Title: Cool
Author: Dee
Rating: R
Word Count: 9801
Pairings: Gil/Nick
Characters: Gil, Nick and various team members and other characters.
Warnings: Fluff and, I think, v.v.v.AU and OOC.
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: In my dreams they are like, totally mine!
Beta: jayceepat and podga for their invaluable help in the Americanisation of the fic and their insightful comments – which I may well have ignored! I thank high_striker for his wonderful icons. I am indebted to them all. Any errors are mine.
A/N 1: This is Part Seven of Ten (it has increased you’re right!) of an ongoing saga. It follows on from The Insane Kind, Convoluted, Four Times In Twenty Four Hours, Upping the Ante, BFF and Facing Up. It will help to be familiar with these as they form part of the whole!

ALL my legal and medical stuff is either: MADE UP, from House, M.D., Boston Legal or Wikipedia – I am, therefore, (not) an expert!



The ride to the hospital was fast, the siren wailed but was strangely muted within the vehicle itself. Gil sat behind the paramedic administering to Nick. His Nicky. His sweetheart.

In reality the paramedic wasn’t doing much. Nick had a supply of oxygen. He had fluids dripping quickly into him and the wound was now tightly bandaged. Gil could not see blood seeping through this particular dressing, but knew Nick had lost a lot of blood and was probably bleeding internally. He had electrodes attached to his chest to monitor his heart beat. It was fast. But it was steady, it was rhythmic; Gil felt soothed by the sound, despite the speed.

Gil was holding onto Nick’s leg. He couldn’t get near enough to hold his hand or stroke his hair or kiss his lips. He longed to do that, to touch him, soothe him, love him.

“Nicky we’re nearly at the hospital and they’ll have you in the OR within fifteen minutes, I bet. Just hold on and try to keep calm - I’m here with you, my love.”

Gil spoke these words to Nick quietly but purposefully and the paramedic heard him clearly. To his surprise the heart monitor, calculating the beats of Nick’s heart, showed a significant drop. It had been 142 but decreased steadily to 123. Gil noticed immediately and spoke again.

“Good boy, Nicky sweetheart. I’m here and you’re being treated and you’ll soon be up and about. Now keep calm and keep remembering that I love you.”

The monitor showed a further reduction to 114. But then Gil was gripped by a panic so severe that he called out, “Nicky!”

The paramedic looked startled and turned towards Gil with a quizzical expression. “He’s okay – these are good signs. Are you okay?”

“I just had a terrible thought it might be slowing down to stop.” Gil whispered this urgently to the paramedic.

He smiled., “Well, in my experience this shows that he’s stabilising, maybe his bleeding is slowing down, we’ll be at the hospital any moment, it’s good sign, he’s not out of the woods, of course…..” The paramedic thought he’d better cover all bases, “…..but I’ve seen a few of these and this is good sign.”

Gil was listening but watching Nick intently and listening to the beeping of the monitor that seemed steady at 112 now. Gil saw Nick’s eyes flutter and his right arm moved up towards his face.

“Nicky, lie still sweetheart, I’m here with you, I won’t leave you, I promise.”

Nick still moved his hand to his face and the oxygen mask and tried to pull at it. He had no strength to do it. The paramedic leaned forward and said, “It’s an oxygen mask Nick, you need to leave it where it is, it’s good, you’re okay.” He gently tugged Nick’s hand away and held it. The heart rate started to climb again, 115, 121 and 128.

The paramedic looked to Gil and motioned him to take Nick’s hand. Gil did this and moved closer to Nick, squashing the paramedic. “I’m here Nicky, try not to move, you need the oxygen.”

Nick spoke, Gil and the paramedic had heard something but the bleep of the machinery and the faint hiss of the oxygen and the fact that the mask was over Nick’s mouth meant that neither man could decipher the words.

Gil leaned right over Nick, whose heart rate was now 136. “Please, Nicky, be still, just for a few more minutes and you’ll be with the doctors.”

Nick spoke again and the closeness of Gil to him meant that he did hear what Nick said. Gil bit his bottom lip and tears welled up in his eyes and fell onto Nick’s bare chest.

“Oh, my sweet….you have nothing…..nothing to be sorry about ……absolutely nothing…..please Nicky, baby, please don’t be sorry….”

Nick had said very quietly, but quite plainly, ‘Sorry’.

Gil couldn’t continue to speak but he held Nick’s hand and pulled it up to his mouth and kissed the fingers, wetting them with his tears. His silent weeping became sobs as he couldn’t contain himself a moment longer. The paramedic put his hand on Gil’s back and rubbed it soothingly.

Nick’s heart rate began to slow again and that helped Gil pull himself together. That and the kissing of Nick’s fingers and the soothing rub of the hand on his back.

The ambulance slowed and the paramedic said. “We’re here.”

No sooner had he said the words than the back doors swung open and a team was pulling Gil out and moving in to get Nick. Gil noticed that there was a patrol car both in front, and behind, the ambulance. Nick had been escorted all the way in by his colleagues.

All Gil could do now was follow behind as Nick was wheeled into the Emergency Room. He felt redundant and very alone, at least in the ambulance he was in physical contact with Nick. He felt petulant that the very people he knew needed to be with Nick to save his life had excluded him. He knew they were right - but he wasn’t rationalising like he would do normally. This situation was way past his comprehension, his ability to assimilate and compartmentalise the facts and the situation.

This was ‘emotion’ and Gil had only recently become acquainted with ‘emotion’.
It hurt. It physically hurt. His heart hurt, it was being squeezed, his breathing was becoming difficult and he was dizzy. He was still moving forward but it seemed as if he was detached from his body, as if his body was walking on but Gil Grissom was left behind. The last thing he remembered was how odd it seemed to see himself walking away from himself. It didn’t make sense.

The next thing Gil knew he was lying on his back and there was an extremely bright light shining down on him. He could hear the steady, slow beep of a monitor. He brought his hand up to his face to rub at his eyes and also try and shield them from the light above. He heard a woman say, “He’s back with us, doctor.”

“Ah, Dr Grissom, how’re you feeling?”

“Nicky, where’s Nicky, what’s happened?”

“The young man with a gunshot wound to his chest was taken to the OR about ten minutes ago. They’re probably opening him up right now. He was stable.”

