Earth. Stop smiling at me like that."

Just then, the automatic doors to the Fruit shop opened up and a man in a sharply pressed charcoal suit walked in, cheeks flushed and looking as if he'd run here.

Ianto smiled at the girls and Jack watched the two of them melt just a little bit, "Hi girls."

"Hi Ianto." They chorused.

"I hope Jack hasn't been too much trouble, how much does he owe you?"

"Twenty two fifty."

Ianto pulled a walled out of his suit jacket and Jack exclaimed, "Hey! That's mine!"

"Yes, I know that." Ianto said as he handed over the money, "And if you hadn't left your phone in the car you would know that too."

And as the two men headed out of the store with their purchases, the girls could have sworn they heard Ianto saying, "You see? This is why you don't do the shopping!"

***