Title: The End Is Where We Start From
By: hobbit985
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG
Summary: In the aftermath of 'Exit Wounds' Jack and Ianto comfort each other as they deal with the losses Torchwood has suffered.

***

It was bitterly cold but it didn't matter. He couldn't feel anything right then anyway. He was completely numb. The only reason he was sat on the edge of the wooden pier was because he couldn't stand to be in the Hub any longer. It was too…

He shivered slightly, trying not to think. It was easier to forget if he just didn't think about anything. Of course, it was hard. Especially since he was sat on the edge of the same pier that Owen had…

He swallowed hard and blinked several times, but there was no need. He was too drained to cry. Emotionally and physically. He didn't hear the footsteps, or feel the coat draped around his shoulders, but he knew it was Jack.

Ianto didn't have to look at him to know that Jack had sat beside him, looking out over the bay. They sat in silence for a long time, Jack curling his fingers around Ianto's frozen hand.

"Are you ok?" Jack asked finally.

Ianto glanced at Jack but didn't answer. He hadn't spoken in hours and he wasn't ready to start again. Not yet.

"Perhaps I should re-phrase that," Jack squeezed Ianto's hand lightly; not sure if the other man could actually feel his fingers anymore. "Are you more or less not ok than you were an hour ago?"

"About the same," Ianto croaked finally. His throat was dry and sore, but the pain kept his mind off other, more devastating, thoughts.

"I'm proud of you, you know," Jack continued. "All of you. The way you handled the situation… just shows how much you've learnt since you first came here. When I bought each of you to the Hub for the first time… you spent most of your working days in awe. Especially Gwen. But now… you don't need me anymore-"

"Of course we do!" Ianto interrupted suddenly. "We all need you."

"I don't mean…" Jack paused. "I just mean, I can trust you to save the world without me. It's a good thing."

"Are you leaving again?" Ianto asked watching Jack carefully.

"No," Jack said honestly. "But if I did need to leave again, would you be ok with that?"

"I don't own you," Ianto shrugged. "It's not like I can stop you."

"But if I told you, before I went, would you be alright?" Jack pulled Ianto's hand into his lap. "I need to know."

"Would you come back?" Ianto shifted closer.

"Of course!" Jack smiled weakly. "Don't think I'd leave your gorgeous ass here alone for too long. You might find someone else."

"Not really in the mood for jokes," Ianto sighed.

"Yeah, me neither," Jack agreed, squeezing Ianto's hand in an effort to comfort them both.

"But I'd be ok," Ianto shivered again. "As long as you warned us… even if it's just a note and you always come back."

Jack pulled Ianto closer, wrapping an arm round the other man's waist as they looked out over the water of the bay. They sat in silence again for a long time, watching the sun slowly sink behind the horizon.

"Where's Gwen?" Ianto asked after a while.

"In the Hub helping John with the Rift predictions," Jack replied. "Why?"

"You should go, be with her," Ianto said. "She needs you."

"She needs Rhys," Jack said firmly. "John needs to disappear back to the giant casinos in the Los Angeles nebular, and you need me."

"The world suddenly seems a lot…" Ianto tried to find the right word.

"Darker?" Jack suggested.

"It was always dark," Ianto said sadly. "It just seems a lot bigger. There's only three of us now and the first time we need to hack into a military computer system, or an alien autopsy needs to be done, we're gonna be in trouble."

"I know," Jack nodded. "We'll find someone to…"

"To replace them," Ianto finished bitterly.

"But we all need time to mourn them," Jack said. "We'll just have to cope for a while, the three of us."

"I think we should go home," Ianto glanced at Jack, suddenly realising how cold he was.

"Ok, I'll get rid of Gwen and John," Jack made to stand up, but Ianto stopped him.

"Not the Hub," he said. "Home. I need a shower and a cup of tea and I should probably try and get some sleep but that's not going to happen. But… I want you to come with me."

Jack would've smiled if Ianto had asked him back to his flat at any other time, but right then it was a need for comfort. He stood up and helped Ianto to his feet, taking the Welshman's hand.

Saving the world was one thing, losing a friend was another. Losing two was almost unbearable. But eventually they'd move on. The Tosh and Owen shaped voids would slowly heal over and the pain would dull. They'd never completely forget, but every time they lost someone, whether it was a friend, or someone they were trying to protect, it made them who they are. Made them more determined to get it right next time. It made them Torchwood.

***