“Oh God, I need to get him.” Gil tried to sit up and swing his legs off the examination table where he was lying. The beeps became more rapid exponentially with his movements.

“No, you don’t, lie down.” The doctor was abrupt and authoritative.

“But Nicky needs me.” Gil sounded as if he was whining, even to his own ears.

“I’m sure he does, but unless you’re a cardio-thoracic surgeon, you need to wait until surgery is over and then take care of him. If you are ill you won’t be able to do that will you?”

Gil could react to that reasoning. “No.”

The doctor knew that the gun shot victim was a LVPD man and that he’d had a male partner who’d been able to calm him to such an extent that he’d managed to slow the heart rate down and by doing that had helped slow the bleeding. That was exceptional – not completely unheard of – but very unusual. When he’d heard ‘partner’ he’d assumed work partner, but now he thought it was possible that they were life partners - as in ‘gay’. That would explain it.

“What’s wrong with me?” Gil started to function a little more reasonably.

“Well, we’re going with ‘dead faint’ – or more technically, an episodic syncope. We’ve taken blood tests to check heart function and enzyme levels. You haven’t complained of pain since regaining consciousness, so I’m assuming you have none. So let’s run through what happened. You saw your partner shot?”

“I heard him…shot…and got to him, maybe a minute or two later. I accompanied him in the ambulance and the paramedic seemed fairly pleased with his condition, and when we got here I followed Nicky as he was wheeled along to the ER and then I couldn’t breathe and I had a pain in my heart and I was dizzy…and then I woke up here.”

“That’s fairly comprehensive – so you did have chest pain?”

“No, my heart hurt.”

“Well it is in your chest.”

“The pain…or the feeling of being squeezed was in my heart. It was my heart that was squeezed, it wasn’t my chest.”

“Right.”

“What was that? Was it my heart or a syncope, as you suggested?”

“I’d like to wait for the blood tests. The monitor has shown no sign of any heart beat irregularity and you have no pain now?”

“No, none at all.” Gil wasn’t in pain but he was becoming irritated. He wasn’t ill. It was Nicky who needed a doctor, not him. He didn’t need a doctor, he needed Nicky and then it would all fall back into place.

“The blood test will show if there has been any abnormal occurrence. I’m still inclined to think it was just a reaction to the shock. ‘Nick’, is your partner isn’t he, not at work, in your life?”

Gil nodded and all of sudden felt as if he was going to cry again. He remembered his sobbing in the ambulance. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so upset. Not when his Mom died, nor his Dad. Maybe never before.

The nurse, who’d been quietly standing beside the table, put her arm around Gil’s shoulders; he turned towards her and leaned his head on her shoulder as the floodgates opened.

The doctor didn’t want to be part of this, so rolled his eyes at the nurse and left the room.

The nurse held Gil and just soothed him. As Gil sobbed he remembered holding Nicky in almost the same way….a year ago…no, much longer. He started to regain control of himself. The nurse handed him a wad of tissues and he dried his eyes and blew his nose.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Please don’t be, I subscribe to the theory ‘better out than in’. I bet you feel a bit better now don’t you?”

“I do, thank you……I’d be better still if you could find out how Nicky’s doing in the OR?” He smiled what he hoped was a begging and charming smile, but he knew he had to go some to emulate Nick’s charismatic smile. It worked though.

“I’ll see what I can do, but it’s too soon yet.”

Just then another nurse popped her head around the door. “There’s a Catherine Willows and a Warrick Brown out here, throwing their weight around demanding to see your patient.”

“Do you want to see them?” His nurse asked him.

“No, not really, but I’d better - otherwise they’ll just become a nuisance to you.” Gil was resigned to seeing them, so the quicker he got it out of the way the better.

Catherine and Warrick came in a few minutes later – Gil had been able to wipe his face with a cloth soaked with cold water and felt a little better. The nurse had also promised to get an update on Nick’s surgery.

“Geez Gil what on earth has happened? How are you? How’s Nick? What caused Sara to do this? What on earth….”

Gil stopped her by putting his hand up and saying, “Catherine. Catherine slow down. I probably don’t know much more than you do. Sara went to Nick’s condo and on the balcony outside his place…..she pulled a gun on him. He kept her talking for nearly half and hour and they got people there….I nearly lost……” Gil couldn’t continue.

Warrick was plainly embarrassed but Catherine just went to Gil and enveloped him with her small arms and held him tightly. She whispered to him and shushed him, she nodded to Warrick to leave and he was happy to do so - immediately.

“Catherine what’s happening to me…why am I like this, I’m no use to Nicky like this…I’m no use to anyone in this state. I need to be strong for Nicky and I’m a like a dish rag…why am I like this?” Gil had stopped weeping again and was looking with sad and uncomprehending eyes at Catherine.

“Well…..my guess, for what it’s worth, is that this is the first time in your life that you’ve been in love, really in love, and you’ve just had a most god awful shock, you were there weren’t you, heard the shots, came here with Nicky and then blacked out. Even the great ‘Gil Grissom’ can be susceptible to emotions Gil, and if this didn’t take the cake, I don’t know what would.”

Gil nodded; he recognised the truth and wisdom of Catherine’s words. When he ran to the balcony where Nick lay he had expected to find him dead or dying and then in the ambulance Nick had been ‘sorry’. Sorry for what had happened as if any of it was his fault. Gil knew who’s fault it was.

It was his fault.

Gil had given Sara chance after chance; he’d tried to help her in his inept manner. He knew she ‘liked’ him. Nick had told him, Jim had told him….the entire lab knew….but he had still tried to guide her along the right path…to help her when he must have known she was beyond help and yes, he did know she was psychotic. He had never believed she was dangerous though…never…even suspected. And now, Nick lay hovering between life and death and it was HIS fault. Nick wouldn’t want him now that was certain.

“Oh God, Catherine, I’ve made a fucking mess of it all haven’t I?”

Catherine was shocked at Gil using ‘fuck’; she’d never heard him use it before in more than ten years….and she had to reassure him.

“Gil, you haven’t…I worked alongside her - we all did – and I bet not one of us thought for even a second that she was capable of this. Nick will not blame you, you know, he’ll blame himself first….”

