Title: Torchwood Cluedo
By: Harkness and Jones
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Ianto and Jack, in the vaults, with a bicycle stand and an odd comment. The odd comment is interpretational.

***

"My Ianto what a big bicycle stand you have."

Ianto stood up and turned to face Jack, his expression unimpressed.

"That's not funny."

"Come on Ianto, don't be such a spoil sport. You never complain…."

"That's enough." Ianto interrupted, but the corners of his mouth twitched. He turned around, and bent back down to continue fiddling with that looked like a broken bicycle stand.

"But, what are you doing?" Jack asked, walking up and looking over Ianto's shoulder.

"I'm setting up a Weevil fitness program."

Jack raised an eyebrow. Ianto, without looking up said "You know you've rather dashing when you do that.

"Why thank you. The view's not too bad from here either," Jack replied leading back on his heels, his eye line dropping down Ianto's back. "But, Weevil fitness, what are we now, 'Wee-fit'?"

"Wee-fit, we take the evil fat out of weevil."

Jack chuckled. "The tea boy has a sense of humour."

Ianto stood up, "You should know that by now, sir."

"And I still get shivers every time you say that."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I think talking about having an erection to your employees counts as sexual harassment."

Jack, amused, held Ianto's challenging gaze. He looked down. "And the bicycle stand?"

"I though I'd give it to Gwen. It seems a bit unfair, you know, she's getting a bit podgy and the competition would hardly be far if she was fat."

"What competition?"

Ianto ignored Jack's bemused look. "But if you'll excuse me, sir, I think I hear the files calling." He grinned knowingly and strode passed Jack towards the door at the end of the corridor.

"WHAT COMPETITION?" Jack yelled after him, but Ianto had already left the vaults.

***