Title: Studs N' Showers
By: Craig
Pairing: suggested Jack/Ianto & OMC/OMC
Fandom: Torchwood
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Russell Davies owns Torchwood, Joss Whedon created fiction, E4 is responsible for Skins and HBO produced Oz. This is nonprofit fanfic.
Summary: Four men and the Torchwood men's shower block, as well as lecherous conversations, courtesy of a certain displaced denizen of the 51st Century. Lots of heat, steam and banter.

***

As the heavy hitter members of Torchwood Three padded into the shower block, Jack Harkness cast a roving eye as his companion deftly stripped and bundled his clothes into the shower. Good thing that 'everything changes' means that Big Blond has no nudity inhibitions whatsoever.

"Ah, Cam. So firm, so tight, so roundly packed."

"So inaccessible to you, Jack matey. You can look but you can't touch."

"Why are you such a boring 22nd Century ecoprude?"

"Ask Rex. We're naked all the time at our place. Stop smiling at me that way. I can't help it if I'm solidly monogamous, it's what we're hardwired for back uptime. And hey, prude? Incidentally, does Ianto know about that cephalopod porn that you've got stashed in your alcove?"

"Er, no. Nicely deflected. There. What say we grab a few beers later, buddy?"

"I never say no to grabbing a good organic beer, but you're not grabbing my arse, Harkness."

As Cam slid his shower door shut, Jack sighed:

"Is this because you've got an inferiority condition over your body? We can't all be big boys."

"Say what? Is this about the weight you've gained?"

"No, it's about 'Little Jack.'"

"Oh, right. Never mind Jack, it must be awful that I'm the big man on base now."

"Excuse me? Granted, you are impressively proportioned, but I'm the biggest man around here."

"Hah! In denial, too."

"Ianto! Measuring tape!"

"Rex! Double check!"

***