“Oh Catherine…. he already has.” Gil wailed his response and to Catherine’s raised eyebrows he continued, “In the ambulance on the way here, he regained consciousness just long enough to say ‘sorry’ to me. TO ME Catherine, when it was MY fault.”

Gil’s tears had dried up now but they were replaced with something worse, a cold vice gripping his heart…the feeling that it was his fault, his responsibility and certainly his duty to protect his staff. He’d failed Sara as much as he’d failed Nick.

The nurse chose that moment to pop her head around the door. “Surgery is going well, they’ve removed the bullet and now they’re cleaning the area and removing the affected tissue. They reckon another couple hours should do it – give or take. He’s bearing up well, in the circumstances, but he was in good physical shape and that always helps. You okay?

“Much relieved at hearing your news, thank you.”

“You’re welcome, now rest up yourself, he’ll need you when he comes ‘round.”

Catherine added her views, “He will Gil, more than anyone or anything he’ll need you and frankly Gil, I think you’ll need him. So go with the flow….hey, get yourself a therapist or a couple’s counsellor, they’ll be able to straighten you both out!” She ran her hand through his dishevelled hair, calming his curls. Actually, she’d wanted to do that for years.

Gil looked at Catherine and a glimmer of humour flickered in him. If only she knew the times Nicky and him had talked, and laughed, about Catherine acting as their ‘therapist’. “Good thing I kept that pod in the spare bedroom…it’ll come in handy when I start changing people…you can be first.”

“Good for you Gil…..I can hardly believe you may be even considering what I said…but it could help you both you know.”

Gil had really rescued his sense of humour now and knew that he would relate this little tale to Nicky as soon as he could. God, he had been wallowing in self pity. He would be focussed and strong and his Nick would become equally strong. They would prevail, he knew that, absolutely.

“I’m okay now Catherine, wallow over, I’m back on track, and you’ve pulled me up by the scruff of my neck – thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” She hugged him again. “Now you rest up, I’ll rally the troops and we’ll get our show on the road again, no sweat.”

“Thank you…I can rely on you can’t I…you take care of Warrick, don’t you go walking all over him.”

“How….excuse me Gil Grissom…you, YOU, giving ME relationship advice? Do you value your skin? Oh my God, you are a pod person aren’t you?”

They both laughed and Warrick took the opportunity to poke his head in the room. They both laughed harder and Warrick knew he was the butt of whatever joke this was.

Catherine and Warrick left him a few minutes later and Gil thought he should try and sleep, if he could, while he had the opportunity. He’d have some very busy times ahead looking after a recuperating Nick. He lay back on the bed and made mental lists of what he’d need to do.

Gil’s mental list was getting longer and longer.

He needed to get the stuff from Nick’s condo over to his place. He’d ask Warrick and Greg if they’d help him…it’d get done quicker. Then the rental could go ahead and Nick would have money for his mortgage.

Stock up on food and basic necessities at his townhouse before Nick got home, so he could spend more time with Nick when he did get home. Perhaps buy that new bed Nick said he wanted…but Nick would have to help with that…he wouldn’t want to get the wrong bed.

He must go and thank Eileen Morris….she had undoubtedly saved Nick’s life.

Work…what was he going to do about work while he was looking after Nick?

Gil didn’t realise he’d fallen asleep until the doctor was waking him up. “I have your results Mr Grissom. They’re all normal, every single test….no sign at all of any abnormal heart activity. Bloods look good - I think I’m going to go with my first diagnosis – a dead faint - probably bought on by the shock of what had happened. However, I think I’ll have you back in….say, four weeks, and do a rerun of the tests just for your, and my, peace of mind. Okay?”

“Yes, thank you doctor. I appreciate your time and I’m sorry that my trivial ‘episode’ has kept you from more urgent work.”

“You are my work…you were an emergency and we dealt with you as we should do…you might not believe it but it makes us feel good to deal with a bit of ‘trivia’…makes a change from the tragedies that normally unfold in here.”

“Like Nick?”

“He’s not going to be a tragedy is he…he’s going to be one of the lucky ones. I believe he’s out of surgery and in recovery now. Everything went well from what I hear, the thoracic guy’ll speak to Nick, and you, I would think, about what happens next…rehabilitation and such like…..are you okay?”

As the doctor had recounted Nick’s recovery tears had welled up again in Gil’s eyes.

“Relieved.” He managed to get out and tried some deep breaths to re-establish control of his pesky emotions.

“Yeah….I know….he’s been very lucky…and you know you’re already a bit of a legend around here…slowing his heart rate down really helped him; I didn’t see it happen of course but the paramedic said it was pretty impressive.”

“I only spoke to Nicky, he responded to my voice.”

“Well all I can say is that I hope my wife loves me enough to do that…how long have you been together?”

“As close friends for a couple of years…as a couple…only a matter of months.”

“Really? Well, look after yourself….I don’t think I have to say ‘look after Mr Stokes’ do I?”

“No. Thanks again Doctor.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll send the nurse in with your discharge papers.” With that, he was gone.

Gil lay back thinking about Nick and his heat beat slowing down….Nick would have a word for that. ‘Cool’. As his tears dried up once more, Gil smiled to himself…it was… ‘cool’.

It was another hour and another nap before Gil was actually discharged. He made his way to the room they’d told him was Nick’s allocated room; he was still in ‘recovery’ and not allowed any visitors.

Two hours later, Gil was awakened from his third nap in the chair in Nick’s room to the sound of a bed being rolled into the room. Nick was unconscious and had an oxygen mask over his mouth and two IV’s attached to his left arm. He had a urine collection bag hanging on one side of the bed and a drain on the other – Gil guessed from the chest wound. There was a steady bleep from a portable heart monitor. He was as white as the pillow on which his head lay.

Gil was stuck to the spot, he couldn’t move after jumping up from his chair; he just stared at Nick’s prone body. His heart beating wildly in his chest…he loved this man so much…how come he’d only just become gay…was he gay because of Nick? Was he waiting for some man to grab him by the balls…. for Nicky to grab him? Was this why he’d never been particularly interested in marrying, having children, interested in women?

He laughed to himself and a nurse turned towards him and smiled. “He’s come through the surgery very well, the doctor is very pleased…..I’m not sure whether the doctor is pleased with the patient for pulling through or himself for performing a minor surgical miracle…you know what doctors…particularly surgeons, are like.”

