Title: Say the Words
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Jack Harkness
Fandom: Doctor Who/Torchwood
Rating: PG
Table: 2
Prompt: 41, Peaceful
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Jack Harkness. Please do not sue.

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Jack peered out of the door of the Tardis, shielding his eyes against the bright glare of the sunlight. They were in a place that looked like a forest glade, the sun shining down through the tree branches, casting sun-dappled pools of light across the ground. He had no idea where the Doctor was; the Time Lord must have wandered off. Jack fervently hoped that he hadn't managed to get himself into trouble -- again.

How was it that trouble seemed to follow the Doctor around? he wondered, shaking his head and exiting the ship to stand in the middle of the clearing they'd materialized in. No matter where they went, he always seemed to be a magnet for it. Maybe it was just some kind of twisted fate that decreed the Doctor would always be in the middle of whatever was happening.

This time, Jack told himself, they weren't going to get into any trouble. They were just going to spend some quiet time here, alone, with nothing but nature for company. It was past time that the two of them had some time away from the rest of the world -- it seemed as though the Doctor spent all of his time helping others, with never a thought for his own needs.

Had being with the Doctor turned him into some kind of hero? Jack had to laugh quietly at the thought, shaking his head. Yes, he believed in justice, and helping people who needed his help. But a hero? Him? No, he was just along for the ride as the Doctor's companion. No, scratch that. Not just as his companion. As his lover.

What had made him think that the Doctor needed -- or even wanted -- what he'd become? Jack leaned against the door of the Tardis, scuffling his foot along the ground. Maybe the Time Lord hadn't wanted a lover; he certainly acted like he hadn't expected to have one. But that was their relationship, nonetheless, and Jack wasn't going to back away from it now. He'd made his choice -- and he was happy with it.

But was the Doctor happy? Was Jack what he wanted? Damn. He shook his head, clenching one fist into a ball and beating it against the other in frustration. He'd never had this kind of self-doubt before, so why was it attacking him now?

Because he'd never felt like this about anyone before, that little voice that spoke up in the back of his head too often for comfort whispered, making him sigh and slump against the Tardis. He might as well admit that he was in love; the bond that kept him with the Doctor was much more than just affection or friendship.

He'd known how he felt for a long time; he'd even said the words to himself more than once. He had even whispered them to the Doctor, when the Time Lord was on the verge of sleep. He'd said them when they'd made love, but he had no idea if the Doctor would remember something that had been uttered in the heat of passion. He might not even care that Jack had said the words aloud.

Why were the words "I love you" so hard for him to say? Easy when he was in bed with the Doctor, easy to let the words come out when he held the other man in his arms, when they were entwined in the most intimate embrace they could possibly be in. Those words came easily to him when they might not be remembered, or when they might be written off as something he'd said to get what he'd wanted at the moment.

That wasn't true, Jack told the insinuating little voice fiercely, wishing that he could push it away and not have to ponder questions like this. Of course he loved the Doctor. And he'd told the Time Lord so enough times for the other man to know he meant those words.

But did he know? Or was he still unsure of Jack's motives, feeling that their budding relationship was too precarious to place his complete trust in? Jack had to know. He had to say those words to the Doctor when they were both calm and rational, had to tell the Doctor how he felt when there was no way that his words could be misinterpreted.

Jack lifted his head, his keen eyes searching the woodland around him for a glimpse of the Time Lord. There -- was that the flash of a white shirt he saw in the sunlight? He lifted a hand to shield his eyes, waiting for his vision to clear and sharpen. Yes, it was indeed the Doctor, sitting with his back propped up against a tree near what looked like the edge of the woods.

Making his way across the clearing, Jack headed towards where the Doctor was sitting, sinking to the ground beside the Time Lord when he reached the tree that the other man's back was propped against. The Doctor turned his head to look over at him, a small smile curving his lips, but not saying a word. Jack reached out to take his hand, twining their fingers together and looking down at them, reflecting on how delicate the Doctor's hand looked clasped in his own.

They sat there for a long time, not speaking, the Doctor closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the tree trunk. Jack observed the Time Lord quietly, aching to reach out a hand and trail his fingers down that silken skin, run them through the softness of the Doctor's hair. But he simply sat there, drinking in the calm, the peace, the quiet -- and the presence of the man he loved beside him.

Finally, the Doctor broke the silence, rolling his head to the side to look over at Jack. "I believe the expression is 'a penny for your thoughts,'" he said softly, his eyes meeting the immortal's startled gaze. "Though they might be worth a great deal more than that. What's on your mind, Jack?"

For a moment, he was tempted to say "nothing," and try to leave it at that. But the Doctor knew him too well; the Time Lord would be able to immediately discern that he didn't want to talk about his thoughts, which would inevitably lead to the Doctor retreating emotionally and feeling hurt. That wasn't the direction he wanted this discussion to go in.

"I've been thinking about .... the fact that I haven't said something as much as I should have," he said softly, moving closer to the Doctor so that their thighs were touching. "I've said it, but I don't think it's been at times when you could really appreciate it."

"Oh?" The Doctor's brows rose; his expression was one of slightly startled surprise, but he didn't look alarmed. "And what are these magic words? I take it they're not something along the lines of 'bibbity bobbity boo,' or some such -- if they were, then you wouldn't look so earnest about whatever it is you're supposed to not have said."

