Title: Let Me Be The One
Fandom: CSI: Vegas
Series: 1) Bewilderment, 2) Take Me Home, 3) Cynics, 4) Blood Spatters, 5) Hello Mr. Sanders, 6) Hitting The Wall, 7) Capable Of Murder, 8) The Good Boy, 9) Crying Shame, 10) As I Lay Me Down, 11) Stoic, 12) You Tell Me, 13) Mother, Mother, 14) A Simple Smile, 15) Good Enough, 16) Smack
Summary: Greg goes to the therapist.
***Dr. Sealy was able to see Greg within a day. Nick had spoken with him over the phone at great length and the doctor felt that it would be best to see Greg alone for a few sessions before seeing Nick – specifically to see what Greg was comfortable sharing about his sessions before they moved to couple's counseling.
Nick and Jillian dropped Greg off at the office before going to run errands of their own. Nick had offered to stay, but Greg had insisted that he would be all right on his own. Greg stepped into the office – and was glad to note that it didn't smell like a hospital. He had had enough of hospitals to last him a lifetime. The receptionist greeted him politely.
"Hi, there. Your name, please."
"Great. And you're here a bit early of course to fill out the new patient forms." She handed him a clipboard and a pen. "Just go ahead and grab a seat and work on those. I'll go ahead and let the doctor know you've arrived." She smiled and then disappeared into the office.
Greg looked down at the paperwork anxiously. It was just the normal stuff – personal and insurance information. He didn't know why he had been expecting the therapist to want the details of the attack on the introductory paperwork. His hands were already sweating – he half wished that he had taken Nick up on his offer to stay. He managed to finish the paperwork and returned it to the receptionist. He sat back down and thumbed through a three month old issue of Time and resisted the urge to text Nick.
"Greg?" Greg looked up to see a gray haired man calling his name. He stood up.
The man waited and then extended his hand to Greg. "I'm Dr. Sealy, but you can call me Marcus. Come in and have a seat."
Greg followed Dr. Sealy into a well-furnished office – it reminded him of someone's living room. There was a desk in the corner of the room, but Dr. Sealy sat in an armchair next to a coffee table and motioned for Greg to take the empty chair on the other side of the small table. The doctor poured them both a cup of coffee from the tray on the table. Greg surveyed the room nervously.
"Where do you want me to start, Marcus?"
"Where ever you want, Greg."
"What do you know?"
"I have your file, so I know what happened to you. I know you've been resting at home for the last few days since you left the hospital. Nick has been taking care of you along with his mother, who according to Nick has taken quite a shine to you."
"Can I see my file?"
"I don't think that's the best idea at this time; there are things you may not remember and I don't want to shock you. Once we've had more time together I will show you the file. For now, is there anything else specifically on your mind?"
"When you talked to Nick, did he mention running out on me?"
"I know he went to speak with my colleague at the department. But you tell me what happened on your end."
Greg's hands were shaking as he grasped his coffee cup. "I have these panic attacks. Every time someone touches me for too long, I freak. And there are other things – like when Nick tried to help me to the bathroom when I was in the hospital – but then it was him who took me... when I was there. It was him who did the things to me and not Nick, but my mind... it's confused." He was purposefully vague with his pronouns, unable to be more specific about the attack.
"You're having trouble differentiating the touches of your lover from the touches of your rapist."
Rapist. Rape. These were words Greg had not come to terms with yet. Greg's mouth went dry and the room began to grow dim. He knew Dr. Sealy was talking, but he couldn't understand him. He felt the coffee cup slip from his hands and then watched as the world turned sideways and then dark.
Nick had taken his mother with him to drop Greg off so that he could drop her at his house so that Nick could have some alone time with Greg after the appointment. It was also so that Nick could have some time away from his mother to sit with his own thoughts and deal with some things that he needed to take care of before he went to get Greg later on. Nick could tell that his mother understood as he stopped the car and handed her his house key.
"You gonna be all right, honey?" she asked as she gathered her purse and small travelling bag. She had left the bulk of her things at Greg's.
"Yes, Mama. I'm just going to run a few errands and then pick up Greg."
"And you won't leave him?"
She smiled and leaned across the front seat to kiss his cheek. "I'll leave my cell on." And then she closed the door.
Nick watched and made sure that she got into his place all right before turning into traffic and calling Warrick.
"Hello?" Warrick answered groggily – it was the middle of the day – typical nightshift sleeping time.
"I was just wondering why you didn't come over to see Greg this morning." Nick sipped his coffee at a red light – he hadn't seen a bed in a very long time.
"I was going to. He wasn't waiting for me, was he?"
"No, I didn't say anything. A whole lotta of other stuff was happening and I didn't know if you were actually coming, so I thought it was best to wait for you. So what happened? Case run long?"
"Nah. I came home and Tina was there."
"Shit, what happened?"
"We had another war of the worlds fight about practically nothing that ended with her leaving in a huff and me passing out on the couch. She said a few things... I've never wanted to hit a woman before today... But I could've put her through the wall."
"You want to talk it out over coffee? Greg's at an appointment, so I've got some free time."
"Sure – meet me at the place by my house."
"See you there."
Nick saw Warrick waiting for him at the entrance to the coffee shop. He walked up and answered his ringing cell phone.
"Mr. Stokes, this is Cindy from Dr. Sealy's office."
"Is Greg ok?!?"
"He's fainted in the office. We wanted to know if you could come and help him."
"I'll be there," he said as he hung up the phone. He looked at Warrick.
"Go on man, Greggo needs you more than me. We can talk about this later."
"Sorry, Rick!" he yelled as he ran to his car.
When Greg came around, he didn't know where he was or how he had gotten there. He was lying on his back again. No, please, no. He couldn't be back there – they had saved him, but he fought the hands holding him anyway.
"Greg! Greg! It's Dr. Sealy!" Greg tried to focus his eyes on the man yelling at him. "Breathe, Greg. Calm down. You're not there. You're in my office, Cindy has called Nick to come and see you."
Greg calmed when he heard Nick's name. He watched Dr. Sealy look at the woman at the door – the receptionist from before. "Mr. Stokes is on his way."
Greg sat up and let Dr. Sealy help him off the floor. The receptionist handed him a glass of water after Dr. Sealy had helped him to his seat.
"Do you want to continue or would you like to wait for Nick?" Dr. Sealy asked as the receptionist left.
"I don't think Nick will stay with me."
"The other day. Yesterday. He left without warning – just ran off and I realized I need him, but he doesn't need me."
"He's stayed with you, he came back to you, and he's helping you now."
"I think he feels like it's his fault that Kelly Gordon chose me. I think once he feels he has repaid the debt, he'll leave."
"You don't believe he cares for you?"
"It's not that. It's just what if I can't ever... you know... with him?"
"It hasn't been that long since you came back." There was a knock at the door. "Just wait before you go jumping to conclusions. You just need time. Come in!"
Nick burst through the door, face red and sweating from running. He had had no patience for finding a parking spot, so he had parked across three in the back and ran from there. He grabbed Greg up into a tight embrace.
"Are you ok? They said you had fainted. I was so worried."
"Nicky, I'm okay." He was more than okay. Nick's reaction to the phone call went beyond guilt. For the first time he could truly see how much Nick really cared for him. Nick would wait for as long as it took.
***Next story in series - There Isn't A Manual.
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