“The surgeon can be as pleased as he wants; he’s delivered Nicky back to me.”

“He has that…are you the guy that performed the ‘slowing of the heart’ procedure in the ambulance?”

“Well….Nicky responded to my voice….”

“It’s the talk of the OR….they’re betting on who’s wife or husband or partner could do that….you’ve created a betting frenzy down there!” She laughed. “Come on, pull the chair up and hold his hand and speak to him…you’ve done it once lets see if works again.”

Gil pulled up the chair and sat down. He picked up Nick’s right hand, lifted the hand to his lips and kissed the back of the hand and then each finger.

“Welcome back my love…..’babe’ is here to take care of you…you’re going to be fine…I love you….”

The nurse could not believe it and Gil chuckled. The heart monitor had been showing a steady beat at 81....a good figure for a post operative trauma patient but as Gil had taken Nick’s hand and kissed it and said the words to him, Nick’s heat rate had immediately and steadily decreased and levelled to 73…an excellent reading.

“Well if I hadn’t witnessed that for myself…I wouldn’t have believed it…..are you some sort of witch doctor?”

“It’s not me is it…it’s Nick, he’s responding to my voice, I’m not doing anything.”

“I beg to differ; I think it’s both of you actually…you must have a really close bond. I’ve never seen it before and I’ve been a nurse for fifteen years.”

Before either could speak again a doctor swept into the room and Gil immediately knew what the nurse had meant about the doctor pleased with his own skill and not the patient’s own recovery. This doctor was authoritative; you would not question or challenge him unless you were on firm ground.

“Dr Hollis.” The nurse addressed the doctor. “Vitals are stable; his heart rate has actually significantly reduced with his….partner holding his hand and speaking to him.”

“Is that so? I’m supposed to be the miracle worker around here and I don’t like my work being upstaged.”

Gil took an instant liking to this man. “If you could give me a crash course in thoracic surgery I could help you out…tomorrow?”

“Smart ass! He’s doing remarkably well; luckily a very fit young man. I've had to remove a lobe of his left lung and patch up two ribs. He should make a full recovery…especially with you whispering sweet nothings into his ear!”

“The loss of a lobe of his lung, how significant is that?” Gil had spoken quite sharply and all three of them looked at the monitor as Nick’s heart rate increased to 74…75…76. “Hey Nicky, it’s okay I’m still here it’s going to be good, calm down, it’s okay, my love.”

All three watched as the rate went down again to 73.

“Well, I’ve seen everything now. It does mean slightly reduced lung capacity of course, but with a fit and otherwise healthy young man after physical therapy the overall loss could be as little as five percent and he does appear to have his own miracle worker…who knows.”

Gil laughed a little. “Thank you for what you’ve done, I’m fully aware of who the ‘miracle worker’ is around here.”

“Don’t underestimate the power of your persuasion, he’s going to be in pain and discomfort for a couple of months while his body adjusts…you can start now by telling him he’ll get better. I’ll be in tomorrow to see how he is.” And with that, Dr Hollis exited the room.

“You made a good impression; he’s not normally that pleasant with patients and especially not with relatives.” The nurse sounded impressed.

“When will Nick wake up?”

“When he’s read, really…he was roused, briefly in recovery…are you Gil?”

“Yes, Gil Grissom. Was he okay, did he manage to speak?”

“He mumbled ‘tell Gil I’m sorry,’ and then lapsed back into unconsciousness. He is heavily medicated. Morphine for the pain and antibiotics to prevent infection. No sedatives though because that could suppress his breathing, even more than the morphine, and we don’t want that. We’re giving him fluids, combining the meds at the moment but we’ll start him on a banana bag tomorrow or the next day; that’s a….”

“Intravenous feed. I know.”

“Right, look a nurse has to stay with him at this stage, so if you want to go home and get some rest you go ahead.”

“Thank you, but I think I’ll stay here until he regains consciousness. I have things to tell him.”

“Tell him now - he’s obviously susceptible to subliminal messaging.”

“Good idea.”

Gil had not let go of Nick’s right hand since he’d first picked it up. He lifted the hand up to his lips again and repeated the same procedure as before, kissing the hand and fingers.

“Hey Nicky, the doctor said you’re going to make a full recovery and I want you to know that I will be with you every step of the way. I love you very much. I’m going to get your things moved to my place like we planned and get ready for when you’re discharged. Did you hear that? I love you. I love you and I’m going to take care of you until you’re better.”

There was no change in the heart rate, but Gil assumed that was because 73 was probably his normal resting rate.

“I love you and I don’t want you be sorry for anything, you did great out there. Great Nicky, just great!”

Nick moved just slightly and a frown appeared across his forehead…but was gone almost as soon as it had appeared.

“Hey, can I call you ‘babe’ sweetheart? A temporary thing while you’re in here? You know we can revert back to normal when you come ‘round.”

Gil spent three hours and a shift change of nurse, talking off and on to Nick. There was no change in his condition but his vital signs remained stable and as ‘near normal as dammit’ as the second nurse had said for someone in Nick’s condition.

Gil had been provided with drinks and a sandwich and he suddenly felt tired. His eyes started to droop and the nurse said to sleep, she’d wake him if there was any change.

So he whispered to Nick that he was going to try and get some sleep but that he would be right beside him, after a visit to the bathroom. He would have sworn in court he’d seen Nick smirk a little at that.

When he left the room, the ward receptionist caught his eye, “Mr Grissom?”

“Yes.”

“I have several messages that have been left for you and Mr Stokes but all the callers told me not to disturb you. Miss Willows and a Mr Brown send their love. Mr Brass said to tell you he was thinking about you both. Sheriff Mobley’s secretary said to contact him when you have time but tomorrow would do. Mr Sanders wanted to know if you needed any coffee, but he said that was rhetorical and last but not least a Mr Ecklie said not to worry he was covering for you. I must also tell you that there has been a great deal of interest from the media but that is being dealt with by our publicity department and they do not comment on cases unless given permission to do so; I can assure you that this is a press free area.”

“Thank you. You seem to have everything covered.”

