Title: Think With Your Hearts
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: 1, 50scenes
Prompt: 46, Mistake
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

Ianto and the Doctor made their way down the street that would lead them back to the Tardis; they were each lost in their own thoughts, their steps slow and almost hesitant. Neither of them wanted to break the silence that existed between them.

Finally, the Doctor sighed, turning his head to glance behind them. He couldn't help but wonder if Jack was still watching them from the Hub; he could probably see them, even though he was out of their range of sight until the next time they were there.

Ianto had seemed so at home in the Hub. Everyone had laughed and joked with him; he'd fit right in, as if he'd only been gone on a short vacation rather than having left Torchwood forever. The team had seemed happy to see him again.

On the other hand, the team seemed wary and cautious around him. Maybe it was simply because he was an alien, and they'd had some bad experiences with other alien races. But it was obvious that he didn't fit into the framework of Torchwood at all.

Ianto had always insisted that he never felt quite at home there, that the other acted as though he was nothing more than the teaboy. The Doctor hadn't seen that when they'd been there; he had only seen people who were delighted to be with a friend.

Torchwood accepted Ianto just as he was, whether his young lover thought so or not. And it had been more than obvious to the Doctor that they missed him as more than just the teaboy who made wonderful coffee. He was missed as an integral member of the team.

He'd expected Jack to feel that way, of course. Jack had loved Ianto, and probably still did. He hadn't tried to make the young man feel as though he wasn't a part of the team, as Ianto had thought; he had merely wanted to protect him, keep him safe from any harm.

But the others had all been so warm and welcoming, so friendly. Ianto had made the comment before they'd reached the Hub that everyone would probably expect him to make coffee, since that was all they ever wanted from him -- but that hadn't been the case.

Did that welcome make Ianto feel that he'd been more a part of Torchwood than he'd previously thought? Would it make his lover want to go back -- on a permanent basis? After all, it had been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that they would welcome him back with open arms.

The Doctor couldn't push that thought to the back of his mind and declare it ridiculous, as he usually did. He'd been able to make himself believe that Ianto would never even consider going back to Torchwood, that it wasn't the place for him.

But now, seeing the rest of the team's reaction to having Ianto back, he wasn't so sure. Could Ianto feel that he was more needed with Torchwood than with the Doctor? Could he make the same decision that Jack had and leave for good?

He didn't want to think about that possibility. He wanted to tell himself with every assurance that Ianto was his soul mate, that this young man would stay with him for as long as fate allowed them to be with each other. He wanted to believe that Ianto would always be there.

Of course, he wouldn't. He was human; he would eventually age and die, but that wasn't his fault. That was something that couldn't be denied, couldn't be fought. It wasn't Ianto's choice to leave; time would take that choice away from either of them.

It was the idea that Ianto could choose to walk away from him in the same way that Jack had, after saying that they would be together for all of his life, that hurt the most. That was what he wanted to push away and deny with all his strength.

He looked down at the pavement in front of them, their strides almost evenly matched as they walked along. How long would it be before he was walking back to the Tardis alone? How much longer would Ianto be with him now that he knew he was welcome back at Torchwood?

"Doctor, what's wrong?" Ianto asked, his voice coming at the Doctor out of the blue. The Time Lord held back a gasp as he glanced over at the young man beside him; he had expected Ianto to be just as lost in his own thoughts as he himself was.

"Don't tell me there's nothing wrong," Ianto said, shaking his head as the Doctor opened his mouth to reply with those very words. "I've known you long enough -- and well enough -- to be able to tell when something is bothering you."

The Time Lord nodded, searching for the right words to say. How could he tell Ianto that he was worried about the man he loved going back to his former life? How could he say that he was terrified of seeing Ianto disappear from his life forever?

"Ianto, do you think that us being together is a mistake? Would you be happier if you went back to the team at Torchwood?" he blurted out, wanting to clamp his hand over his mouth as soon as the words were out, feeling like a fool for uttering them.

But the words were out now; he couldn't take them back or wish them unsaid. He could only hope that they wouldn't hurt Ianto, or make him feel that the Doctor didn't want him here, as an integral part of the Time Lord's life.

Ianto had stopped in his tracks; he was staring at the Doctor, his blue-grey eyes wide with shock. "Wh-what do you mean by that?" he asked, his voice sounding forced, as though it had to squeeze past a lump in throat to make itself heard.

"I don't want you to leave!" the Doctor hastened to say, turning to Ianto and taking his lover's hand. "I just .... wondered if the team's reaction to your coming back for a visit might make you feel that you'd made a mistake in being with me. If you felt that you fit in there better than you'd thought."

Ianto shook his head, looking bewildered. "Doctor, how could you ever think that? It was great that the team welcomed me back the way they did -- but you have to know that I could never think my being with you is a mistake. Not in any way."

The Time Lord closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before he opened them and looked into Ianto's eyes. "I should have known that, sweetheart. And I don't mean to doubt you, or what you feel for me. It's just that ...." His voice trailed off, the words refusing to come out.

The young man reached for the Doctor, pulling the slender Time Lord into his embrace. He didn't seem to care that there were other people walking down the street, a few of who muttered some less than complimentary words as they stepped around the two men.

"It's just that everyone you've been with before has ended up leaving you," Ianto finished for him, taking the Doctor's hands and squeezing them gently. "I'm not like that, Doctor. I'm not just a companion. I'm your soul mate, remember? Fate brought us together."

"And fate could just as easily rip us apart again," the Doctor whispered, tears coming to his eyes. He blinked them back, determined not to get emotional. Not here, not now. "From what I saw at the Hub, the team would be more than willing to have you back."

"Think with your hearts, Doctor -- not with your eyes," Ianto told him, his voice breaking. "I'd never think that the two of us are a mistake. And I'd never leave you, not for any reason. That's not an option for me. I'm not like all of the others. I'm here for the long run."

The Doctor felt a flood of relief wash over him, so strong that it almost made his knees buckle. He had to lean against Ianto for a few moments before he felt that he could stand again on his own. Ianto wasn't going to leave. He didn't think that they were a mistake.

"I know you are, love," he managed to say, swallowing back the lump that had formed in his throat. "I've always known that, from the first time we touched. But sometimes my faith might get a little ragged around the edges. Kick me if that happens again, will you?"

"I just might kick you if you dare to say that either of us might think being together is a mistake," Ianto told him, laughing softly and shaking his head. The Doctor stepped back slightly, turning in the direction they'd been heading and taking Ianto's hand again.

No, they weren't a mistake. He should have known better than to imagine that his Ianto would ever think that. He would have to take his lover's advice, and learn to think with his hearts. He could be sure that they would never lead him in the wrong direction.

***