Jack couldn't help laughing at the Doctor's words; trust the Time Lord to try and defuse what could potentially be an emotional situation with humorous words. "No, it's definitely not that. Not even close." He shook his head, a smile still lingering on his lips. "But it is a three-word phrase, so you at least got that part of it right."

The Doctor glanced over at him again, then towards the horizon, out over the crest of the hill that the wooded area sat atop of. "Whatever it is, how can you be so sure that you haven't said it already? Words aren't that important, Jack, you should know that. It's the feelings behind those words that make all the difference -- and that give the words their meaning. What you say isn't always what you feel."

"Sometimes I don't think I say what I feel often enough," Jack murmured, lifting the Doctor's hand and studying the long, tapering fingers. Such capable hands, he thought, yet so delicate and fine-boned. Much like the Doctor himself; strong in a lot of ways, but vulnerable in so many others. More vulnerable than he admitted to being.

"Then say it," the Doctor said softly, looking over at him again, this time fixing his gaze on Jack's face and not looking away. "There's no reason for you not to, Jack. It's obviously something that you want me to hear, so here I am, ready to listen."

Jack shifted his position, kneeling in front of the Doctor and taking both of the Time Lord's hands in his own. The Doctor looked a little startled, as though he wondered just what Jack was doing, but he didn't say anything, merely waiting for Jack to speak. The immortal cleared his throat, wondering just how to say the words.

The direct approach, he told himself. That would be the best way to say it. Just get it out, then wait to see what the Doctor would have to say.

"I love you," he breathed, the words sounding hushed and choked. He cleared his throat again, this time speaking a little louder. "I love you," he said again, the words stronger and more clear in the wooded quiet. "I know that I don't say it often enough -- and it's something I don't think I've ever said when we weren't in bed."

The Doctor shook his head, his small hands trembling slightly in Jack's grasp. "I know you do," he whispered, his gaze still riveted on Jack's. "I love you too, you know. I don't say it often enough, either -- because I'm usually afraid to. I always feel that you'll back away if I let those words go past a certain point."

"You don't ever have to keep those words back," Jack told him, his throat tight. "If you knew how much I've wanted to hear them ...." He broke off, a smile spreading across his face. "All this time, we've both wanted to say the same thing, and we've both been afraid of what the consequences of saying it would be. We're quite a pair, aren't we?"

"Indeed we are," the Doctor murmured, looking down at his hand still clasped in Jack's. "Both of us searching for something that we're not sure we'll ever find -- and when we've found it, still so unsure of ourselves that we almost let it go."

"I'm not going to let you go," Jack said softly, leaning forward and taking the Doctor's face between his hands. "I've spent a lifetime -- a hell of a lot of lifetimes -- searching for you. And now that I have you, I'll be damned if I'm giving you up without a fight."

"You don't have to fight for me, Jack," the Doctor whispered, placing his hands on Jack's but not pulling them away from his face. "I have no intention of going anywhere. I might be a bit scared -- all right, terrified -- of giving you my heart, but .... I wouldn't take it back, even if you gave me the chance."

Jack settled back against the tree, turning the Doctor's slender body easily in his arms so that the Time Lord was leaning back against his chest, one arm around the Doctor's waist, the other stroking through his hair. The Gallifreyan leaned his head back, looking up at him, and Jack couldn't resist letting the opportunity for a kiss go by.

"Let's stay here for a while," the Doctor murmured against his lips, his breath warm against Jack's skin. "It's so peaceful here, Jack. Let's make time stand still for a while. I feel safe here -- more so than I have in a long time."

"So do I," the immortal said softly, tightening his arms around the Doctor's waist, gratified when the other man leaned back against him with a soft sigh. "I wouldn't mind staying here for a few days myself. The rest of the world can get by without us for a while. And if they can't .... well, they don't have a choice."

The Doctor laughed softly, resting his head against Jack's shoulder and closing his eyes. "An attitude I heartily approve of. Let's wait a while before we commit ourselves to anything else, shall we? I think we could do with the rest."

"I couldn't agree more," Jack said, pulling the Doctor more closely against him. Right now, he didn't want to move, didn't want to upset the delicate balance of tranquility that existed here, in this time and place. It wouldn't be forever, he knew that. But he'd make it last as long as he could.

The Doctor turned slightly in his arms, almost snuggling against Jack and closing his eyes. The immortal pressed a kiss against his lover's forehead, feeling the Time Lord relax in his arms. It was beautifully peaceful and quiet here; maybe the Doctor would finally be able to let go of all the tension that usually plagued him. Jack certainly hoped so.

If only they could stay here forever, he thought regretfully -- but that wasn't possible. But at least they'd have this time alone, time for the Doctor to heal, time for them to strengthen the ties between them. Time to say those three words over and over again, as often as they both needed to hear them.

They'd earned this peaceful interlude, this escape from the rest of the world, Jack thought. And he'd be leaving here with a lot more peace of mind than he'd entered this place with. Hopefully, so would the Doctor. And where would they go from here? he asked himself, a small smile flitting across his face. No way to tell. But wherever it was, he'd be going there with the reassurance that he wouldn't be walking into the unknown alone.

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