“One more thing, Nurse March, the nurse who went off duty, has arranged for a comfortable chair to be delivered to Mr Stokes’s room for your use. Maintenance should have it here within an hour. We don’t normally have comfortable chairs…we don’t encourage visitors to stay that long.”

Gil laughed. “I appreciate that, I really do.”

Gil dealt with all the calls he could, early next morning. He’d slept on and off reasonably well. Nick was moving a little every now and then but it was fairly obvious that it caused him pain to do so even with the morphine, but everyone seemed pleased with his condition.

He ‘phoned Catherine and asked her to tell everyone about Nick’s condition. He ‘phoned the Sheriff and discussed the case. That’s what it was, ‘a case’, which the swing shift was dealing with. He’d have to make a statement and so would Nick when he was able; but thanks to that elderly neighbour of Nick’s they had a virtual blow by blow account of what had happened. The press were all over it because of ‘Sidle’s death’ as he called it, but they’d managed, so far, to keep Nick’s name out of it – it was a ‘temporary fix’ to say the least and the Sheriff expected Nick’s name to be in the public domain sooner rather than later.

This brought the next problem to the fore. Should they tell the Stokes’s family back in Texas? It hadn’t been picked up by the national media yet but it would be when they realise that a female CSI tried to murder a male CSI over the love of a man. And, that the female CSI had been brought down by SWAT of the same PD that had just fired her. The sheriff made no bones about the potential shit that could be flying around because of this ‘case’. Gil could only agree. They would all have to practice damage control.

But Gil agreed to ‘phone the Stokes’s family and tell them. ‘Not much’ he thought, maliciously, but he’d better warn them. Gil ‘phoned Ecklie and for all their personal animosity he was supportive and had arranged to cover his shift by raiding all the other shifts, and he was doing some field work too….which at least caused Gil to chuckle.

He also told Gil about the journal they’d found in Sidle’s car. Detailing the ‘stalking’ she’d been doing on Nick and to some extent Gil, since the day she’d been fired. There was no question that she intended to kill Nick. There was no doubt at all. There was also no doubt that she was very seriously disturbed given the nature of the contents of the journal. Her physical condition had also considerably deteriorated. The coroner reckoned she was about thirty pounds underweight. She was hardly recognisable, even given the head trauma, from the woman they’d known.

Gil went back into Nick and stroked his hair and gently rubbed his fingers along Nick’s forehead; Nick moved his head into the touch, causing the new nurse to remark that he was going to wake up in the next few hours. Gil leaned over and kissed Nick on the forehead where his fingers had just been. Murmuring, once more, of his love.

Gil then returned to the ward office where they’d let him use the phone for official business. He had to contact Nick’s parents. Ecklie had given him the ‘phone numbers from Nick’s personnel file.

Gil dialled the first number and discovered it was the Dallas County DA’s office. Nick’s mother. He asked to speak with her.

“I’m sorry Ms Stokes is busy right now and cannot take calls. I can take a message.”

“I’m sorry but I must speak with her. I am her youngest son’s supervisor, Dr Gil Grissom, with the Las Vegas PD’s Criminalistics lab and it is imperative I speak with her about a personal matter regarding Nick. This is not negotiable.”

“Oh I see…well…err… hold on a minute, please.”

It was clear to Gil that this was not in her remit, a personal call about family. He was on hold listening to some muzak. Several minutes passed and he was getting irritated. This was her son.

“Dr Gleeson…this is Jillian Stokes.”

“Grissom, Gil Grissom, Mrs Stokes.”

“Dr Grissom, well, what is this urgent matter?”

Gil could hardly believe the tone of the woman; shouldn’t she be concerned that she was having an urgent call, out of the blue, about her son?

“I’m sorry to have to tell you that Nick has been involved in an incident here in Las Vegas.”

“What sort of incident? Please get to the point, Dr Grissom.”

Gil was very nearly at a loss for words. “Nick has been shot. He sustained a serious gunshot wound to the left side of his body and he’s had a lobe of his left lung removed. Surgery was successful, but he hasn’t regained consciousness yet.”

“He’s a CSI, not a police officer, how’d he get involved in a potential gunfire situation?”

‘Fuck this woman to hell and back.’ Gil thought this as he took a deep breath and continued.

“Nick was not on duty when it happened; he was taken hostage near his home and shot. The….shooter was then shot and….killed by the LVPD SWAT.”

“Why did he do it?”

“Nick didn’t do anything.” Isn’t the bitch concerned about Nicky?

“No, the shooter.”

“She. It was a woman….”

“Jesus, has Nick got himself involved in some love tangle, is that it?”

Well, here goes, let the fucking woman have it.

“As a matter of fact that is exactly what happened….”

“I knew it - he was always in trouble of one sort or another.”

“No, Mrs Stokes this was not Nick’s fault at all. The details are still sketchy but apparently he’s been stalked by an ex-colleague who thought, quite wrongly, that Nick had stolen her lover away from her…..”

“Are you saying Nick has been stalked by a crazed lesbian?”

“No, I’m saying that your son, Nicky, has been involved with a man, in a stable and loving relationship, and that this woman believed……” That was a far as he got as he assumed the implication of what he’d said sank into Mrs Stokes’s brain.

“That’s impossible. My son…” So he was her son then? “…is not a homosexual…this is a seriously flawed investigation.”

“No Mrs Stokes, it’s not. Nicky is involved with…..with me. We’ve been together…for some time.”

“WHAT? How dare you, you said you were his supervisor, you’ve corrupted him. I’ll have you fired so fast your feet won’t touch the ground….”

“Mrs Stokes I’m almost sorry you’ve had to find out like this - it is certainly not what Nick wanted, but on the other hand rather than getting me fired aren’t you in the least bit concerned about your son’s health?” Gil was so angry his words were coming out clipped and precisely, matching the previous approach of the esteemed DA, Mrs Fucking Stokes.

“How dare you speak to me like that. You’ve already told me, he’s survived surgery. I’m going to speak with the Sheriff. I’m not going to stand for this.”

“Please yourself Mrs Stokes, shall I give Nicky your love when he wakes up?”

“How dare you!” Gil hardly heard her as he put the ‘phone down and put his hands in his face.

Well, he’d fucked that up. He had ‘outed’ Nick to his mother and been rude to her. He just hoped against hope Nick would forgive him. Before returning to Nick’s room he thought he’d better contact the Sheriff and warn him about Mrs Stokes

The Sheriff did appreciate the heads up but did seem very impressed that Nick’s mother was a DA. Gil thought to tell him that his father was a judge….a Texas State Supreme Court judge, no less. That rendered the Sheriff speechless and Gil took the opportunity to end the call.

Gil sat for a few minutes thinking about how his life had been turned upside down in the last weeks, months….was it worth it? It was; every moment with Nick had been worth it…and when he’d seen Nick’s heart rate monitor, move down and then up at the sound of his voice, he’d been filled with so much love and awe at the man who’d given him his love in return.

He sat there for a few more moments and then became aware of a flurry of movement outside Nick’s room. The nurse was at the door of Nick’s room and was calling him.

He shot out of the room and was mollified to see her smiling.

“Hurry, he’s coming around.”

Gil almost pushed passed her and into Nick’s room. Nick was moving his head from side to side slowly, the frown was there and he was moaning. Gil went to his side and grasped his familiar right hand.

“Nick, oh Nicky, my love, I’m here with you, oh babe. Are you okay, does it hurt too bad?”

“Mmmm…Gil….babe?” He moved the hand Gil was holding to the oxygen mask covering his mouth and nose. The nurse removed it altogether and fixed an air canula into his nose.

“That’s me Nicky.”

“You….said…..me…babe….your…babe.”

“I did, yes I did, just ‘til you were back with me. Nicky, I love you, I've missed you so much. Are you in pain - do you need anything?”

“Calm down Gil…let him take his time to come ‘round.”

“Oh, God yes, I’m sorry Nicky….I love you.” He’d calmed down a little after the nurse’s mild admonishment to him.

“Love you…Sara…what…happened?” Nick was whispering and appeared to be gasping for breath. The nurse had told Gil that he would miss the lung capacity until he got use to its absence.

“Nicky, she shot you. In the left side….you’ve had some of your lung removed…” Nick’s eyes opened wider when Gil said that. “….but the doctor’s said you’ll make a full recovery; I’ll look after you, I don’t want you worrying.”

“Will…. I…be…work…will I work?”

“Yes, of course you will; just got to recuperate first. I’ll help you Nicky, if you’ll let me, that is?”

“Okay.”

The nurse laughed. “He knows when he’s onto a good thing.”

“Do….” Nick smiled, but then the frown flitted across his face.

“Honey, how’s the pain? Do you need more pain medication?” The nurse asked.

“Not pain……uncomf….uncomfort…”

“’Uncomfortable’ sweetheart?”

“Mmmm” Nick’s eyes hadn’t been open much but it was fairly obvious that he was falling asleep again. But he opened them again and spoke again.

“Sara…..what…happened to ….Sara?”

“Nicky, she died, at the scene.”

“Figures. Tired now. Love you.” He’d strung those words together well but he looked exhausted and this time he did fall asleep.

“He was good, wasn’t he?” Gil asked the nurse.

“He certainly was, I’ll put that in his chart notes.”

Gil had been standing over Nick but now sank back in the chair, ‘his chair’.

“Why don’t you try to get some rest?”

“Yeah….I’ll try.”

At that moment the ward receptionist came to the door.

“Dr Grissom?”

“Yes”

“I have a very irate man on the ‘phone insisting I ‘tell’ you that he wants to speak to you. I can get rid of him if you want?”

“No…I’d rather face the music now than later.” He stretched as he got out of his chair and then made his way to the ‘phone on the young woman’s desk.

“Grissom.”

“Can you tell me what in the Lord’s name is going on over there? My wife says you‘re sleeping with our boy and he’s in a ‘love triangle’ with you and a woman; I don’t mind telling you, Jillian’s very upset.”

“Your son is making very good progress and has briefly regained consciousness, thank you for asking.”

“Well…yes…my wife did say he was fine.”

“Fine? Fine?” Gil had lost it now, there was no turning back. “He was shot. Your son very nearly died…..he lost a great deal of blood and he’s lost part of his lung and will have a long and painful rehabilitation ahead of him and you’re concerned about a fucking ‘love triangle’?

“I’d be grateful if you would moderate your language, there’s no need to use profanities…..”

“Love triangles and profanities…well it’s plain to see just exactly where your priorities lie. I had suspected that there were some major ‘issues’ with Nick and you and his mother…I never in my wildest dreams thought you were this bad. Never.”

“How dare you speak….”

This was familiar to Gil, so he put the ‘phone down on a second Stokes within the space of an hour. Nick would forgive him…if this was the sort of set up Nick had lived in, it was no fucking wonder he’d ended up in therapy. What was truly wondrous though, was that he’d turned into such a good hearted and kind man when he’d been subjected to the upbringing of such cold hearted and mean spirited people…the exact opposite of Nick….the exact opposite. He wondered then if they’d actually mixed up the babies in the hospital when he’d been born…..

He rose, wearily, to his feet and smiled at the clerk. She spoke, in a sad tone of voice.

“Families huh? We get a lot of that in here I can tell you…some of the things you hear are beyond belief.” She sighed.

“Yeah…families.”

He made his way back to the room to be with his lover. H felt a sudden chill down his spine. This wasn’t over. The Stokes’ were powerful people…they wouldn’t take this lying down. Fuck their son’s health; they were only concerned that a Stokes was going to be labelled gay…a queer boy.

Over the next few hours Nick had a few visitors….Catherine, Warrick, Greg and then Jim and Sofia. Presents arrived for him, flowers and fruit. He hadn’t been aware of anything…still slumbering from the after effects of the anaesthesia and the pain medication.

Catherine and Greg had stayed with Nick while he’d gone home and showered and changed clothes and packed some more stuff for himself…he’d shower and sleep at the hospital until Nick was out of danger.

Greg took Nick’s and Gil’s keys after Gil had returned to the hospital and would deal with moving the stuff out of Nick’s condo and into Gil’s house. Gil had said to hire a mover as Warrick was at court…but Greg said to leave it with him …he’d deal. So Gil did.

It was past three in the afternoon when the Sheriff arrived. He opened the door to Nick’s room and glancing at the sleeping Nick he indicated for Gil to join him outside. Gil’s recently acquired sense of foreboding shot off the scale. This was going to be about Judge and Mrs Stokes.

“First of all Gil, how’s the boy really doing….not hospital speak?”

“The doctor is very pleased, despite the trauma the surgery went well and his recovery is going just as well….so far, of course. He’s asleep most of the time but he’s been awake and we’ve spoken. He’ll have to undertake physical therapy…they call it rehabilitation because Nick’s got to learn to live with reduced lung capacity…but again the doctor thinks that the overall loss could be as little as five percent.. So all in all it’s going good. The Stokes?”

“Yeah. That’s good to hear about Nick though…he’s a good….young man.” The Sheriff couldn’t think how to describe Nick.

“Yeah, he is…makes you wonder how those parents managed to create such a ‘good young man’.”

“Now, I believe that is the truth having spent over an hour with the Judge and his wife. I think the lab will contain it as far as the shooting goes….we have the evidence and we couldn’t have handled it any other way….like I said to them, hindsight would have helped. But Gil, it’s your guts they want…not only did you seduce and steal and corrupt…you want me to go on?”

“Nothing I didn’t expect.”

“No, well thanks for warning me. They didn’t speak once about Nick and his injury, but YOU and Nick are now the focus of their considerable clout. I can and will support you in the work place but I can’t do anything about your private life. You know that. But I have told them that you and Nick had both been candid about your relationship and that a thorough examination had taken place and nothing had been found implicating you or Nick in any duplicity. I can’t do much Gil, except warn you to watch your back…..you got a lawyer?”

“Do I need one?”

“I don’t know, but if it was me I’d feel better.”

“I can reach one if I need one but until I know what they’ve got planned it may be a waste of time.”

“Is Nick up to being told….I take it you haven’t said anything to him yet?”

“No I haven’t, in truth Robert? I don’t know how he’ll take it…..they are still his parents after all, and blood is thicker…..”

“Tell him as soon as possible. No one needs to be surprised by what’s going to happen…even if we don’t know what it is…especially Nick.”

“Yes. Yes. I will. Thank you Robert.”

“You’re welcome…first time in my career I haven’t kissed ass with a Judge in the Supreme Court….good thing he doesn’t live in Nevada.”

“I appreciate it.”

“Be careful.” With that the Sheriff left.

Gil went back into Nick’s room; he felt sick. He sat in the chair and thought about Nick’s parents. He’d been close friends with Nick for, what, over two years now and in all of that time neither parent had contacted Nick, as far as he was aware. The therapy Nick had been having with Ed was mostly centred on the rejection issues Nick felt because of his parents. And now….they were not concerned that their son had been shot, but that he was gay. Gil wished his own mom was still alive; she’d’ve looked after him and Nicky like a real mom should.

“Hey.”

“Hey yourself, how’re you feeling?”

“Like I need a cold….shower to wake me up.” Nick was still gasping for breath but was speaking almost normally for the first time since yesterday morning. A million years ago.

“You’ll be up soon, you know what these nurses are like, not happy unless they’re inflicting some sort of pain and humiliation.”

“Hey, you guys, I have the power. Look I’m leaving you for few minutes; if there’s ANY change you get me back, you hear?” This was primarily directed at Gil, who nodded.

As soon as she left the room, Nick spoke again. “What’s wrong? Your face. Sad. Tell me? We okay? Love you.” All spoken with puffs of breath but Nick was awake and functioning now and he hadn’t missed a trick.

Gil spent a few moments pondering what to do…tell or not tell…he was interrupted.

“You gonna have to….tell me sooner…or later….might as…well make it now, babe.”

“Yeah…you are supposed to be sick you know. But there is something, and you must promise me to keep calm.” The heart monitor responded by increasing. “Nick, hey come on, don’t give me the heebie-jeebies.” He held Nick’s hand.

“Then tell me.”

Gil took a deep breath and spoke to Nick. “I ‘phoned your mother and then your father ‘phoned me.” Gil was flabbergasted at Nick’s response. He started laughing…well….chuckling.

“That must ha…have been…the high….highlight of…your day.”

“Nick, I’ve done something unforgivable…I told your mom that you…we…were in a relationship.”

“Aw…man….that’s not fair….I wanted to do it….face to….face…to see her face….you ruined the fun.”

“Nick this is serious, your father is furious and has been in touch with the Sheriff…”

“Did they ask….how…I was?”

“Nick.”

“I’ll take that….as a ‘no’ then. Don’t worry Gil…I’m all grown up now…. they can’t scare me…..like they used to.”

Gil noticed that Nick’s heart rate was steady at 71 and that his speaking and breathing had become easier even as they’d had this conversation.

“You’re not mad at me?”

“I love you.”

“Nick, I’ve never met anyone like you in my life…and I love you…when I was sad a few minutes ago it was because of my own mom, I just wished she was still….she would have looked after both of us.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“The Sheriff seems to think your parents are going to try some legal stuff…..I don’t know what….you’re hardly non compos mentis; we have the hospital staff here as witness to your recovery and Ed knows about the…issues…with your parents. We’ve got work covered…what could they do?”

“No idea man…but they’ll try something…you can depend…..on that. Are you…are we…okay?”

“Never better. I loved you before all this I swear I did…but this has made me realise how much….how deep my love is for you…I might never let you go…”

“Suits me….just fine, babe. Tired again now.”

“Not surprised; but you’re talking better already…you get some more sl….”

Before he’d finished the word Nick’s eyes reopened – wide - and his heart rate went up…

“Power….Power of Attorney….you need it….now today….for me. Daddy’ll try….to wrest control of me while…I’m in the hospital…sick…vulnerable. Please babe….do it now.”

Nick had really exhausted himself now and leaned back gasping for breath.

“Okay…I will…you sleep and I’ll find out what we can do….I love you.”

“Mmmmm.” He was asleep.

Suddenly energised with something to do Gil stood, leaned over and kissed Nick’s lips. Nick stirred underneath him but still slept. He waited for the nurse to return and then went to find the ward receptionist.

She was still at her desk; she would certainly know what to do…he hoped.

“Excuse me…Marianne…” He’d looked at her name tag for the first time. “Do you, by any chance, know what procedure is involved in obtaining a ‘Power of Attorney’…for hospital patients?”

“Families. Of course I do and if you don’t mind me saying it’s a wise move. Hold on, we have a lawyer on the payroll…it’s her job to deal with exactly these situations.” As she spoke she dialled a number and then spoke into the ‘phone. “Phil, Marianne, hi…yeah fine…look I have a really urgent need of Ms Holding’s services to deal with a POA. Is she in? Great can you start the ball rolling? Room 417, Nicholas Stokes and the POA is here with me. No, he’s fine and responsive and all that, but it’s a family situation and we need to cover all bases and fast. Owe you…..yeah.

“Phil’s her secretary and she says Ms Holding can be down here in about fifteen minutes. Have you got identification on you for you and Mr Stokes, by any chance? You’ll need it. Will Mr Stokes be able to wake up ‘cause he’ll have to sign…it can be done in an hour, Phil says.”

“Thank you, Marianne; I think we’ll both owe you.”

“You’re welcome…you know you’re the talk of the hospital?”

“The heart thing?”

“Yeah…I think most of us just wish we had someone who loved us as much.”

“Marianne, thank you…but you know I didn’t go looking for it - it just snuck right up and bit me on the ass. And if it can happen to me it can happen to anyone.”

“I’ll keep a look out….I don’t suppose you’ve got a brother?”

“Sorry, I’m an only child.” Gil laughed at this. “Nick does have an elder brother but there may be some family’ issues’ and I believe he’s married.”

“God, no…I couldn’t face that man on the ‘phone as a father-in-law, I’m not that brave…..that was quick, here’s Ms Holding.”

“Ms Holding, I’m Gil Grissom, my partner Nick Stokes has asked me to hold his Power of Attorney and I believe you can facilitate his wish?” Gil said this as they shook hands.

”Lisa Holding, and that’s a tentative yes and a no. The correct process for a Power of Attorney needs a judge to agree and issue the Power. That, of course, is for all or other specified matters…like financial control…but in a hospital environment we’re given a special process to be able to give temporary Power to a Medical Proxy; obviously sometimes it’s a matter of life and death, so it needs to be done speedily, but on other occasions it is for family reasons. But it’s only for four weeks and is intended to give time for the due process to take place. There is also a $500 cost. Do you understand?”

“Yes. Would you care to meet Nick?”

“Please.”

So Ms Holding was ushered into Nick’s room by Gil and Gil proceeded to wake Nick up. The first time he’d actually tried to rouse him. Nick was slow to pull himself out of his sleep, but when he saw the newcomer, he knew she was a lawyer. It was a family instinct.

All the procedures were explained again and Ms Holding took a statement from Nick and said she would have it typed up immediately. The template for the proxy was on the computer and would be ready for their signatures in about thirty minutes. Their identity evidence was in their wallets and she took it away to photocopy. She even had an independent witness. They agreed she’d be back in forty minutes with all the paperwork, ready to sign, and the witness.

“I must strongly urge you to follow this up with the proper POA and get it properly legalised and things like this won’t happen again. Gentlemen.” And off she went.

“Little Miss Efficiency.” Gil spoke.

“Mmmm….gotta sleep.”

“I’ll wake you up in forty minutes and I bet it will be forty; not thirty-nine or forty-one….” He stopped, he was talking to himself.

As Gil had predicted she came back, on time, with an admin office worker, not related to her department. Nick was awakened again; managed to read and sign his statement and then sign four copies of the medical proxy. Gil signed the four copies and the witness signed to agree she’d witnessed the process. They said their thanks and were each given a copy. The hospital kept one and the fourth would be registered with the court as a temporary POA(MP). It was up to them to pursue it now; it would only last for those four weeks and couldn’t be renewed.

They were safe for four weeks. But Gil had every intention of calling his lawyer the next day to start the ball rolling to make it official. He’d also have Nick made his POA, to cover all the bases.

Nick didn’t fall asleep again straight away. He wanted to be with Gil for a little while.

“I’m sorry Gil…I..”

“NO Nick, you have nothing, absolutely nothing, to be sorry about. I’m the one that fucked up, babe. My actions or rather inactions put you in this bed….”

“No Gil…Sara put me….in this bed….she shot me….God, who saw…..that coming?”

“I didn’t.”

“Nor me….she looked…weird man….like she was mad…..insane Gil…she was…wasn’t she?”

“It would seem to be the case; they found a journal in her car, she’d made copious notes about what she’d been doing.”

“Stalked us…..she knew where…we’d been and…what we’d been doing. I’m sorry Gil.” He put his hand up towards Gil’s lips to stop him speaking. “I’m sorry ‘cause I… bad mouthed you to her…to try and get her…to think I was dumping you….not such a good….liar though….she still shot me……shame for her…she was real sad…should have gone…to Ed.”

Gil was speechless. Nick was sorry for Sara? He could see how sad she was? How could this man be the progeny of Judge and Mrs Stokes or, as he now so eloquently took to referring to them, ‘The Fucking Parents’.

“Nick. Shall we go on a special vacation somewhere - when you’re better and able to fly? Somewhere we’ve never been.”

“Plenty of choice….then, I ain’t been anywhere…. babe.” Nick felt so much better than he had just a couple of hours ago. The worry of his parents had receded. His breathing was getting easier. Though it was weird breathing in and not having space for the air he would normally inhale. He could still breathe though, so that was a bonus.

“A lot of choice then - where do you fancy?”

“Nana…Momma’s mother was Scottish…and she used to tell…me stories about when she was …..a girl in Blair Atholl…a village in Perthshire….she died…when I was seven and I always…..wanted to go there.”

“Then that’s where we’ll go…I’ve never been to Scotland.”

“Good…gotta sleep….again, sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry Nicky, please.”

“Called me Nicky…like that….I’m hungry.”

Gil laughed. “I’ll see what the nurse says.” He kissed Nick but he was already asleep, again.

The nurse was very pleased to hear about Nick’s appetite and called the meal services to have a chicken soup delivered to his room - and raspberry jello.

When it arrived, Gil woke him up and he ate nearly all of the soup and all of the jello. This was one patient who intended to get better as soon as he could. He had things to do, a move to make, a new bed to choose, a vacation to sort out and he had a really big question to ask Gil.

The End…tbc with What about sex?